Issue #936
Including:

From Russ
The Ontarion

Hi All,

The west coast’s early spring drought is over. Has been for a couple of weeks now. The up-side is the forest fire risk has gone way down. The down-side is that there is a lot of flooding in the Interior of the province. Funny how everything seems to have two sides, the up-side and the down-side. Just like the current situation we all find ourselves in, we don’t have to do anything, and, there is nothing to do.

Another interesting aspect of the current situation is the number of speeders being nailed by traffic enforcement on the highways. This seems to be happening everywhere. Hot cars, hot trucks, hot bikes being nailed for doing double the speed limit both in towns and out on the highways. It’s like the one thing that never seems to take a few days off is the tendency for stupid people to do their stupid things. I must admit I get a real kick out of seeing some jerk pulled over at the side of the road when it was that same jerk that went speeding by me a few minutes earlier. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against driving fast. I’m against speeding. There is a difference.

And by the way, I’ve had my bike back out on the road for the last month and a half but have only been down to Horseshoe Bay once on it. There’s simply nothing open there so there’s nothing to do there. However, I’ve ridden Ryan’s Harley to there as well. Just to there, not back. You see, he brought his bike up to here to have our local mechanic put some new tires on it and give it a good going-over. His bike has not had much use over the last few years and needed some attention. Now that he will hopefully have some time on his hands, he may be able to get out on it once in a while. I must say, riding his little 1200 Sportster is not like riding my big heavy arm chair of a bike. His is bare bones, hard, loud and fast. By the time I got to the Bay on it I could hardly walk. They came up from Maple Ridge to pick up the bike as the Bay is about half way and I didn’t want to head down into city traffic on his bike. That also let the kids and the little dog chase the sea gulls and the crows that hang around there. Now I’m back to riding my big heavy comfortable bike and my old bones approve.

Ok, here’s one from the early days of TV entertainers. A duet that called themselves Homer & Jethro did silly songs and humorous song etc, and one of the one’s they did back then was called the ‘The Billboard Song’. In order to understand the song at all you must remember that way back then, billboards were one of the main forms of advertising. Messages of all sorts were stuck to the big signs, similar to wall paper being stuck to a wall. The premiss is that during a big wind and rain storm the various messages became mixed up and shuffled, leaving the supposed teller of the story bewildered by the altered advertisements. And yes, it’s a silly, fluffy little song with absolutely no redeeming value at all except that it is in fact silly and fluffy. And, I’m not even sure how it is that I remember this song because I have no recollection of actually ever hearing it but obviously I must have at some point in time.

The Billboard Song

doug

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From Russ

“Stay home. Stay safe. Save lives”.

That’s the moto used to stop the spread of coronavirus, covid-19.

Cottagers are told not to go to their ‘summer places in the sun’ as everyone is a possible carrier of the dreaded virus. More people = more exposure – makes sense.

As most of the readers of this news letter know, yours truly courted and fell hopelessly in love with a pretty school teacher’s daughter whose parents had a summer cottage on the shores of the sometimes calm, sometimes furious, Lake Huron. (That description also described Bobbies Mother!)

Please accompany me ‘down memory lane’ to the year 1950. Seventy years ago Point Clark was a sandy beach beside the Lighthouse. A few schoolteachers and retired doctors had built Summer cottages along the shorelines; and they were “real cottages”; usually only one story and set upon cedar log posts or cement blocks; no electric power; no indoor plumbing just the ‘out-house’ for doing #1 and #2, and the lake for bathing. No ‘dug wells’, only “sand-points” for drinking water. You remember the little hand-pump over the kitchen sink where babies were bathed and vegetables washed, and water was heated either on a ‘cookstove’ fueled by wood, or a coal-oil stove. The Fred and Edyth Dickson cottage had 3 bedrooms, each separated only by a wooden partition that was NOT soundproof nor peep-proof, as the partitions were only about 6 feet high!

Although there was a spare bedroom inside, Edyth put yours truly out in the sunroom. Hmmm. Large windows opening onto the lake provided a good view by day, and a peaceful ‘lapping’ sound by night. I never slept better in my life! Never got up for a pee either, I had to ‘go’ badly, but Edyth had piled so many heavy blankets over me, I COULDN’T get out of bed! I think she had a reason ‘other than’ keeping me warm – keeping her daughter safe?

Now, it’s 2020 and most of the lakefront cottages are gone, replaced be ‘mansions’ taking up the lake frontage of two or more small cottage lots! Some are three or more storys high with 3-car garages, and landscaping with tall shrubs completely shutting-out a view of the lake! That shouldn’t be allowed. They DON’T own the ‘view’!!

The reason I’m writing this has to do with the behaviour of some ‘full-time’ residents toward ‘cottagers’. Not so much here, but in Muskoka where the flood of cottagers are heading North out of Greater Toronto, to ‘escape’ the affects of being cooped up in a high-rise apartment with screaming kids and frantic spouses! Some of the ‘full-timers’ have taken to putting up signs

COTTAGERS NOT WELCOME

While others ‘bad-mouth’ cottagers as they arrive ---“How stupid are you? Ass-hole! Don’t you know we have an epidemic! Ass-hole!!”

With the May 24th holiday weekend fast approaching, when we here in sleepy old Point Clark can expect a huge influx of visitors ( especially if it’s fine weather and good for ten camping), and 5 or 6 cars, a bunch of tents, and a few camper trailers, the size of box-cars are parked in/ around the week-end cottages. More people = more exposure = more spreading of covid-19!!

I’m afraid to ride my bike when THEY are here – not because of exposure, but because of being hit by one of those green ‘blurs’ that shoot past my driveway at 50+K,s! The speed limit is 25. These young people (age 14 to 24) have a “need for speed”, and stand upright in their ‘Army- green, off-road’, jet-fuelled, four- wheeled machines, as they ‘whip’ by my place.

I want to die of ‘old age’, not by some kid riding a green canon-ball!!

Your old Uncle Russ.

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Ontarion Report

Hello everyone!

I’m just back from the eye doctor’s from a semi annual check-up and can hardly see the screen on the computer to write my weekly column. I’ll muddle through it somehow I hope!

I was a little hesitant to go to the Dr’s office this week because the last time I went there were at least 50 people sitting in the waiting room. I didn’t want to go this time if things were going to be like that again during the Covid problem. I called to cancel my appointment last week and the receptionist said they were only allowing 6 persons in at a time and were checking them before they even entered the building for signs of covid. So I kept my appointment and things were well controlled as she had said on the phone. I was only in there just over an hour when the last two times took well over three hours to complete the visit. With the check-up done the Doctor said all is well but I have to go back in three months for further laser surgery on the right eye. I can handle that as long as the pandemic is over with by then.

Things are starting to improve weather wise as most of you know by now. They are predicting sunshine and warmth starting this weekend I hope! I managed to make use of a dethatching blade on my mower that has hung in my garage for about ten years now. I finally brought it down last week and mounted it on the mower and ran it over the lawn. It worked well but it sure scalped the lawn in the high spots! After scuffing up all the dead grass I ran the lawn mower over it again with the normal blade back on the mower. That mulched most of the dead stuff and then it was out with the fertilizer spreader containing seed and fertilizer mixed. This should bring the grass back up to a nice lush green carpet within a week or so once the sun comes out again. We’ve had a couple of nights and days of rain and that will help as well. The robins were helping themselves to the worms on the dethatched lawn while I was still working on the project! It was funny indeed that they weren’t even afraid of me or the mower that day. They just kept hopping out of my way as I went back and forth across the yard! Our beautiful Robin couple is back again this year and have started to build their usual nest in the tiny decorative watering can on the wall shelf out on the patio once again! It’s always nice to see that they are trusting us enough that they aren’t scared away from their nest and babies once they’ve hatched their usual three or more eggs! We have to keep an eye on their nest and eggs to watch that the darned black birds don’t steal the Robin’s eggs. It’s happened a couple of times where they’ve cleaned out the entire nest on the Robins. Hopefully that won’t happen this year. I’ve also cleaned up a 10’ x 4’ space in the back flower bed so that Carole can plant some of the veggies she wants to grow herself this year. She planted garlic last year and it’s been sprouting since mid March. The garlic is already about 8” in height so hopefully we’ll get a good crop this time! Carole also has onions of a couple varieties to plant as well. It should make for many good and stinky meals once she harvests the new crop! LOL! MMmmmmm…..Mmm!

I can hardly wait!

Speaking of eating, they said that New Zealand has already reopened up many of their closed businesses. They said the first to open and the busiest were the McDonald’s outlets. They said last night on the news that people were lined up by the hundreds and more around the McD’s and down the streets surrounding them! I can think of better places to eat out once this is over than at McDonald’s! Oh well, there’s no accounting for taste I guess. I’m getting anxious to buy my new license sticker for the MG so we can get it back on the road once the nice weather hits! Not sure but I think I can buy the sticker on line? I’ll have to check into that soon I guess! It’ll be nice to get out in the MG again for some “top down” cruising with the feel of the wind in my hair again after such a long winter and lock down period! Well, at least with the wind in Carole’s hair if not mine! LOL!

I think that’s about all I have for this week folks!

Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now … Greg

PS: Something To Think About>
A humorist is a man who feels bad but feels good about it!

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