The Squamidian Report – Mar. 9 /19
 
Issue #876

Including:
From Lorne
From Russ
The Ontarion

Hi All,

A little story about purchasing a GPS unit…..

Most modern vehicles have a built in GPS navigation unit. None of our vehicles do because they are all too old, made before that kind of thing was standard. Now, as far as finding our way around, we don’t need one. Heck, most of any of us could drive from Vancouver to Halifax without ever looking at a map, just follow the highway signs. Easy. Where navigational aids are quite helpful is when trying to find your way around in a big city, like Vancouver. GPS’s work great for that, as do good old fashion maps. But maps are big and cumbersome and awkward to use, fold, and put away again. So, we thought it might be both fun and useful to get ourselves a nice shinny new GPS unit. The decision was made because the local CTC had one in their weekly flyer for half price. At full price those things are too expensive to bother with but at such a great deal, why not.

We went into the store, flyer in hand, and asked a clerk where I might find said on-sale unit.  She took us over to a locked display cabinet where the GPS’s were stored. Turned out they had 1 in stock. Just 1. The flyer had said ‘special purchase’ but they only had 1. So, I cleaned them out of their 1 in stock, took it home and proceeded to open the pristine package and lay out the contents. Everything was there and unblemished, as it should be but you never know so its always good to check. Then I read the manual and as expected it advised charging the unit as well as going onto the maker’s web site and registering it. This was a Magellan 5620 LM5 and the manual gave a specific web address for registering the unit as well as for downloading and installing any map and firmware updates. The unit’s specs say that it comes with ‘lifetime free map and software updates’. Cool. However, I couldn’t access the required web page. It claimed that only certain versions of operating systems and web browsers could open the required pages. Interestingly, the versions were all OLD versions, not the current versions found on any current computer. Strange. So, I went to their main web site and poked around. For updates etc it kept looping me back to the pages I couldn’t go to. Then, I found a section referring to their updates that was rather interesting. It defined unit ‘lifetime’ as 3 years from date of manufacture, not date of purchase. Humm. Rather puzzling. So I plugged the GPS unit into my computer using its supplied USB cord and that let me peek at the on-board files. What I found was laughable, the youngest files were the map files and they were dated 2008. Thats 11 years ago. Therefore, the unit is considered beyond its lifetime and no longer eligible for updates, and has been out of the update period since 2011, 8 years ago. It was so old it couldn’t even be registered anymore.

Needless to say, I packed it back up and took it straight back to the store. They asked why I was bringing it back and when I explained, they really couldn’t argue with me. We simply got a refund and left it at that.

But, there is more to this story….

A dozen years or so ago I had purchased a somewhat similar GPS unit at the same CTC store. When I had taken it home and unpacked it, it didn’t work at all, wouldn’t turn on. Dead to the world so to speak. If memory serves (and it usually does), I had taken it straight back. That time not for a refund but to exchange it for a different unit. That unit second worked fine and we had it for a couple of years or so before it packed it in and until now never bothered thinking about such things. But taking it back had been a bit of an adventure. The woman behind the exchange counter had a reputation for giving customers a very hard time. And she lived up to the reputation. I had seen her in there many times before and had always dreaded any interactions with her, even if it was just to check out a purchase. So, when taking back that dead unit all those years ago, she had grilled me mercilessly as to who I was, why I bought it in the first place, why I wanted to return it and so on. I was probably quaking in my boots but I had held my ground and the unit was exchanged for the one that did work.

But that’s not the end of this story….

Fast forward to shortly after the gondola opened. We had started to recognize other ‘regular’ customers up there and there was one couple who were often enjoying their morning coffee when we would come in for ours, after our hike. We’d nod to them and eventually got talking to them and ended up getting to know them. They are the ones we have coffee with regularly. But get this, she is the woman who worked the return counter at the CTC store, the one who gave me the second degree. The one who scared the begeebers out of the customers. I recognized her and remembered her. Once we had gotten to know them I told her that story of the time I’d had the audacity to return a GPS. We all got a kick out of it and a good laugh. And happily for CTC customers, she had retired several years ago and has mellowed a bit since then. They have become quite good friends of ours and she still gets a kick out of me reminder her of how she could scare every customer within range, including me.

That wasn’t the end of the story either, this is….

I found a Garmin on sale a few days later and decided to give it a try. (And yes, we could use our smart phones as GPS units but we’re old and don’t do things that way). The reviews said these units worked great once you got past the frustrating software update process and past the not so intuitive interface. Turned out that was very true. The update process drove me nuts and the online help was of little help at all. I did get it to do its thing eventually but by then I’d learn a few more choice curse words. Once I figured out how to input locations and so on my stress levels settled down and now I can find my way home, or could if I were to go somewhere and not remember where I lived or some such silly thing.
And that, finally, is the end of this story.

By the way, don’t forget that tonight is when we go back to Daylight Saving Time. So, ‘spring forward’ with those clocks.
doug
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From Lorne

Clocks in my abode have their own agenda. You know all about the reverse running clock on the kitchen wall. Well, the latest stunt being pulled is the time displayed on my computer. At first I noticed it was about 10 minutes fast.  Then more recently, it is showing a time about 7 minutes late.  My watch has remained at the more reasonable time all through those dark winter months, on daylight saving time as well as the clock in my car. All through the confusion, I have almost never missed an appointment more often than normal. Next Tues, I need to catch a train on time. Going West.
Lorne
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From Russ


I'll never get another dog.

I’ve been reading a book about dogs and I’m half-way through it, but afraid to continue for fear of ‘breaking down’. We are all crazy about our dogs, and the authors of the book invite the reader to “Revel in the heartwarming, amusing, inspirational, and occasionally tearful stories about our best friends, and faithful companions – our dogs”.
The ‘family’ dogs that stand out in my fondest memories are: Pat, our Airedale, who helped ‘raise’ us five kids when we lived in Centreville. He was not only our soft, friendly, patient, tolerating pet, but also our ‘hero’ and protector. He’d fight-off any and all threats coming into ‘his’ yard, whether they be man or beast! One time he scared off a would be window peeper who’d snuck into our back yard one night with his telescope to spy on our pretty, 15 year-old girl maid whose second floor bedroom window faced onto the said yard. Pat must have heard something as he went to the back door and began growling, whereupon Pop let him out. There followed what sounded like a dog-fight; yelping, crying, loud growling – then silence. Pop was delighted with Pat’s ‘performance’ when he came in after he’d chased the intruder, with a piece of the man’s pants in his teeth! There is more to this story, but you’ve already heard it, so I’ll move on.
 
The next dog that is fondly imprinted in my memory is Pierre, a black, Standard Poodle who was not neutered, but should have been. At this time in my story I was married to Bobbie, was a Kitchener cop, and we were living on King Street, South in Waterloo. Our sons Mac and Greg were young guys whose main interests were girls, drum and bugle corps, and girls. They also were not neutered, but should have been.
I’m reminded as to ‘how’ we came to acquire Pierre; he was a gift from Sgt. Charlie Bignall, KPD, who had told me all about his dog, knowing I was thinking about getting another pet.
“He’s well-behaved, very friendly, sometimes maybe a little too friendly”
How so? I asked.
“He has this habit of ‘humping’ things and people and it’s embarrassing” explained the Sgt. And then he got real close to me and like in a near whisper he confided in me saying,
“You know my wife, she was from your village, she was a Losch girl – Vera, she likes to keep a real clean house, and whenever she’s down on her hands and knees scrubbing, he ‘humps’ her ‘vigorously’ – which scares her”.
“Sounds like an ideal dog for me” I chirped.

I talked it over with my wife (leaving out the ‘humping’ part), and she was most excited that we were to be given an expensive, purebred Standard Poodle for FREE! Next day I brought Pierre home and spent some time showing him around his ‘new place’. We got along just fine, but when Bobbie came home from work, he showed a definite dislike for her – by growling! It took a whole evening for him to feel comfortable with her – but in a few days they hit it off like ‘old-time pals’.

During weekdays Pierre was alone as the boys were in school, Bobbie at work, and me seconded to the Ontario Police College in Aylmer, where I     remained all week.
Dogs have nearly all the same emotions as us humans, except for maybe one – ‘revenge’. Right? You be the judge. Pierre was ‘house-broken’, and never did anything in our house until he found himself alone all day. I don’t remember who made the discovery, but for the first time, Pierre had left his ‘calling card’ right on the centre of the kitchen floor! The family was mortified! Who gets to clean the floor? Certainly not the boys, so it was left to poor Bobbie when she got home. And this wasn’t a ‘one-time thing’, he repeated this unusual behaviour each Monday. I’d leave for Aylmer on Sunday night to be on time for classes which started at 8:AM, Monday. He repeated his ‘thing’ every time I left and wouldn’t be home for a week. No amount of scolding seemed to matter. He always selected the same tile until it became so badly stained it had to be replaced!
“Bad dog!” Was it revenge? I can almost hear Pierre grumbling,
“You leave me alone – I’ll get even”.

When my secondment was over, I returned to my duties with KPD, and this allowed me to be home almost each night. Pierre stopped pooping on the kitchen floor. He “got his way” – he won!
About his habit of ‘humping’, he still continued and the friends the boys brought home found it very entertaining.
When we moved from Waterloo to our “dream home” in Nassagawaya Township near Milton so as to be closer to my job at Seneca College in Willowdale, Pierre had developed cancer and had to be put down. It was extremely heartbreaking, we wept openly and vowed we’d NEVER get another dog!
Oh yeah?
Please tune in next week for Part Two.
Russ.
 
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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everybody!
I’m in one of those moods again where I think back to when I was a kid on Floyd St with five of us living in a small story and a half house that my parents had built by a relative. His name was Clare Esbaugh and he was a brother of my mother’s sister’s husband whose name was Jerry Esbaugh and he had two other brothers one named Harold and another named Joe. I know that likely doesn’t mean anything if much to any of you Squamidian members but to me it is kind of interesting the follow the lineage of families that I’m related to either through blood or by marriage. There were also a couple of sisters in the Esbaugh family as well but they didn’t happen to extend as much notoriety as their brothers in and around the Twin Cities area. The brothers were trades people in their professions. Harold was a cement contractor, Clare was a general building contractor and Joe was also a cement contractor. Jerry became a plumber by trade and worked at Burns Meats with my father. I guess things haven’t changed much when it comes to taking advantage of family connections to help one along in life. My parents asked Clare to build a house for them and the one at 37 Floyd St was the result. With Clare building their house for them the result was at the time a discount price of what now seems to be a paltry amount. I think their total cost to erect that house was only $5,700.00. Of course to them at the time it was a large amount to take on as a mortgage and they looked forward to paying it off over a 25-year period.

I still remember the day when dad announced that their mortgage had reached it’s final payment and they had a party (corn roast) at my uncle Jerry’s place to celebrate the event. They had managed to pay off their house in just 20 years. They had built the house in 1952 and made their last payment in 1972! By today’s standards that was a very well executed feat! Most of the Esbaugh family members that were around my parent’s age have passed on now but I’m still reminded of the family connection when I see the green “Cross Country Ready-mix” trucks around KW area. Cross Country concrete company is owned I believe by Harold Esbaugh’s son and is a going concern to this day. The Esbaugh family is from St Clements Ontario and I believe they still have roots in that small community north west of Waterloo. It’s funny how such connections and memories can come to mind with the passing of a green truck with a familiar name on it. Just seeing one of those trucks stirs a flood of memories of that family connection.

The majority of my memories of course are associated with my uncle Jerry and aunt Thelma, my mother’s sister and their family of three kids. They lived in one of the houses built by Clare as well and they lived in Waterloo on what used to be the outskirts of the city. Their place was on a large lot with neighbour’s that were not too close by. Thus, most of our family gatherings were celebrated at the Esbaugh home for that reason. We could have our family parties and corn roasts in their back yard where Uncle Jerry had built a wonderful fire pit that would accommodate a large kettle of water in which to boil corncobs by the dozen. Every fall we would gather there and enjoy a fun filled evening with the parents having a few drinks and all of us having a huge fill of corn on the cob! Uncle Jerry and his brothers and sisters were musicians and were at one time almost famous for playing live on the radio. I believe it was a station in Kitchener by the call letters CKCR that later became CHYM. Of course Uncle Jerry would always have his guitar out for a family sing-along at these corn roasts and he had a terrific singing voice as well. Country music was the fare of the evening and Jerry was also a talented yodeler. We all had fun times at these events and I’m happy that I can still remember these parties with my family. The few times we’ve been able to join in with the Brubacher family have also stirred many fond memories of those days at Jerry and Thelma’s place. Thanks to Doug and the rest of the family for including us in your gatherings!

That’s about it for this week folks!
Thanks for the memories as Bob Hope used to sing!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now … Greg

PS: Something To Think About>
All the good times you’ve had at your family gatherings!
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Have a good one..
the doug
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