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Issue #1029
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From Russ

The Ontarion

Hi All,

We needed a new couch. Or to be more precise, ‘The Wife’ deemed we needed a new couch because one of the old ones was falling apart internally. Now, this was over a year ago and last March she ordered one though a local furniture store. The new couch finally arrived last Friday. Not the store’s fault for it taking almost a year to come, the manufacturer in eastern Canada simply couldn't keep up with orders and then shipping was sketchy as well. But it came, it’s sitting where the old one was, and the old one was in pieces out on the back deck. The old one was huge in it’s footprint size and yet only sat 2 because it had big arms and a big puffy back and so on. It was a top quality leather unit and yes, the leather held up very well but the internal framework didn’t. It basically fell apart.

We dragged it out onto the deck where I dismantled it and it came apart disturbingly easy. The inner frame looked like it had been put together with leftover junk wood. Mind you it lasted almost 20 years but it should have lasted a lot longer. The reason for taking it all apart is that there would be no way that we could possibly carry the thing around to the front and load it into the bed of my pickup, its just way to heavy and awkward. But in small pieces there’s no problem at all. One thing I did do was remove some of the leather pieces. I have no idea what I can or will do with them but I just couldn’t face the thought of tossing high quality sheets of black leather. There has to be some use for that kind of stuff. (I know what your are thinking and no, I am not a hoarder, I’m just frugal). If I can’t come up with something useful for the sheets of leather I salvaged, I’ll toss the stuff.

The new couch has a fabric cover and seats 3. Each end has it’s own power button that reclines the back and lifts the lower leg section so you can lay back and relax. The center section stays put. I call the middle section the ‘neutral zone’, just like in Star Trek where each side agrees to not go there. Seems fitting for a couple who have been married for as long as we have. Because the new couch is built more compact and upright, it actually doesn't take up any more space than the old one did. So, between having a neutral zone and not taking up more space, its a win-win situation.

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I’m such a nice guy it’s almost embarrassing. Most mornings I go out for a coffee, not so much because I like coffee but simply for ‘the outing’. And most mornings these days my destination is the upper lodge at the gondola. Face it, why not? I tend to get there just as they open for a couple of reasons. One and most important, I don’t like too many people around and usually when they first open I have the place to myself. And two, I want to get on with my day so the earlier the better. There is a wood burning stove in the corner of the lodge and you can’t beat sitting in front of a crackling wood fire, surrounded by floor to roof glass, looking out at the scenery. On many mornings I get there just as one of the people who work there is trying to get the fire going. They have a wood pile on a rack near the stove but the wood is usually damp, and often of rather poor quality. (I don’t know where they get it but they are getting ripped off in my opinion). Anyway, the person trying to get the fire going is usually struggling with it and often ends up using handfuls of paper napkins from the coffee bar as a fire starter in hopes of getting chunks of the fire wood to ignite. So, I dug out some of the left over pieces of cedar fencing boards that had accumulated from the last time I repaired some of my backyard fence. The pieces were destined for the dump anyway. I split it up into a nice pile of cedar kindling and took it up and placed it beside their wood pile, with a note saying “Use Sparingly”. I have visions of someone who doesn’t know how to lite a fire, trying to lite the fire and dumping the whole bundle in all at once. Pretty thoughtful of me don’t you think, and like I said, I’m such a nice guy. But don’t tell anyone.

doug

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From Russ

A day in the life of an elderly country Gent.

The first one up the ramp was wearing a wry neck, a grimace, carrying a mop and a generous serving of her home-made split-pea and ham soup. It was angel #1, Diane - she went strait to my bedroom.

The next one came carrying a smile, and two slices of her homemade apple pie. She had her man in tow who carried a snow shovel, he cleared the deck and ramps. She was angel #2, Grace - I failed to introduce her to Diane, who was now in the kitchen with us. (Grace looked with 'suspicion' at Diane).

Next to make an appearance, carrying too much weight plus a large over-shoulder bag, and making excuses for being late - breathing hard, while shuffling sheets of paper, was angel #3, Carole. By now I was ashamed to be caught with two other angels in my 'wee' house. I hung my head - made no intros.

The driveway was beginning to look like a used-car lot, when angel #4 arrived. It was Bettie. She was trying to look happy while limping, and struggling with a 3 gallon jug of Ripley water - believe it or not! The only angel in the kitchen when Bettie stumbled in, was Carole. While making intros. a voice from the bedroom said, "I'm in here", to which Carole quipped, "You shouldn't have said that!". We all had a good laugh. No, this is not a harem!!

By now, you've figured-out who all these women were. They each have their place in my 'health team', but they generally don't all arrive within a one-hour period!

Bettie and I had business in Port Elgin - hence, we made our 'escape' leaving a couple angels still in-house.

*

First stop in Port was, of course - Wally-mart. No, I won't need a large cart - not buying that much. Bettie knew better, and insisted I use a large one - I grumbled about always running into people when pushing a large one, but I pushed a large one! Good thing! Although I'm the only one using paper products in my wee abode, I seem to go through a whole lot. I ended-up filling the large cart to the tune of $133.33. That may not seem much, but when you know some used paper is simply flushed away into the septic system, never to be seen, or hear-of again, while the rest goes into the garbage truck. The recycle people won't accept any of my used paper towels or diapers. How rude is that?

Uncle Russ

PS: Truly blessed!

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THE ONTARION REPORT

FEBRUARY 12, 2022

Hello everyone!

We’re almost half way through the month of February and things are barely starting to warm up. At least on the occasional day so far. Unless you’re a skier or ice skater you’re like me and hoping for an early Spring! We can all see that the days are getting longer and that’s a plus for sure! The “Dark Days” of winter are behind us now and of course that can only mean one thing, that the winter solstice is coming to an end! The groundhog from Wiarton may not be as dumb as he looks! LOL! With the earth tilting to a more upright position on it’s axis, we are now getting more sunshine into our front window and we can actually feel the warmth of it’s rays on clear days. I’m actually getting more and more excited about getting the MGB back on the road when the snow is totally melted. I can only peek at the MG under it’s winter cover when I’m out in the garage to work on something and it get’s me more enthusiastic about Spring when I do take the occasional peek at my British Beauty! LOL!

I know it sounds silly to be in love with one’s vehicle but when you’re bitten by the car bug you never seem to get over it! I’ve had a lifetime of love for vehicles ever since my dad took me shopping for his first new vehicle at Forbe’s Motors on Weber Street. He managed to purchase his 1959 Buick LeSabre right out of the show room of the dealership and what an amazing day it turned out to be. We drove home in his new Buick and by the time less than an hour had passed with the new car sitting in the driveway at 37 Floyd St (our address for many years) we had half the men in the neighbourhood gathering around the new vehicle in the driveway! I guess that sold me on the attraction of a shiny new car in one’s possession and I’ve never gotten over it! The only thing that keeps me from expanding my long line of vehicle ownership is the fact that we have other obligations as to where to spend our income. This is of course the case with most married couples unless they are handed a massive family fortune and can spend cash on whatever takes their fancy. I’m not of course regretting having gone down the normal road of marriage and family but once the average person commits to such a life style, he or she must restrict their willy-nilly spending habits of Pre-marital income! Like I say, unless you are in the top two percent of the Income Population, you don’t have the luxury of blowing wads of cash on any darned thing that takes your fancy! However, if you are frugal and have a modicum of common sense, you should be able to afford to update your family vehicle or even your hobby vehicle once in a while during your adult years.

Most car buffs are satisfied with having accomplished in their adulthood obtaining one desirable vehicle and refurbishing it to it’s original condition. I know that I am extremely happy with having purchased our MGB and over the past 32 years of bit by bit reconstruction completed the restoration of the MG! It’s my pride and joy when I attend a local “Cruise Night” and get to discuss the process of restoring our vehicle to perfection with other Car Addicts! I’ve developed a love for foreign vehicles “Mostly British and other European” cars but can appreciate even the dorkiest of other vehicles on show at these “car” events! Since I know how much effort and patience and of course money goes into restoring any vehicle from old age to classic condition it’s something only a “Car guy” can really appreciate! I know that I’ve said in the past that I have a passion for old pickup trucks and I still do yearn to own another old pickup some day but that doesn’t mean I can’t have more than one style of vehicle that catches my fancy! The vehicle hobby seems to surge to the forefront with my purchase of each lotto ticket on a weekly basis! One never knows when that lotto win will come your way and if it does, it’ll most definitely expand my collection of hobby vehicles! There I go dreaming once again but, what’s life without a few dreams now and then!

Of course the dream includes a better life for the whole family and that is actually the ultimate goal of achievement in life isn’t it?

That’s about all I ha ve to say for this week folks!

Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you again next time in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now…. Greg.

PS: Something To Think About>

Taking a walk on a beautiful sunny spring day and breathing in the fresh air of that time of year. Wouldn’t it be even better if breathing that fresh air didn’t have to be filtered through a Mask?

Get your third Shot, if you haven’t already!

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Have A Good One
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