The
Squamidian Report – Oct. 24 / 20
Issue #961
Including:
From
Nova
Scotia Sus
From
Russ
The
Ontarion
Hi
All,
An
interesting
coincidence after Greg’s backyard visitor in last
weeks’s issue’… my nice new (well, now 8 month old with
11,000
km under her belt) truck has a bit of a stink to it.
Yup. Skunk. The
proverbial ‘dead skunk in the middle of the road’
situation. And
thats exactly what it was. I knew it was there, could
see it up ahead
but due to the traffic around me there was no way I
could maneuver
around it, no way to avoid driving right over it, or
it’s remains
as the case actually was. It didn’t make much of a bump
as it had
already been well squished and flattened but it still
had some degree
of potency to share with anyone lucky enough to squeeze
a bit more
juice out of it. So, small bump on the road then that
unmistakable
aroma wafting into the cab. It soon dissipated but could
still be
smelled on the outside by the front wheel. Oh well, this
too shall
pass.
*
Those
of
you who watch the night sky will be fully aware of the
cool
views that are
happening these days.
Things like a very bright Mars rising in the east after
sunset. Mars
is currently at the closest to Earth in it’s orbit, and
won’t be
this close again for another 15 years. So, it’s big and
bright.
There is Venus who rises in the same place but at dawn.
Again, big
and very bright, pretty hard to miss. In fact the only
way you could
miss her would be to purposely not look for her. Right
now the Moon,
Jupiter and Saturn are close together in the south once
the sky is
dark, creating a very nice display. The Moon will
quickly move
eastward and go from a crescent to a half and on to a
full display
with each passing day. The Moon’s appears to move
quickly in
relation to the planets of course because she orbits the
Earth while
they orbit the Sun, so that display is ever changing.
However,
getting back to Jupiter and Saturn, there is another
cool display
taking shape. They are relatively close together now and
they are
moving ever closer (from our visual perspective). They
will continue
to move closer to each other as seen from our vantage
and by December
21 form what is called a ‘grand conjunction’. On that
date they
will appear to be only 0.1 degrees apart, about a fifth
of a moon’s
diameter, so, visually right beside each other.
Therefore,
there
is a whole lot more to look forward to for December 21st
than
just the start of winter. Assuming a clear sky we can
all, or at
least those who want, see a rather rare celestial sight.
Mark your
calendars and hope for a clear night sky. Don’t want to
miss this
one.
*
I’ve
go
a treat for everyone this week….no videos of me for you
to put
up with. For this week’s musical distraction I’ve found
time to
put together an audio recording with all it’s
instrumentation and
harmonies. In fact, I can only do this number as an
audio recording
because it is built around harmony. I think one of the
first groups
to do it was the Eagles way back when, and it tends to
turn up every
now and then when being done by some of the newer groups
and bands,
but always arranged
around the multiple vocal parts. As I get older I’m
finding the
harmony tracks are getting harder to do as I can no
longer reach
those higher notes and any attempt at falsetto would
induce fits
of coughing and gaging from
me and fits of
laughter from you. This song begs for those high notes
but we will
have to do with out. A bit of mandolin here and there
helps but only
for balance between verses, it can’t replace the high
vocals that
are not there. As well, this song is supposed to be
powerful and have
some drive and punch to it. That I can’t do either
because no
matter how I arrange a tune, it always comes out laid
back and
sounding like its me. Oh well. This is what you get this
week, my
audio
version of a song called
‘Seven Bridges
Road’. Enjoy.
Seven
Bridges
Road
And
guess
what? I’ve go another treat for you, this one is a
video, one
that Ryan sent in. Here’s my main competition rockin’
out on a
guitar, making it up as she goes. Olivia letting lose.
Olivia
&
Her Song
doug
****
From
Nova
Scotia Sus
It
sure
is dark at 7 in the morning these days. Even the
chickens are
feeling it. I go out every morning early to turn on
their light and
I feel like I'm disturbing their sleep. I'm told the
more light they
have the more egg production we get. Also another trick
I learned is
to not collect some eggs too early in the morning as
they will be
inspired to lay more. And no treats from the garden
until they are
done laying. Learning to be a farmer is pretty
complicated and
rewarding. We have 11 young chickens we raised from one
day old that
will start laying soon. Somewhere between 18 to 20 weeks
old is
about their time. I have regular customers that buy eggs
from us so
the more the better. Another crop that has been doing
very well is
our garlic. It seems everyone wants to buy garlic or
start planting
it themselves. So to date I have sold over $200 worth.
With so much
interest we decided to plant over a thousand cloves this
fall. Each
clove will give us a whole garlic bulb to harvest next
August 2021. So lets hope there is enough interest next
year for the sale of
garlic.
We
sure
can't complain about our weather this summer and fall.
This
would have been a great year for the tourist season but
with the
covid things were very quiet and empty. We are doing
really good
here with very low numbers of active cases and good long
stretches of
no new cases. I am very thankful for where we live and
our
lifestyle. There is so much to do right at home where we
would
rather be anyway. Avoiding people is not a problem
living out in the
country surrounded by trees and fields. When we go to
town its just
a quick trip and back because that is the uncomfortable
place,
wearing masks and avoiding everyone. I hope everyone
keeps safe and
patient while we get through this time.
Sus
****
From
Russ
Nightmare
(conclusion)
The
local
fire-fighters arrive before the Army, and in no time the
cops
on the roof are being blasted with ice-cold water! Lucky
for them,
they have a place to ‘hide’ from the cruel force of
relentless
water – like most flat roof structures of the time,
there is an
extension of the outer brick walls rising above the flat
roof to
contain rainwater until the roof-drain takes over. The
local
‘smoke-eaters’ keep pouring water onto the roof –
“We’re
gonna
die by drowning!”, the cops cry in one voice, as the
water is
now a foot deep on the flat roof. The short wall
protects them from
the blast of water, but not from the smoke which is
terrible!
“Cough!
Cough!
– Can’t breathe! – Can’t see!”. The flames are now
leaping higher than their protective wall – threatening
to burn
them to death!!
“HELP!
They
all scream – terrified!! A second fire-truck arrives,
but
there’s only one hydrant – so the firemen sit and
watch?!
(The
heavy
rumbling is now much nearer)
“The
Army’s
here!! Thank God!” – everyone breathes a sigh-of-relief!
The Army comes well-equipped. They have ‘high-rescue’
boom-trucks, and water-tankers. They almost immediately
begin hosing
the inside of the flaming old cop-shop (something the
local’s
hadn’t thought about), while getting their boom-trucks
in position
to rescue the boys, clinging to the top of the brick
wall like
sparrows on a telephone wire.
“OH-NO!!
–
ROOF’S COLAPSING!!” everybody screams. As in
slow-motion, the
whole flat roof starting with the rear, slides down –
pouring
hundreds of gallons of water onto the flames below; with
a roar like
Niagara, a hiss like 10 steam-engines, sending ash and
steam high in
the former blue sky above the ‘Jerk-off town’.
Although
badly
singed by the heat and flames, suffering from
smoke-inhalation,
and smelling like J.M. Schnider’s smoked-sausage, no
lives were
lost – not even those of the Bikers!
“Where
are
they? No sign of them anywhere?” asks a cop. “GOOD!!”.
Hell’s Angels” was disbanded shortly after this
happening.
C
O N C L U S I O N
The
police
station (formerly Bank of Toronto Bldg.), was completely
destroyed, along with the ‘borrowed’ 50-cupper and all
of their
‘borrowed coffee. What a shame! The Chinese gentleman, a
victim of
Police brutality is suing the P.D. and the Town of <
> for the
loss business and his coffee-maker. The police station
is now located
in the former Presbyterian Church (with necessary
renovations). Cost
to the town, approximately $200.000.
Sergeant
George
is promoted without pay increase, to Acting Chief of
Police
(The real Chief resigned due to “medical issues”).
The
Fire
Chief is credited with saving the lives of the entire
P.D.
The
Army
has submitted a bill for their “Rescue Operation”.
($300.000). Town Property Taxes are raised 15% to cover
the
‘expenses’.
My
house
rent is doubled. I move back to my ‘home town’ and apply
to
KPD – am quickly hired as a “Cadet”. How embarrassing –
I
left KPD as a Sergeant!
Your
old
Uncle Russ.
PS
I
hope readers of The Great Squamidian enjoyed my
“Nightmare” as
much as I did writing it. As you may recall, it was
based on a true
story of which I was a part, when with Kitchener Police
Department (a
million years ago). The story came to me as a recurring
“Bad
dream”.
****
THE
ONTARION
REPORT
Hello
everyone!
I
hope you’re all staying safe these days during the
second wave of
this Covid-19 problem we’re having here in Canada. It
will all be
over soon we all hope!
*
It
seems
that fall is passing us by at a quick rate this year.
The
leaves have all turned and are now falling like lead
balloons from
the trees. I guess it’s just the way things happen when
the weather
gets colder as it has been over the past couple of
weeks.
We’ve
had
a lot of bird action at the feeder lately including the
visits
from our Blue Jay family or families. We’ve had many
different
birds out at the feeder and sometimes all at the same
time. We’ve
had Jays, Cardinals, Sparrows, Read headed woodpeckers
and even the
odd Cedar Waxwing at the feeder and sometimes all at
once. It’s
been amazing to see the variety of wildlife out back
enjoying the
seeds that Adam puts out in the feeder.
I’m
sure
many of them will hang around for most of the winter.
Even the
little chipmunk family has been busy packing the seeds
etc away for
their winter stash! There has even been a few squirrels
grabbing up
the castoffs from the feeder to store for their winter
food supply!
Last week Adam looked out at the feeder and spotted
another cat
sitting at the foot of the flagpole/feeder just waiting
for the
chance to pounce upon a bird or two for a quick lunch.
He was one
that we hadn’t seen before and was a domestic cat from
somewhere in
the neighbourhood. He or she was wearing a blue colour.
After the
last times when the ferule (Spelling?) cat destroyed and
ate the baby
Robins out back we didn’t want to take a chance that
this one would
do the same to the unsuspecting bird life at the feeder.
So, Adam set
a live animal trap in the yard, figuring we’d catch the
cat and
deliver him/her to the Humane Society to be returned to
it’s owners
for a hefty lecture and fine for letting it run free!
This would
hopefully teach it’s owners a lesson and it wouldn’t run
free
again. However, the cat never came back and Adam managed
to catch a
large Raccoon in the trap the first night it was set. He
decided to
call the Humane Society that day and ask if they would
come pick up
the Raccoon. When he phoned them they gave him a phone
number for a
wild animal rescue company in Cambridge. When he phoned
that number,
he was told that they would only respond if the animal
was in
distress or injured and there would be a hefty charge
for doing so!
So he phoned the Humane Society once more and asked what
else he
could do and was told to take the Raccoon to a spot
about a kilometre
from our location and turn it loose. With no other
alternative, he
put the trap and animal in the back of his truck and
took it out to
the country side and released it in a remote spot. He
said the
Raccoon didn’t even look back at him and ran immediately
into the
bush at the location of it’s release! I’m sure it will
make
another home at it’s new location and be just fine. I
doubt they
are like cats or dogs that find their way home when
moved to or lost
in a remote location.
So
much
for our latest adventure involving our back yard animal
sanctuary! LOL!
That’s
about
all for this week folks!
Thanks
for
tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all
again
next time in The Ontarion Report!
Bye
for
now …. Greg
PS:
Something
To Think About>
What
is
your guess when it comes to the American Presidential
Election?
Thank
goodness
we don’t have to go through a federal election and face
a
change of government here in Canada! During this time of
a serious
pandemic, that’s the last thing we need!
****
Take
Care And Be Safe
The
Fine Print!
The
articles in these issues are the sole property of the
persons writing them and should be respected as such.
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