The Squamidian Report – July 6 / 19
Issue #893
Including:
From Lorne
From Russ
The Ontarion
Hi All,
We celebrated an anniversary of sorts this past Wednesday. It was
Olivia’s 100th. Up, she has now been up the gondola 100 times. Actually
more than that by now because the kids are here for a couple of weeks
and we take them up every day because its one of their favorite places.
She knows the kid’s trails and the other trails as well as all the fun
things in the play area. She rides the gondola cable cars like she’s
always done it, which, she has. Funny, but these kids take that for
granted. Its just always been there and has aways been ‘what you do’.
Kyra was a year younger than Olivia is now when that place opened so to
her its always been there as well. Kyra has had a bit of a head start
going up there, and has been up almost 240 times. An old veteran.
Anyway, Olivia’s not doing to bad given shes only 3 ½.
*
Some
of our readers have been enduring way too much rain over the last
several months or so. I envy them. As I’ve stated before, the west
coast has been very dry for the last several years. Our winters used to
be very wet, of late they are just damp. Spring rains used to go on
none stop for the whole month of February and then again for most of
June. We’ve had barley an inch or so of rain since January, no spring
rains at all. There have been side effects to not enough or no rain
that have slowly encroached into our lives and surroundings. Here are
some of them….
The forests no longer have that moist, inviting west coast smell.
No longer do great big banana slugs crawl around, we simply do not seen them anymore.
The moss that covered all cedar shake roofs and most shingle roofs has died and fallen off.
The moss that covered most exposed rock surfaces has turned a crunchy brown and is falling off.
Coastal plants like cedars and sala are dyeing or have died.
Wild fire is a major concern for everyone.
I can’t remember where I put my rain coat and so if it were to rain I’d have no idea where to find it.
doug
****
From Lorne
I made the big mistake of encouraging chipmunks to eat out of my hand.
Wasn't hard as I tossed a shelled peanut in their direction followed by
more as they came closer. Soon a brave chippy followed right up to my
hand. The next was to hold a nut in my open hand and lo and behold it
gleefully took it and ate it. Others were attracted and soon there was
a whole herd . The 1st one then chased all the others away, came back,
filled his cheeks, ran off some where to stash the nuts. While he was
gone, others came to beg. Upon his return, the others scattered away
allowing him to refill which he did as often I offered.
During this feasting, two others performed a violent act of sex, right
before my very eyes. They rolled as in a ball, humped, paused to eat,
rolled and humped again and again. Now chipmunks have a very short
gestation time like 20 minutes or something like that. Also, it takes
2,647 chippies to make a fur coat. I now have enough for one
sleeve and in a little while enough for the second. Won't be long
there will be enough for the whole coat.
The moral of the true story is - don't start ! I cant sit out anymore
without them jumping up on my knee, crawling up my pant legs, begging,
no demanding more handouts. They have tiny claws that feel strange to
my skin and although not intentionally, they have tried to eat my
fingers.
If my fingers allow, there could be a sequel.
Lorne
****
From Russ
Damned mosquitoes!!
It seems we have more of them than usual around here in Point Clark
this season. They bother us when we’re outside (as you’d expect), but
somehow get into my bedroom at night – buzzing around in the dark –
then silence – I know she has landed on me somewhere. I’ve no choice
but to wait until I feel that ‘sting’! I swat furiously at the spot –
did I get her? No! She’s still buzzing around my ears!
We’ve all experienced this annoying little ‘animal’, and her
“nasty, itching bite”. I thought I’d do a little research, so I Googled
her:
“Mosquitoes”, the insects that are universally hated the world over.
These pesky, disease-carrying pests make a living by sucking blood out
of just about anything that moves, including us.
Mosquitoes are the deadliest animals on earth.
They spread malaria, dengue fever, yellow fever, zika, west nyle virus, and encephalitis.
And when they bite our pet dogs, they cause ‘heartworm’ which is lethal to dogs.
Males live 5-6 months, females only 2-3 weeks (Thank God!)
Females ‘bite’ by lubricating their “serrated proboscis” and ‘drilling’ into the skin and injecting their syliva
which thins the blood enabling the pest to “suck out our life”.
Only females ‘bite’, and they do so to provide protein for their eggs.
When they are not carrying eggs, they live on nectar, same as males.
Some mosquitoes bite only birds, some only feed on reptiles and amphibians.
Females are larger than males, and only the ‘girls’ make that annoying mosquito sound.
They have been around since the dinosaurs, when they were 3 times
larger than today’s, and have evolved so well, there are now over 2,700
different species.
The word mosquito means ‘biting fly’.
They are slow flyers (only 1.5MPH), and are afraid of heights (25-40 feet Max.)
They are attracted to dark clothing and ‘smelly feet’!
They prefer women to men, and if given the choice – blonde’s. And
ladies, if you’re ovulating, don’t go outside during a full moon!
So there.
By your old Uncle Russ.
****
THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello everyone!
There was a time in my life when I was one of the busiest people in
Kitchener during this time of year. Not because of all the fires etc
that this summer heat brought on but because of the need for air
conditioning in people’s homes. You see, once I graduated from High
School I took an apprenticeship in refrigeration and air-conditioning
at Zehrs Markets in Kitchener. This training made me a very popular
person come air conditioning season! For the first four years I spent
in that trade, I was busy installing refrigeration equipment in new
Zehrs stores and learning how to diagnose problems with that equipment
and also how to repair those problems. At the four year mark I decided
to leave Zehrs and buy into a small refrigeration company called Martin
Refrigeration of Kitchener Ltd. It was owned by a fellow by the name of
Harvey Martin who occasionally worked with us at Zehrs when we got very
busy. He offered to sell me 26% of the shares in his one-man company
and I decided to take him up on his offer. I sold my new 1972 Corvette
and put the money into his business. Well, that lasted about one year
and one day when I reported for work at his house which doubled as the
company office, I discovered that he had taken his wife and four kids
and left town! I was of course in shock and at a loss as to what to do!
I tried through a lawyer to do something about his disappearance but
was told that since Harvey owned the majority of the company shares
that I didn’t have a leg to stand on when it came to recovering any
financial loss he might have caused me. So, I went to work for another
refrigeration company for about 6 months and one day was advised by a
friend of mine who worked for the Kitchener Fire Dept to give working
for a fire department a try. I found out that Waterloo Fire was opening
a new station and was hiring. So, I applied for the fire dept in
Waterloo and got hired within a few months. Once on WFD, I got settled
in there and for something to do on my four days off I decided to make
use of my air-conditioning skills. I set up a small business doing
residential air-conditioning. I really had only done a small amount of
this end of the cooling business since most of my trade training was in
the commercial refrigeration end of things. However, it didn’t take
long before I became quite proficient at the residential end of things.
Most of the fire fighters I worked with and knew had some sort of
business to do on the side since we worked a shift that was four days
on and then four days off. This afforded us quite a bit of time to do
side jobs. To sit at home would only be quite boring as you could well
imagine! Plus, when you’re a young guy with a new family the extra
money came in quite handy indeed! SO, getting back to my original
statement about being a popular guy in the summer time, you can imagine
how busy I became during the cooling season! It didn’t take long to
have the word spread about my little air-conditioning business. Most
summers I spent answering calls for help with broken down home AC
systems as well as installing new systems in homes belonging to
friends, neighbours and friends of neighbours etc etc! This lasted for
about 20 of my 30 years on the Fire Department. After so many years of
doing two jobs (both fire and AC work) I decided to phase out the AC
work and spend more time with my wife and son just doing family things.
Not that we never spent time together during my busy years but after so
many years of double duty, it was just time to calm things down!
When I finally did retire, one of the most asked questions I had put to
me was “So, what are you doing now that you’re retired?” to which I
readily answered “NOTHING, I’m retired you know!” Retirement means that
your working years should be at an end, not time to find another job! I
was fortunate enough to have had a good pension plan while on the Fire
Department and as things turned out there was no need for me to go back
to work upon my retirement! So now my part time job is trying to pick
the winning Lotto Numbers each week! LOL! So far, it’s still a guessing
game with no great reward but like I always say, you can’t win if you
don’t have a ticket! So I’ll just have to keep on trying and who knows,
one of these days I may just hit the big one! Wouldn’t that be nice?
Then I really could retire! Wait a minute, I really am retired already!
Oh well, this makes for good reading once a week anyway, I hope!
It’s fun to write about life’s ventures and this is just one of them! I
hope you find these stories entertaining if nothing else!
I’m starting to sound like Uncle Russ! That can’t be all bad, can it?
That’s about it for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next time in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now … Greg
PS: Something To Think About>
Too many folks go through life running from something that isn’t after them.
****
Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.
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