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The
Squamidian Report – May 29 / 21
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Of This And Past Issues Issue
#992 From Russ From The Shores Of Lake Huron The Ontarion
Hi All, Well, I’ve had my new motorcycle for just under a month now. New vehicles are always nice to have but with bikes there is a small frustration, they have to go in for service at or around the 1600 km mark. This is a requirement. It gives the dealer’s service department a chance to check everything over, to do a full ‘service’ that includes changing all the fluids and filters, and so on. It also gives them another opportunity to dig deep into your wallet as this particular service is expensive and time consuming and necessary in order for the warrantee to be valid. So, they can charge though the nose for it. And yes, its a bit of a scam as most car dealers include the first service in the price of the car and then tell you that it’s free. Then there is the issue of getting the bike to the dealer. We live in Squamish and the dealer is in Vancouver. I hate going into Vancouver. The Harley dealer is about 75 km from my home and with traffic, that becomes about an hour and a half ride each way. I certainly don’t mind riding for an hour and a half but the section of that ride that is in city traffic gives me might mares. Anyway, in I went on Friday morning. It was down right chilly out but thats normal when riding along the Sound early in the morning. Crossing the Second Narrows Bridge was fine going in my direction but the traffic coming the other way was stopped due to a stalled truck on the bridge. Traffic was backed up for miles and miles. Luckily, that didn’t effect me and I got to my appointment at the HD dealer with time to spare. The 1600km service would normally take about 4 hours (yes, you heard that right) and I was prepared to wait because there really wasn’t much choice about that. However, I was hoping that the saddle bags that were back ordered would be in so I wouldn’t have to make another trip in, and they were. Installing them would add an hour (that of course I wouldn’t be paying for) to the time. Then, when they were doing the service they noticed a defect from the factory, the primary chain inspection cover had a stripped bolt thread. They happily replace the $400 primary cover under warrantee but that added another hour so after getting there at 8:30 am, I didn’t leave until 5:00 pm. Luckily for me, Ryan had decided to meet me there in his car and we went back to his place in Maple Ridge for several hours so that all worked out fine. The only other thing to say was that I had been bundled up for the ride in and because the day warmed up nicely, I was way over-dressed for the ride home. And thats that. Oh, one more thing, the saddle bags look great.  Ok kids, here’s a song most of you will have never heard before, and for that matter have never heard of. Written by Kate Wolf, its called ‘Across The Great Divide’. The song tells a story about a relationship that becomes divided and equates it to the watershed effect of a mountain. I’ve managed to put both an audio and video version together for your entertainment enjoyment. As per usual, the audio version will have instrumentation and harmonies, the video version will be embarrassing. But thats how it goes, thats the cost of doggedly coming up with something for each week, the price you pay for my dedication. Enjoy. Audio
Version Video
Version doug ****
From Russ
Be careful what you wish for! It seems I let it be known that I love lemon meringue pie, and with my 92nd BD upon us, I could almost hear friends & neighbours asking, “What can I get for that old man’s Birthday?” Now, some people are ‘hard to buy for’ – not me! Their is no gift I’d appreciate more than a piece of lemon meringue pie! So, guess what? My Daughter-in-law Bettie (Greg’s wife), gave me ½ a Lemon meringue pie on my Birthday. It didn’t stop there, my House-keeper (Diane), brought me another ½ a lemon meringue pie the day after my BD. I was out on my 3-wheeler doing a little riding, and a lot of visiting – was gone for about an hour. Arriving home, I found my very good neighbour pacing up-and-down my driveway – How long have you been waiting? I asked - would have been here long ago if I’d known you were coming. “Not long” said Doug Moogk (What a name, eh?). Doug shovels my deck and ramps each Winter – great friend and neighbour. “Grace is up on the deck sitting in the shade of your sun umbrella”, said he. “Oh, hi Grace, sorry to keep you waiting in this heat” (30C.) said I. Walking up the ramp, I spied a dish on the table in front of her – it looked like Lemon meringue tarts (Oh Boy!) WOW! I gushed (sounding phoney). Lemon tarts!! Grace is a great baker. She brings me baked goods frequently – always delicious – always “forbidden”. (Doesn’t she know I’m diabetic?). “I had baked you a lemon meringue pie, but the Grand-kids ate it all!” Grace, I replied, there is no gift you could have brought me I’d appreciate more, than lemon meringue tarts, said I (trying to sound genuine). On the dish, were seven beautiful, large tarts. “I would like the dish back when you’re finished eating the tarts”, said Grace. You can have your dish back right away – I’m going to eat ‘em all right now! “You’re diabetic!” she cautioned” I didn’t think you should eat sweets in large quantities!”. Just kidding (no sense of humour) – I’ll eat no more than one-a-day. “We’ll have to get home, we have things to do, said Grace “Doug will put those tarts in the fridge for you”. NO! Please – just set the no the counter. (I didn’t want Doug to see in the fridge, another ½ lemon meringue pie!)
You know – sometimes you can get more-than-you-want of a good thing?
Your old Uncle Russ. ** Addendum to: Be careful what you wish for. FLASH. I dare not eat seven lemon mirangue tarts on top of the other pie I’d already eaten, so I gave them to Bettie. She was more than delighted! Today, my son brought back the empty ‘tart plate’ as requested by Grace. He didn’t say, “Thanks for the lemon tarts – they were delicious”. Did you not have any? I asked. “No” he said sheepishly. “Bettie had eaten half of them before she got home – and the rest at suppertime!”. I know she loves lemon pies and/or tarts, so I’m not surprised. One time, she and I ate three large slices each – after a big dinner!. We’re ‘pigs’. Now, get this: Greg was doing some lawn work at my place, and had just sat down for a rest and a beer. Suddenly, he jumped up and exclaimed, “Gotta go into town and get a Birthday card for Bettie!” – then added, “gotta get a gift too” (you won’t believe what he said next) – “Get’er a lemon pie”. Note: Maybe he will get a slice this time – if he’s ‘fast’, and ‘lucky’.
Russ. ****
From the Shores of Lake Huron – Port Elgin
Greetings everyone. Hope you all had a great week, i will see what we can come up with this week to entertain you reading pallet. It has been an interesting week indeed, I am assuming most of you know about the Emerald Ash Borer that has been devastating the mature ash trees all over Ontario. Every where you see hundreds of trees being cut down most being used for firewood which has to remain in the area that they were cut down. They cannot be transported anywhere else even in the cut up and split state for firewood. There is a wood sawmill between here and the town of Walkerton that has Firewood piles like I have never seen . They already have enough for at least 5 to 8 years to sell. A friend of mine not far from my place has a number of them to be removed on his property. He got a price of $ 8000.00 to remove them buck them up but not take any wood away as these folks have all they can handle. . They also told him there were 3 they couldn’t touch because they were to close to the hydro lines and that that would be Hydro One’s task. Well he called 3 weeks ago and 2 days later a employee came out to survey the situation and agreed they would have to take them down for him. They would cut them down but not remove the wood or chip up all the branches. They also said they would be there that Saturday to complete the work. So he stayed home all day but they never showed, was a thoroughly ticked man. I told him they wouldn’t come on a Saturday. So as it turned out they came this week, did as they said but he had no way of moving this log wood. He knew I have an old skid steer , yes Doug it is Franks old beast that I bought and its still going strong. So I went down with it and my forks and he had another guy come with his 7 x 10 dump trailer to load it into. So upon loading it up this guy was very impressed how easy it was to get loaded. He has a farm where he takes it cuts it up and sells it. He has done a few around the loads from around the area. He has loaded it with tractor and bucket but with the skid steers ability to move the forks fast it was easy to stack up in the trailer. It took 3 loads to get it all . He said with his tractor he would have had to make 6 loads. So he was happy and so was my friend. I did not need any wood as I have 4 trees on my property I have to remove in the next few years they are still getting leaves but when they don't down they will come also. Well that's this weeks episode from Port Elgin everyone stay safe and have a great week . Brian ****
THE ONTARION REPORT Once again: Here we go for another week closer to the 1000 mark of the Squamidian weekly! It’s been a long haul and it ain’t over yet! LOL! It’s hard to believe this has been going on for so many years let alone editions! I’m sure it would fill a couple of book shelves in anyone’s library if they chose to compile all the weekly’s that Doug and the rest of us have written over the past 20 years! I think it might be cool to print out all of the Squid reports and bind them into several volumes for a complete collection of Seinfeld-like “books about “nothing”! LOL! The big difference between the Seinfeld series about nothing and the Squamidian/Ontarion reports about “nothing” is the millions of dollars that the TV show generated and the Zero Dollars this weekly has generated! LOL! Oh well, maybe we could interest some Hollywood producer in making our ramblings into a TV show and see how well it would be received! One never knows how something like this would go over but I have my doubts! Oh well, regardless, it’s been fun and it still is fun to just use our imaginations and hope that most of the recipients still enjoy reading this weekly report! * With the on again off again weather we’ve managed to get most of our yard work for spring done over the past couple of weeks. The pond is bubbling as usual and the gardens are lush and green and colourful this year just like most years. We’ve still got tons of birds enjoying the feeder and inhabiting the several bird houses that I’ve made and hung on the back fence. We have as I may have mentioned last week, got our second family of Robins nesting in Carole’s little watering can on the patio wall. When Adam checked the other day, there was one lonely blue egg in the nest. That makes for the second family of this season. The mother Robin is settled quite calmly on the nest even when we walk out and sit to enjoy the day on the patio just beneath her nest. I guess she’s learned to trust that we won’t bother her or her future family. Last week, Adam was working in the garden doing some assistance to Carole and he found a nice big juicy dew worm. He picked it up and walked back to the patio within a few feet of the Robin’s nest and dangled the worm at eye level to the mother Robin. He then set the worm down on one of the walkway flag stones and watched from a distance. It only took a couple of seconds for the mother Robin to fly down out of the nest to the walkway and pick up the juicy worm. She then flew back into the nest on the watering can wall and began feeding it to her young recently hatched chicks. This happened several times and it became obvious at that time that she really did come to trust Adam not to bother her but to make friends with her! How cool is that? We are hoping that the new Robin couple will be that trusting as well. The first family had three chicks and they of course only took a little over a week before they left the nest and we could watch them hopping around in the garden with their mother and stick close to her as she fed them worms and bugs from the soil! I’m sure even if this new mother only had the one egg to tend, we’ll be entertained with her baby soon as well! …. Mother Nature at work is most certainly amazing! The Robins have been inhabiting our back wall spot for almost 20 years now and it’s incredible how they know enough to build their nest there year after year without fail. Of course last year we had the disaster where some creature likely a stray cat destroyed the nest and shredded the babies and the entire nest. Luckily that hasn’t happened this year and so far the second family is safe as well. We’ll just have to keep a close watch on them to make sure no critters try to repeat the problem of last year. I’m sure things will be ok since the first family made it to completion in good shape. We haven’t had any stray cats, raccoons or smelly skunks in the yard this year so I think both the Robins and the Payne family will make it through the summer in good shape. Fingers crossed! Now all we have to do is survive the Covid-19 problem. I’m hoping as is everybody else on earth that the Covid will be over with sooner rather than later in this year, if not next! If we all behave ourselves and follow the directions of the Health Authorities this crisis will end before next year and we’ll be back to some semblance of normal! That’s about all I have for this week folks! Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report! Bye for now…… and be safe! Greg PS:
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