The Squamidian Report – Nov. 3 / 18
 
Issue #858

Including:
From Russ
The Ontarion

Hi All,

This year I was able to avoid the predicament I found myself in last year. You see, last year I ended up putting the motorcycle away dirty. (The bike being dirty, not me that I know of, in case you were wondering). The end of my riding season last year came upon me a bit earlier than expected as the weather changed a few days ahead of what the forecast was calling for and that left me with having to choose between putting the bike away dirty but dry, or putting it away clean but damp. I chose dirty and dry. If I’d have washed it I’d have had to take it out for a run in order to be sure all the water was blown or heated away but being that the weather had unexpectedly turned wet, taking the bike back out after a wash and shine would have just made it wet again as well as dirty, again. If I had washed it and then simply hand dried it, it would have still been wet in some of the areas that can’t be hand dried, like inside the exhaust system, in those little impossible to reach crevices around the engine and so on. It was already dirty but dry and thats how she was put away. Parked up against the back wall of the garage, covered up and left alone, lonely and sad until riding season would come again in March.

This year I was able to give her a good wash and shine and still have a dry day to take her for that last toot of the season in order to be sure she was good and dry and to top up the tank as well as add the recommended fuel stabilizer.

So, last Saturday we mounted up and rode down to Porteau Cove. It was supposed to be nice and sunny but shades of memories of last year, a weather front was moving in. The temperament was unable to reach the comfort zone and the winds were buffeting. When we got to Porteau there were huge waves, topped with white-caps breaking onto the rocks. As well, there were a dozen or so scuba divers bobbing around, being blown back toward shore. Porteau is a popular diving location and divers don’t seem to mind the weather, I guess once they are under water it really doesn’t make much difference. Anyway, we rode to there, then back up to Squamish and stopped at the gas station where I poured some stabilizer into the tank and then topped it up with fuel. Then we headed back up the hill to home where I parked the bike against the back wall of the garage.

Thats a sad thing to do. It rather forcefully drives home the fact the my riding season is probably over for this year. I say ‘probably’ because there is always the faint chance that a nice day will pop up between now and when my insurance expires in another few days but thats unlikely give that I’d want the roads to be dry. This time of year wet roads means wet leaves and wet leaves are a major danger for riders. They can be very slippery, like splops of grease all over the road, not good at all when on two wheels. Weather very seldom changes unexpectedly for the better. Not saying our weather has turned ‘bad’, just that its turned cooler and wetter and thats no fun on a bike. At my age, I prefer to be comfortable. I don’t have to be out there on two wheels unless I want to be.

It wasn’t a great riding season right from the beginning this time round. Winter didn’t want to give up, spring lingered too long and then when summer hit, it hit hot and dry with uncomfortable amounts of forest fire smoke along with ridiculous amounts of frenzied tourist traffic congestion. Every planned day trip or longer trip didn’t happen and suddenly summer was over. We had an incredible October but the nights were just cold enough to make crossing any of the mountain passes on a bike less that advisable. Now its November and she is parked, looking all sad and dejected again. I only managed to ride about 12,000 kilometers this year. Thats the shortest amount of riding I’ve done in a long time. Oh well, as they say, there’s always next year. But for me, putting the bike away for the winter is not a nice thought at all, its so ‘final’, so ‘resigned’. And this time is especially hard because it means that the next time I ride that bike I will be in my 70’s. That alone is a disturbing thought.
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We all know this past Wednesday was Halloween. I’ve mentioned this before but I’ll do it again, Halloween is a very big deal out here. Bigger than Christmas in many ways. I guess thats because while Christmas has, or is supposed to have, meaning for specific cultures or segments of the population, and those segments being in the minority in coastal BC, Halloween can be observed right across cultural lines. That makes the retailers very happy and they spare no effort in milking every cent out of as many participants as they can. The lead-up has decorating and parties and all sorts of silly things. There is the usual door to door trick-or-treating although that is slowly thinning down in favor of house or block parties. Fireworks are everywhere, blasting away from just after dark until whoever is shooting them off runs out of ammunition.

The sad thing is, the instant Halloween is over, out come the Christmas advertisings on TV and in the stores. The greed that fuels the commercialism can’t be bothered to wait until after Remembrance Day because there is no profit to be made by remembering. Greed seems to be the universal constant. Sad indeed.

And lastly, don’t forget to turn your clocks back tonight, back to Daylight Standard Time. Personally I wish they’d leave the time set to Daylight Savings Time as that seems to fit the actual cycle of light and dark better, and its been proven that vehicle crashes go way up during the week following the change in either direction. When we get back to summer time time next spring, lets leave it there.

doug
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From Russ

You may remember my last column:
Brubacher Bitten By a Black, Bouvier “Bugger”, owned by Bob Burdet.
I’m slowly healing. But, still Bandaging, Bandaging, Bandaging. Bummer!
 
Now, let me take you way back to September 11, 1961:
I’d been on the Kitchener Police Force since 1957, 4 years, and I’m finally getting some “In-Service-Training”. The OPP College was located, of all places, in the “Snake-pit” area, at the foot of Jarvis Street, on Sherbourne Street in the fair city of Toronto. What a place to house and train a rowdy bunch of testosterone-loaded Rookie cops! At that time the place was running over with prostitutes!
But, in this issue of the Squamidian, I won’t touch on that aspect of the adventure, but instead focus on the actual classroom experience.
Classes started at 7:45AM, and went until 4:30PM, with a one-half hour lunch-break, at which time a “gut wagon” arrived on the parade square. After eating gut-bombs washed down with coffee, we’re back in class.
 
Sgt. Cresswell, whose specialty was “Cruelty to Animals”, also taught us all about the organization of the OPP. Sort of like a “commercial”.
But a man who really stuck out was Inspector A.H. Bird. He had a routine from which he never varied. We were seated as he rushed in, and because of his high Rank, we all stood at attention until given permission to take our seats. Permission was withheld until he removed his coat, hung it on a pole; removed his white scarf, hung it over the coat; removed his cap(the peak of which was covered in “scramble eggs”, after all he IS an Inspector!), placed it carefully on his desk; wiped his brow with a white cloth handkerchief, and said, “Sit”.
He always looked a if he were “about to explode”. His face was round, red, and flushed. He had black, bulging, angry eyes; slick, black Military-style haircut. He frequently mopped his whole face. Looking back, now I think he was “out of his league”. I think it was all nerves.  He was scared.
His subjects, however, were extremely valuable...I still have all my notes from his classes.
On the final day of the course, he cracked his first and only smile, when he said, “They call me Smiley”.
Some say, he married Rank. Probably true. He married the daughter of the Commissioner of the OPP. (that’ll do it)
 
Respectfully submitted by Constable #20, KPD R.G. Brubacher.
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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello Everyone!
It’s now November and that means the onset of the snow season around here! I’m sure you are all looking forward to the lovely white stuff arriving soon. You’ll all be shoveling or blowing the snow off your walkways and driveways before the end of this month most likely. I’m actually looking forward to doing that myself this winter as I had to spend most of last winter in the hospital and could only watch the winter through the windows of St Mary’s. Not that I’m complaining, just looking back on the winter of 2017/18. It’ll actually be fun to get out and follow my Toro along the walkways this winter. I’m still waiting for a call from the repair shop to say I can pick up my Toro after it’s one and only tune up in 12 years! LOL! I guess I should have taken it in to the Toro doctor’s shop long before this but oh well, it’s in there now and will come home looking and running like it did when it was new! I hope it will start easily after this trip to the small engine specialists shop. I couldn’t get it to start with the manual pull start for several years now and had to resort to using the electric start function to get it going. They say that the Toro blowers and mowers should start first pull every time but I guess when you let them go for 12 years without a tune up you can’t expect that to be true. Hopefully this visit to the service shop will do the trick and it’ll be much easier to start!
*
Since I have been in the recuperation mode for the past year I haven’t been all that active. However I’m feeling much more like my old self now and have been getting back to doing a bit more effort wise. I’ve started to work in my little basement wood shop over the past few weeks and am working on amassing a collection of wooden toys that I make down there. I intend to have a good number of toys finished by spring and am looking forward to having my first toy sale on the driveway come spring. I of course will have to wait for the first warm sunny weekend to do so but this project will give me something to work for over the winter. So far I’ve only got about a dozen toys finished but I intend to produce at least one toy per day of work down in the shop. I’m sure I can manage that over the winter. I’m looking on line for ideas of what to make for my toy collection. So far I’ve made a few race cars, a tractor, a train, a logging truck, a pick up truck loaded with lumber, and two helicopters. I’m sure I’ll come up with more ideas over the winter. I don’t want to get too complicated with my designs. I want to keep the toys simple so they appeal to the younger generation. You know, the type of toys that have little people that can be taken out of the cars and other forms of transportation. I figure this will stimulate the imaginations of the young kids that will play with them! I’m not painting the toys and figure that if parents want the toys colored they can have fun with their kids painting the toys together. Besides, it’s easier on me not to have to paint them. This hobby will become an interesting time for sure. So far it’s been a lot of fun just to make a few different toys and I’m sure it will continue to do so. There’s a guy at the St Jacob’s Farmer’s Market that has a booth where he sells his wooden toys. I thought I’d take a run up and take some photos of his line up of toys for some ideas to add to my collection. I went up last week to do so but when I got there he had closed up his display because it was raining out. Oh well, I’m sure he’ll be there on the next sunny day, if there is one! LOL!

If I remember correctly, his collection is rather complicated. He has great detail in his toys but at least looking over his array of toys will give me some ideas. Maybe I can simplify the toys he makes when I copy them. I don’t want to get into too many moving parts on my toys as that just makes it more time consuming and less fun to make! It’ll be interesting to see how this hobby turns out. By spring, I should have quite a good number of toys for the little ones to choose from. Hopefully my display will attract lots of loving grandparents who wish to buy for their little grandchildren! I think the cars in the collection will be one of the more popular items, as they are fun even for me to push around the floor! I’m trying to make toy vehicles that role easily like the “Dinky” toys I used to play with when I was a kid many years ago. I specifically remember a burgundy pick up truck that I had that was the best “roller” of the bunch. I could always out run any of my brother’s toy vehicles with that little truck and I’ve never forgotten it! Even nowadays when I see Dinky Toys in places like Wal-Mart I look for that little truck but haven’t seen anything like it since. Some day I’ll find one and I’ll be sure to purchase it when I do! Maybe my passion for pick up trucks as an adult came from my love for that very toy as a kid! You never know! I think that is exactly why I like pickup trucks now that I think of it. I’ve always loved pickup trucks and some day will own another one. I’m not into the big ones that have four doors and huge beds on the back like most of the ones you see on the roads these days. I like the two door conventional cab type that have what they call a “short box” and are preferably four wheel drive systems. They look cooler in my estimation and I like the fact that they sit high up on their suspension. Riding in an elevated vehicle like that makes me feel safer in the traffic since you get a better view of what’s happening around you as you drive. Just my opinion I guess. Some day I’ll own another one and be back in my glory as a pickup driver! Right now we have enough vehicles so my driveway is full. Guess I’ll just have to wait for the right time and place to have another one!

I think that’s about all I have to say for this week!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next time in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now … Greg
PS: Something To Think About>
It’s that time again when we should all be putting new batteries in our smoke detectors and carbon monoxide devices. Do it now while it’s fresh in our minds!

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Have a good one..
the doug
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