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Issue #1155

The Unpublished Issues

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From Russ

Arssritious?

As most of you know, I've been complaining about "a pain in my arss" for years, and finally went to the hospital Emergency in Kincardine yesterday. My number 2 son, Greg drove, and we arrived just after opening time at 7:30am. The lady in 'Reception' asked the usual questions after which we were instructed to sit n the 'green chairs' - except there are no green chairs in the Reception aria! Greg "pounced" on that at once, correcting me harshly, "The gray chairs!!" Sorry, I said in my defense - it sounded like the nurse said, green chairs.

Hearing remains a 'sore spot' as people all seem to talk too fast for my old antenna to pick up. Unless the person doing the speaking/shouting is facing me I can't read their lips and I'm lost.

"Pardon?" "What say?" "Sorry, could you please repeat that last bit?" I find myself responding with these questions more, and more frequently. It is embarrassing at least, and painful as people interpret my questions as "stupidity"! I explain to those close to me - the ones I see on a daily basis, who talk to me from a different room, or with their backs to me that I depend largely on 'lip-reading' - but they still do it!

Now, back to the green/grey chairs: Brother, Lorne who used to teach 'woodworking' to inmates of a long-term care facility near his home when our mother was an in-patient at the place, used to caution me when I came to visit our mom,

"Don't sit in the soft chairs with a 'basin-shaped' seat" This was good advice, which saved my pants on several occasions thereafter. It's not their fault, but they often leave an "unwanted deposit" thereon! Such was the case yesterday when instructed to "Sit in the green/grey chairs". I sat - then I felt with my hand - YUP! The basin-shaped seat was wet! Too late - my bottom was cold, but after an hour, or so it was warm and not-so-comfortable.

Finally, a skinny, young nurse who'd been running flat-out each time she appeared in the waiting area, held up 'two fingers' (and mouthed the words) and we were relieved to learn this was where we would finally see a doctor - in Room #2. After another boring, wait a young girl came in saying who she was (being masked I could not make out what she was saying) "Doctor ?????? She was not only young, she was tiny (just over 5 feet) but she was good!

"I'm going to ask you a few questions before the doctor arrives" she said. She started with her questions, then seeing my 'blank expression' pulled down her mask, and continued. She gave some good advise, then said she was going to speak to my doctor, as she wanted to order some tests.

The tests began: Nurse #1 handed me a plastic bag and said, "Please give me a sample" I was going to reply, a sample of what, but that would be 'out-of-place'

Nurse #2 said, "Take off your jacket, and roll up your sleeve" I felt like asking, "Why?" Are we going to fight? But that too would be out-of-place. She proceeded to take my blood pressure - then clamped that thing on my finger - no reading. Then she tried another finger - still no reading. Am I dead? I asked. No answer.

"Sometimes you have to clamp onto my earlobe as I'm short of blood in my fingers" I explained. No answer.

What was the reading of my blood pressure, I asked, "Fifteen over (something)" She grunted. That's low, said I - my 'target' is 30 over something! "That's good" she snapped, she seemed to dislike me as she turned, and quickly departed. Poor girl, I thought - she's probably over-worked, and under paid as are most nurses in Ontario.

Nurse #3 came in all smiling and happy. "Pretty busy here today" I asked.

"It's always like this around here" she answered. Has there been a serious accident? I asked. to which she replied, "No, we're treating mostly abdominal cases". Sounded like 'abominable cases' (but, I let it go)

"We'll need some blood" she said, as she stuck a needle into my left arm. "Can't get any from that vein" she mumbled, as she poked around until she found a cooperative vein. (ouch, ouch and ouch) "We'll need to inject some dye into your arm in prep for your CT Scan" (Never knew I was going to have such a test when I came to emerg.) I'm still bleeding 24 hours later, from where she injected my right arm. They sure are thorough!! What are they looking for?

Wheeled back to Room #2 where poor Greg is still patiently waiting - it's been nearly 5 hours of waiting and tests! Finally the 'real' doctor came into our room and announced the results of all my tests.

"You don't have a urinary infection; the CT Scan showed nothing; you have a severe case of diverticulosis, bordering on diverticulitos (which is worse); you have "internal hemorroids". You may even have arthritus in your rectum, which can cause you much pain" he went on "I'm going to give you some cream to heal urine scolds, and requisition some rectal suppositories". (Please excuse my spelling of the a.m. conditions).

As soon as we escaped from the hospital, we went to Tim's for something to eat - we were both famished!

I want to thank Greg for his kindness, and unusual patience.

Russ (Starting to feel less pain down under already!!

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HI Guys….

Heat wave….

Our heart wave is sort of over, in that the mid 30’s have move away leaving us with temps in the high 20’s. Thats a relief. I don’t deal with hot weather very well. Thank goodness for our heat pump which does just as good a job as a cool pump. It can keep the living level of the house nice and cool. It can’t do much of the upper floor because hot air rises, cold air sinks. Basic physics. Even at that, we were and are able to keep the bed room sleep-able so thats good.

Way back when I worked we would simply put the heat out of our minds, turn off our brains, and buckle down and do the job. It was how it was. You had no choice so you did it and for the most part, survived. Now I hide in the house and only go out in the cool of the morning or during the late evening once the sun has dropped below the western mountains.

Some of mu blueberry bushes are doing very well this year. The south end of the patch is doing great thanks to that wet cold spring we had. However, the north end of the patch is doing nothing at all. The south end is loaded with berries and they are starting to ripen. However, the damn birds are pecking at them and destroying them witch is frustrating. I think the culprits are starlings but don’t quote me on that.

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Doug

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Have a Good One
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