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Issue #1006
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From Russ

The Ontarion

Hey There,

I’m going to have to follow up a bit more on what I wrote about last week, mainly that some of you are not getting your copy of this news letter. It is being blocked or delayed or being sent to your Junk mailbox. I have no idea why and there isn’t anything I can do about it. I’ve even tried sending from a different email address and that didn’t solve anything. So, I would ask that every one of you who are still receiving this to let me know so that I can then figure out who is not receiving these letters. If you are receiving this and you don’t let me know, I will have to assume that your are not. Once we get a handle on who is and who isn’t, we can try to figure out how to proceed.

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Whenever we have the granddaughters here, we also have the their dog. As many of you know, their tiny little dog is called Poppy. Anyway, last time they were here, as in last week or whenever that was, Poppy was kept quite busy hunting and chasing all sorts of back yard creatures, some real, some imagined. One creature she has chased several times and is apparently quite real is a little squirrel. We have a small west coast squirrel around here thats about the size of an eastern red squirrel but not near as obnoxious. Several times the dog and squirrel have almost bumped into each other before noticing the other and both will jump about 4 ft into the air. The squirrel keeps coming as it is attracted to the bird food we put out. The dog keeps chasing the squirrel away, often down the fence line or up a back yard tree. The funny thing is, the crows I’ve talked about seem to think the whole thing is hilarious. They will sit on the neighbors roof or along the deck railing and watch the antics. We can actually hear the crows talking to each other as they watch. They make crow word as they nod toward the dog and squirrel, look back at each other and make more sounds. Its like they are discussing the show and finding it entertaining. And I’m entertained watching the crows watch the dog and squirrel.

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There almost wasn’t any entertainment of the musical kind this week as I’ve had very little opportunity to put anything together or get it ready. However, I managed to do a quick video of an old song called ‘Jennifer Johnson’. In it, the composer is reminiscing about a date he had way back in 1967 when he was young, with a young girl called Jennifer. He had dressed up and taken her to a midway or fair where they had their pictures taken in a little picture booth. Their lives have long since parted ways. He has now stumbled upon her picture in the pocket of his very old jacket and it wondering if she still has one of him. Interestingly, when I played back the video in order to check the web link, I noticed that I totally screwed up the words, getting several verses all mixed together. I have not had an opportunity to re-do it correctly but that’s ok because the words are all there, just in the wrong places, and, if you don’t know the song, you won’t know the difference.

Jennifer Johnson

doug

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From Russ

What am I? (Answer)

Last week I posed a quiz outlining my most 'fascinating' features - the 'wildest' is yet to come!

Although I'm called "the most poisonous plant in the world", you will likely have eaten me if you like chocolate bars, or unwittingly applied me to your most precious 'parts' - both internally and externally. If you 'use me as directed' I'll never hurt you. However, if you 'abuse me' I'll abuse you back! I'm 'brainless' and 'blameless' 'cause I'm just a plant, you see.

Modern industry has 'cold-pressed' me - 'modified' me - 'chemically-altered' me, but my ancestors have been found in Egyptian tombs dating back to 4000BC; my slow-burning oil was mostly used in it's natural state to fuel lamps. And how about this? Old man Herodotus and other Greeks noted the use of my oil for lighting, body ointments, and improving hair growth and texture. (I should try some - I'm nearly bald!).

You won't believe this; Cleopatra is reputed to have used me to brighten the whites of her eyes! (I wondered why they were so pure white). The Ebers Papyrus an ancient Egyptian medical book believed to date from 1552BC and translated in 1872, describes my oil as a 'laxative'. The use of my precious oil in India has been documented since 2000BC in lamps and in local medicine as a laxative - other Ancients called me the king of medicinals for curing arthritic diseases. And children were regularly made to swallow my oil as parasitic worms were generally present. Even modern medical research suggests the purgative action induced by my oil helps clear intestines of parasites.

Haiti recently experienced another severe earthquake killing well over 2000 people and ruining most of their businesses and dwellings. Haiti has always been hit by catastrophes - even their babies experience a horrifying 'treatment' - in Haiti they call me "maskrets", a red oil that is given to newborns as a purgative to cleanse their insides of their first stools. No shit! Yup - that's a "punishment" for no reason!

USES in PUNISHMENT. My oil was used as an instrument of coercion by the paramilitary Blackshirts under the regime of Italian dictator Benito Mussolini and by the Spanish Civil Guard in Francoist Spain. Dissidents and regime opponents were forced to ingest my oil in large amounts, triggering severe diarrhea and dehydration, which could ultimately cause death. This punishment method was originally thought of by Gabriele D'Annunzio, the Italian poet and Fascist supporter, during the First World War. (Way-to-go, Gabby)

And now, you know WHAT I AM. This Season, as you travel through city parks or 'snooty' neighbourhoods - look for the tallest plant in the centre of a flowerbed - it's probably one of my relatives> I AM A CASTOR BEAN PLANT.

Written by your old Uncle Russ, based on researching Wikipedia, and topic suggested by my Dear Cousin, Rosy.

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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!

Here we are in early September and the weather has finally cooled off some! We suffered with the great heat that BC complained about for a couple of months before it arrived here in Ontario. I’m hooping that the fall will continue to be at a pleasant temperature. I usually ask that it last until the winter is over but, that’s a misnomer for sure! If we’re lucky it will last for three months or a shade less. Actually the weather pros are predicting a hard and cold winter this year and I wouldn’t doubt we’ll see just that! It’s ok though since we’ll all be spending it mostly inside with the Covid-19 problem still in effect! I guess we’ll just have to ride it out until another year has passed and we learn to cope with the Covid-19 problem long into the future! Covid isn’t the only problem we’ve got on our hands, we have the federal election to contend with this month and the effects of that will last for at least four years! Oh well, I’m sure things can’t get much worse politically! Carole pointed out that the presence of election commercials on TV are sort of interesting this time around. She knows that I am no big fan of Justin’s but she pointed out to me that at least he isn’t wasting his campaign funds on commercials that slam the other parties. However, the other three parties are indeed slamming the Prime Minister every chance they get! I have to agree that in that respect Justin is showing to be a class act this time around by refraining from such low life campaign tactics! I’m not going to get myself too worried about the elections this year since I have enough on my mind to keep myself busy for the next few months!

What with all the fall stuff to work at and Christmas coming on only 3 and a half months from now! I have to busy myself making my list for Santa since us old guys tend to have a more difficult time thinking of stuff we need! LOL! Really, at my age I must admit that I really don’t need very much at all for Christmas or any other occasion! I think it may be time to just sit back at that time of year and watch all the old Christmas movies that come out each December and earlier, enjoy a cup of coacoa with a few marshmallows floating on top and let others do the festive things that happen on and around December 25th.

I’m getting so I don’t really have much to concern myself with at my age and it’s time to enjoy my old age rather than worry about every little thing happening around me and to me!

It’s time to do just that and do less worrying altogether!

That’s about it for this week folks!

Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now … Greg

Something To Think About>

Others!

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Take Care And Be Safe
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