The Squamidian Report – Mar. 24 / 18
Issue #826
Including:
From Lorne
From Russ
From Sus
The Ontarion
Hi All,
Were is everyone else? You know, the ones who wanted to continue
receiving this letter and in order to do so agreed to contribute the
occasional story once in a while. We have had some pretty nice columns
from 'The Brothers Brubacher' as well as from Nova Scotia Sus, Karl in
Australia and contributions from Maggie and Rosy, as well as those
great Ontarions from Greg. But nothing but silence from those others.
Very mystifying indeed.
*
Now
this is kind of cool, for me at least.... I've been playing around with
this Logic Pro recording software. Firstly because its fun to do and
secondly so that I don't forget how to use it by letting too much time
slip by causing me to forget how. Frustratingly I don't have any new
original material at hand right now but there is an endless trove of
other people compositions out there to play around with, just like I
did a couple of weeks ago with that 'If I Were Free' folk song. This is
a bit of a digression because where I'm going with this is that the
last time we were down at Ryan's place he showed me a couple of mics he
had picked up in Europe some time back. He has a rather impressive
collection of mics and has not had any opportunities to use these units
and didn't really expect to need them for some time. His suggestion was
that I take them home with me with the intentions of trying them in
order to compare them with both each other and with his Rode 2000 mic
that I've been using all along.
So, I brought them home and they sat here waiting for a window of
recording opportunity and that happened the other day when 'The Wife'
was out for a few hours. I dug out an old Kris Kristofferson song
called 'Help Me Make It Through The Night' and proceeded to figure out
an arrangement etc that would work for me. Once I'd laid down some
guitar tracks I then recorded the melody 3 times, each using a
different mic and each as similar to the first as possible. The results
were interesting. I hadn't figured my old deaf ears would be able to
hear any differences but they could (these are all high quality
recording mics, not stage mics). Not through my cheap desk top computer
speakers but through my headphones. The differences are very subtle and
for me difficult to describe but they are there. Each mic produces its
own sound. A tiny bit brighter, or a tiny bit more gentle and so on.
None sounded better that the other, just a smidge different.
Once those 3 separate but as identical as possible melodies were
recorded I added some harmonies using various mics just to complete the
recording. The harmonies weren't for comparison purposes, but simply to
round out the song. Then I was able to mute any of the lead tracks as I
listened to comparisons of how each sounded, stand alone or with the
full recorded song. There are therefore 3 almost identical versions of
the same number with the only differences being the differences
resulting from the different mics. Cool. However, it makes for an
interesting experiment for me but has no real practical purpose at my
level of recording and mixing technical ability, but fun to do. The
resultant recorded song is simply using one of those lead tracks. I
chose the one that seemed to fit the song best but any would work just
as well. I won't even tell you which one it is because it really
doesn't matter. If you'd like to here my version of that song just
follow this link. Again, the uploaded version is simply a low
resolution MP3 file suitable for the Internet. And like any music on
the Internet, musical clarity is usually much better through headphones
than over computer speakers which unless you have some pretty good
ones, are pretty crappy.
http://www.thedougsite.net/Songs/Covers/Help%20Me%20Make%20It.mp3
doug
****
From Lorne
Brother Russel's account of smells and what brings them back in memory,
reminded me of the smell of the old frame school in Bridgeport.
There were many smells but the one most memorable was in the small
cloak room under the 2 stairways, one for the girls and one for the
boys. Both stairs led to a common level at the top creating the small
room below. Our wet rubber boots, outer socks and clothing were kept in
the tiny room as well as all our lunches. One day while I sat in this
cell eating a cook cheese sandwich, a kid comes in, grabs my hunk
of stuff and cries "you thief, that's my lunch" I still think he
was wrong but I went without a lunch. Recently upon reading an
interesting book on Bridgeport back then, I came to the part
about the old school and the cloak room under the stairs, the smell of
wet mitts, socks, boots and sandwiches and that smell came back to me
so vividly.
Lorne
****
From Russ
When I said I was thinking about writing my next essay on the subject
of confessions I was warned by at least one of our readers that “It
could be dangerous”, but if you are agreeable, here it is:
Gage Canadian Dictionary > “confession” = acknowledgement; admission; owning up; admission of guilt......
Some Topics I might explore:
“confession of sin”.....(Nope! Wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole!)
“judicial confessions”.....(Much too complicated)
“confessions of dangerous/unlawful acts as a police officer”
“confessions of secret desires” (Oh, oh, this could be dangerous!)
Let’s start with the things I was guilty of as a cop; I confess I was
guilty of “enforcing the law”, all the laws on the books , including
Federal; Provincial, and Municipal. I was also guilty of “breaking the
law”.
“What, you broke the law and you’re a cop!?” Some of my closest
relatives never forgave me for enforcing the law, but I NEVER forgave
myself for breaking the law.
Most of my “crimes” were guilt by association (party to an offence),
that is, I was lead into the offence by following a “superior in rank”.
Some, I can blame only myself, such as: “assault with a weapon”;
“dangerous use of a firearm”; “careless use of a firearm”, and worst of
all, “perjury”. (Note: for details of these shameful admissions, see;
Memoirs of a 50’s Cop, Revised Edition).
I was never charged with any of these crimes, or I’d be typing this essay from a prison cell!! (All thanks be to God)
On lighter note, I confess/admit I no longer can; drive a car; dance a
jig; stand on one leg....or even two; stand on tip-toe; sit very long;
eat a late meal; drink coffee after 4PM; trim my own toe-nails (or
anybody else’s).
OK....I hate meetings (clubs, church, any group more that 4 persons)
OK....I own up to; liking recognition; protecting reputation (duh); being snobbish; judgmental; good-looking (duh)
OK....I admit I’m guilty of; loving my family; hating Premier Kathleen
Wynne, and “Patsy” PM Justin Trudeau; over-eating; cheating a bit here
& there; babying myself; going to bed too early; constant
bathing/washing; spending too much $ at Timmy’s; reading ANYTHING when
suffering from “cabin fever”; thinking Doug will accept this drivel as
suitable stuff for the Great Squamidian.
If there is a “Part Two”, it will be about “secret desires”
In shame,
Uncle Russ.
****
From Sus
I found it quite interesting reading about Lester Zehr who started all
the Zehr's market grocery stores in south western Ontario. Just
recently there was an article in our weekly newspaper about a man named
Zehr from Ontario, who has moved to our area with his family to start
up a grocery market. The article said he was from a grocery
retail background and the reason for moving to our area had to do with
the many Mennonites who have settled here. I wondered if he could
be from Lester's family. I don't have the article anymore because
I needed the paper for starting my fire this morning. Now I
regret burning the paper. So I don't have more information.
I'm sure the paper will do another article about him since he's only
prepared the site for his building up till now.
We just had another nor'easter storm come through bringing about
15cm. March is turning out to be very wintery. The strange
thing about this storm is we had lightning and thunder with heavy snow
coming down. One brilliant flash startled me while making lunch
and then loud thunder. Not usual to have a thunder storm in
winter?
Sus
****
THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello everyone!
Well, it’s been another week and with apparent constant improvement in
how I’m feeling. I had my first re-assessment at St Mary’s Heart Clinic
Thursday and to quote the doctor that checked the results of all my
tests he said, “I’m impressed!” He told me that everything is
improving, even my kidney function. That was my big concern but he did
say that in the future I’ll likely need more attention to the kidney
problem but for now things are looking better than they have in a while
and that’s good news! Anyway, just a few words to let you know that
things are looking up! Now if only the weather would improve! Sunshine
is nice but we need the temps to warm up to a comfortable level! LOL!
*
I
suppose I’ve mentioned the lovely variety of birds that we’ve been
attracting to our back yard over the past 18 years. It has been and
hopefully will continue to be a pleasure to sit out on the garden swing
and watch their activities as they go about their routine. We’ve
watched them do everything from squabble over bird feeder seeds to
sitting quietly on their nest of eggs for weeks on end. We’ve even had
a family of Robins each year build their nest on a shelf on the back
wall of the house just to the side of our patio doors. They get so used
to us coming and going that most times they will not even flinch as we
brush past them or stand three feet away tending the BBQ. In fact I
usually carry on a conversation with with whichever one of them is on
the eggs while I cook. We have a set of small trees at each end of the
patio and I have them trimmed in perfect globes to frame the entrances.
For a few years now we’ve had cardinals nesting in one of those trees
just outside the kitchen window and can watch them as they tend their
eggs. I think originally the birds were attracted to the small water
pond we’ve built in the one corner of the yard. Of course, they are now
more interested in what they can find to eat around the yard and know
that they are basically protected from the outside world by our 6-foot
plus fence that encloses the yard. Nothing bothers the birds or the few
critters that appear each year and it’s nice to sit and watch as well
as listen to their songs and warbles on a warm summer day.
For the past three or four years, we’ve had a pair of Canada Geese that
inhabit our front lawn. They come back every spring and have been with
us now for several weeks. They are there each morning and like to squat
on the lawn and just watch the traffic and people go by. Most people
just slow their walking pace and admire the beauty of these huge
symbols of Canadian wild life and then keep on moving. The school kids
however, are a different story. It seems that many of them haven’t been
taught to respect one of Canada’s national birds and they like to taunt
them and even come right up on our lawn and chase these two graceful
beauties. This pair has even laid their eggs for the past couple of
years on the boulevard of the house across the street from our place
and take turns sitting on them. I hesitate to call the resting place of
the eggs a nest because; they are simply laid in a group on the dead
grass between the roadside curb and the sidewalk. Quite a precarious
place to lay their valuable family product! Many people walk past the
eggs without even noticing them but the other day I was sitting out on
the porch and heard two gentlemen talking as they passed by the “nest”.
One said to the other “Looks like someone has smashed the goose eggs
again this year!” I wasn’t witness to the dirty deed but have no doubt
that the eggs were smashed by the two young kids that play out front of
that house on most days. Carole saw them chasing the geese across the
street one day and had to give them a quick scolding to stop their
shenanigans. I guess it’s up to the parents to teach their kids some
respect for wildlife but then some parents just don’t give a damn what
their kids do! The other day Carole and I were sitting in one of the
doorways to our garage enjoying the sunshine even though it was a tad
chilly and as she looked over toward the geese she noticed six school
kids about in the 12 years of age bracket walking past the house. Two
of them decided to walk right up onto the lawn and chase the geese that
were just resting there. Carole scolded them before they managed to
scare the geese off and you should have seen the look of terror on
their faces! They very quickly retreated to their walk and crossed the
street in record time. It shocked them when they were caught in the
act. Hopefully it’ll have taught them a lesson and they won’t do it
again. We were talking afterwards and Carole said that it would be a
good idea if the school made an announcement to all students to respect
the wildlife they encounter when walking to and from school. I agree
that that’s exactly what should happen. I know that my father taught us
as kids to be respectful of all wildlife and would have been quite
upset if he ever saw one of us abusing any bird of animal. I really
don’t think enough parents take the time to teach their kids respect
for anything these days.
We did notice that today only one of the geese was standing on the
front lawn this morning but by 9am she was gone. I hope the loss of
their eggs hasn’t discouraged them from visiting us each spring. It’s
amazing to see these perfect specimens up close and after all the time
they’ve spent with us this year so far, I never even thought to take
out my new camera and get some photos of them! Maybe they’ll reappear
again before flying off to some safe local lake and I’ll get one more
chance to practice my photo skills on a beautiful subject!
Guess I’ll make like a goose and fly for now!
That’s about all for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now … Greg
PS: Something To Think About>
The last Great White Rhino (Male) left in the wild in this world had to
be euthanized this week in Sudan Africa. He was the last male and has
left behind two offspring but they are both females and are both
sterile. Weighing in at just over 5000 lbs and at 45 years of age he
could no longer support his great size due to a rear leg injury that
would not heal! He had been protected for the past few years by armed
guards out in the grasslands of Sudan. They were keeping the poachers
from killing him for his horn!
I know I’ve already said goodbye for this week but feel that this is an
important topic to mention. They said on the news that there is still
Great White male and female rhinos in captivity that are increasing in
numbers but NONE in the wild. Scientists feel that with luck, they will
be able to implant the two sisters in Sudan with eggs from captive
Rhinos and hopefully start a rebirth of wild Rhinos in Africa. Four
years ago there were still 10,000 Great White Rhinos in Sudan and the
poachers have killed off up to 4,000 of them per year for their horns!
What a shame!
****
Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.
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