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The Squamidian Report – Oct. 27 / 18
Issue #857 Including: From Al From Russ From Lorne The Ontarion Hi All, We’ve been taking every opportunity to get out on the bike lately, seeing as how the riding season will soon be coming to an end. And to that end, we’ve been riding to the gondola each morning. Its only a short 15 or 20 minute ride so it doesn’t really matter that it can be a bit on the cooler side in the morning. Besides, with the bike we get ‘preferred’ parking, that being we park on the concrete motorcycle parking pad. If we went in the car we’d have to park in the gravel parking lot along with all the lowly riffraff. Don’t like doing that if it can be avoided. So, in order to be on the bike as much as possible, we were riding to the gondola last Tuesday morning. It was a bit chilly and traffic was light so I was just putting along at the posted speed, taking my time enjoying the ride and the morning. As we rode up the hill toward the Chief (that big granite monolith) we spotted a pair of base jumpers descending under their high tech square wing parachutes. This is quite common around here, jumpers jump off the Chief on a regular basis, usually in the morning before the winds pick up. This is what set up a rather unusual, ‘almost’ close call for us on the bike. Base jumping off the Chief is not exactly a safe sport. We loose one or two per year, some them being lucky enough to get hung up part way down the cliff on a rock protrusion or tree when the winds blow them back against the 2000 ft cliff. They are usually successfully rescued by the local S&R. Others aren’t so lucky and end up dead when their chutes fail or they hit the hydro wires or some other unforgiving obstacle. In the case of last Tuesday, the ‘almost’ close call would have been a lot closer had I been riding just a bit faster. We spotted the pair coming down, one just ahead of the other. They seemed to be trying for the Chief’s parking lot but were too high and so headed out over the highway toward the rocks and trees on the west side of the road to loose more altitude before turning back toward the parking lot. They misjudged and ended up loosing too much height and could no longer make the lot. The first jumper came down right in front of us in our lane on the highway. I was already slowing down even further and so there was no risk of hitting her as I could easily swerve but I was concerned about the chute and lines. If we were to get snagged or tangled up in any of that before getting stopped it would not have been good at all. However, when the jumper hit the highway lane she immediately dove for the shoulder of the road and then pulled her chute and lines in after her. I have no idea where the second jumper landed as my attention was taken with what was playing out in front of us. Luckily, traffic was light so I could slow down quickly without risk of being rear ended by following vehicles, and luckily, because I had not been booting it up the hill we had a second or so of reaction space. Last glance I had was of the jumpers off to the side of the highway, alive and assumably none the worse for wear. The episode gave us an interesting story to tell to our friends, and we were quite relieved not to have taken out a jumper with our bike, or having been taken out by a jumper while on our bike, either of which would have been rather out of the ordinary. Oh, in case you are wondering, there is no point in reporting base jumpers jumping off the Chief as they usually have a get-away vehicle parked in the parking lot and are loaded up and long gone before a cop could ever get there to investigate, assuming they would even bother to try which is unlikely given the RCMP around here don’t seen to care all that much. doug
**** From Al The following is Al's submission to the Squid. The picture shows him with the last few mountain ash berries. The Birds Last weekend Carol & I went to the Wiarton house to prepare things for winter. The first thing I always do upon arriving there is to "tour the estate" and make sure everything is as it should be. As soon as I went into the back yard I noticed immediately that the 3 mountain ash trees were almost completely denuded of their berries (see the picture of me with the last of the berries). When I was up a few weeks ago the trees were laden down with many clumps of 30 to 40 berries. THE BIRDS HAD BEEN HERE! Over the years Mom & I had seen large flocks of 40 to 50 different types of these avian creatures landing in at one time. They gorge themselves and spend the night before moving on. Similar to humans travelling south for the winter! The thing is, if there has been a light to medium frost the berries begin to ferment. The results are hilarious. The birds will actually fall out of the trees and have animated conversations on the ground as to what is going on. Some will start running across the yard flapping their wings like a Lancaster bomber trying to get airborne only to summersault or run out of runway into the field. Others will try to enter the huge cedar hedge at the back of the property to "sleep it off". Here they are chased off by the year round birds who have condos there. As all this was going on Mom and I would join the activities by having a cold beer on the deck. Cheap entertainment and no harm seems to come to the birds as they are gone early the next morning. Next year is a new crop of berries and I hope I don't miss the feeding. I wonder if birds get hangovers? Al
 **** From Russ On what would have been our 65th Wedding Anniversary, October 23rd, I was returning home from a bike ride at about 9:30AM, and as I approached my driveway I saw a large black dog sniffing around my mail box. The animal was ‘off leash’, but accompanied by a man age about 60, wearing a red coat and straw hat. When I was within 30 feet of the dog, it suddenly darted toward me. My first thought was he just wanted to ‘sniff’ my leg as most dogs do, but instead, it bit me! “He bit me!”, I exclaimed. I was very surprised and somewhat shocked, and surprisingly, it didn’t hurt much (at that moment), and when I lifted my pantleg I saw only two holes in my right calf. There was no blood flowing from the puncture wounds (at that time). The man said, “I’m sorry”, several times. “I don’t know what got into him....he never bites” I felt like saying, “He’s not on a leash...and I’m going to sue you!” but I didn’t. “I better get in and put something on this” I said, because I was very near my house. By the time I got into my kitchen, blood had run down my leg, soaking my white socks and white sneakers. “This is going to take more than a few band aids”, I thought. I tried phoning my son, Greg in Ripley, but there was no answer. Next, I phoned my good friend and neighbour, Don Fischer who kindly drove me to the Emergency Department of Kincardine hospital. Because of all the blood, I was given almost immediate attention. The doctor(s) in attendance, found there were two fairly deep puncture wounds, made by the ‘incisors’, and two less deep punctures made by the dog’s teeth in the lower jaw. Blood was flowing freely from all four punctures, which they said, was a good thing, as it helped “cleans the wounds”. My instructions were to keep the leg elevated, keep washing the wounds to avoid infection, not to bike-ride, and to take the pills prescribed as directed. That’s how I spent the rest of Tuesday, and all day Wednesday. Thursday morning I get a call from my doctors, office.... “Go to the ER immediately for management of ‘elevated levels of Potassium’”. “Do I need a Requisition?” I asked. “No. Tell them in the ER that Doctor Soong ‘has ordered the tests’ to be done immediately”. This is the second time my doctor was concerned about the very high levels of potassium in my blood, well, just as before, his alarm was ill founded, as after many tests, the Emergency Room doctor reported that “I have good news! Your potassium levels are NOT too high, your heart is working well, you DON’T have high blood pressure (as suspected), and just as soon as we can disconnect all these machines, you can go home!” “I don’t know whether to feel angry or relieved”, I said “and who ‘boobed’?” “Sometimes when taking blood tests, the needle gives a ‘false reading’. “Why does that scare me?” I asked “Anger is harmful, just feel relieved that you’re in ‘excellent health” My anger subsided, and now I feel relief about being given a thorough ‘Medical Exam’ for FREE! My target is to live to be 100 years young....and I hope all the Squamidians will out-live me! Wee-oh! Russ.
PS I Googled “Bouvier” It’s a working dog breed, originating in Flanders, Belgium: Does general farm work including cattle droving, sheep herding, cart pulling and nowadays as guard dogs and police dogs. This one was a male. Height > 2feet 4 inches at the shoulders Weight > 54 kgs. “The most honest dog breed Review you’ll ever find about Bouvier temperament, personality, and behaviour” “Then, why did he bite me?” (just lucky, I guess) PPS The owner of the dog, accepts full responsibility; the dog has had all his “shots”, and the man turned out to be a “Summer neighbour”, and he lives just a few blocks further East on my street. He’s a nice guy, I knew his dad (who passed away 10 yrs ago), I don’t think I’ll get ‘rabies’, nor blood-poisoning, and I think I made a good friend....they’re scarce up here in Point Clark. ****
From Lorne For some time, maybe a month, I have had a bad cough. So finely last Monday, I went to the doctor. This should be a real pleasure because she looks to be about 18, is oriental and is very you know what. Trouble is I'm close to 94. Too big an age gap, wouldn't you say? She prescribed a very potent anti something with serious warnings. 'Opioid can lead to death, addiction, physical dependence, life threatening breathing problems, reduced blood pressure and avoid getting pregnant, etc. But the side effects are where the fun begins because they seem to be working. Reduced mental abilities, risks of falls, irregular heartbeat, problems sleeping, vision problems, erectile dysfunction, severe constipation. The last 2 I can vouch for. The stuff really stood up well on those. For constipation, I picked up a bottle of prune juice at Zehr's, a swig or 2 and 'bingo'. Not needing any more, I tried to return the rest but to my dismay, I'm stuck with all that brown prune juice. I wonder if a bit of rum or vodka would help. One more Opioid for to-morrow, then I'm done. I mean it's done. The prescription that is. Lorne
**** THE ONTARION REPORT Hello everyone! Well, the yanks are at it again eh? Their president has inspired someone in the New York area to send pipe bombs through the mail to critics of Trump! I cant say that it’s a plan by Trump to have this happen but his big mouth has gotten someone over reacting to his racist/sexist anti-news comments. So far the FBI has been able to disarm the devices and they have a good handle on the bomber. They don’t know who the person sending these bombs out is but they are sure they are all coming from the same person. He or she is making the bombs and packaging them in an identical manner so they are quite sure that it’s just one person making and mailing them out! Robert DeNiro is the latest target of the bomber but thank goodness none of them have detonated before they were found at their destinations! Scary stuff when people start doing this sort of thing. If Trump keeps shooting his mouth off he’s going to start a new American Civil War! Lets hope he smartens up before anything like that happens! I’m surprised someone hasn’t tried to assassinate him already! He’s made a lot enemies even though he’s rallied up a huge mass of “red necks” that think like him too and now they think they need to take action against his rivals! Oh well, there’s no figuring American politics! *
Well,
back at home here in Ontario Carole and I spent the day working outside
again to get the place ready for winter. I cut down all the hostas (not
sure of the spelling) in the front gardens while Carole cut the lawn
for me! She did a very good job indeed and was much quicker than I have
been at it this past summer season. I have had to take regular breaks
when cutting the lawn just because I tend to get winded and out of
energy quite easily these days. Oh well I still manage to do the job
most times! When you are a homeowner the outside and inside work never
seems to end! I also picked up Adam’s little 4x6 foot trailer today
from the place where he stores it. I needed it to be able to haul the
snow blower to the service shop. It’s 12 years old I found out by the
people there checking the serial number. I wasn’t sure just when I
bought it and as it turns out it was in 2006. The latest model that
matches the one I have has changed a bit as they now have two triggers
on the handles that allow you to stop either one wheel or the other so
the blower turns corners more easily than the one I have. The one I
have has to be slugged by the operator to make any turn so the new one
has a real advantage in that respect!The price hasn’t changed since I bought my TORO; it’s still listed at $1699.00 so that’s a good thing! I didn’t pay that price but that was the list price on it when I bought it. I managed to pick it up on sale at Home Depot in Waterloo for only $1100.00 so It was quite a good buy at the time! You don’t find that much of a discount very often these days! They told me that they would make it look and run like new when they get finished with it. I sure hope they do as it was getting a little out of sorts! They will adjust the forward and backward running as well as replace the scraping blade and do an overall clean up and greasing etc on the parts that need it! I’m sure it will cost me a hundred or more when all is said and done but it’s been a long time coming! I’ll be happy to have it back all fixed up and like new again! Doug and I both have the same model Toro’s and have both been very happy with their performance since new! In my opinion the Toro is the best snow blower on the market! I’ve had several blowers over the years and none has come even close to performing like the Toro! I’ll be happy to have it back in good working order for the coming winter season. *
I’m
sure you all heard about the American Lotto and how huge the jackpot
rose to these past several months! Well, if you didn’t hear, it reached
the one and a half BILLION mark! People were lining up for blocks and
blocks to buy tickets on the chance of winning that much money for a
two-dollar ticket! When it was all over this past week the winner was
one person in either North or South Carolina, I’m not sure which. It’s
hard to fathom such a huge amount going to one person! Just what would
you do if you were suddenly a billionaire? I’m not sure what I would do
but it would be fun to try!Well folks, that’s about all I have for this week! Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next time in The Ontarion Report! Bye for now … Greg
PS: Something to Think About>,Curiosity is the only intelligence test, which tells what one may become as well as what one is! ****
Have a good one.. the doug The Fine Print! The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such. |