The Squamidian Report – June 30 / 18
Issue #840
Including:
From Russ
From Lorne
Hi All,
Is it just me or are TV commercials getting even stupider and more
insulting than they used to be? They have always been used to 'social
engineer' us, steer us in a preferred direction, convince us as to how
and what to think (or better still, to not think at all), and all in
the name of turning the purchasing public into mindless sheep that are
more than willing to hand over all their earnings to the corporate
entities. The perfect world, we work to make the elite wealthy, then
die and get out of their way. But the latest messages being spewed by
the advertising powers to be have taken to an even lower and more
insulting level. Here's an example.... there are a group of 'young
people' driving along in a car and they find themselves in stopped,
grid locked traffic. Their whole world is in danger of crashing down on
their brain dead heads when miraculously, one of them somehow pulls out
a big bag of Lay's potato chips. The very presence of this wonderful
product turns their dismal disappointing drive into a wonderful and
fulfilling experience. Low and behold, they are saved from their
trapped lives because one of them had the foresight to purchase potato
chips. Who could have know of such wonders.
Or the Nissan car commercials where the young driver in the brand new
vehicle somehow sees herself as piloting a spacecraft fighter right out
of Star Wars and finds herself in need of pulling off the almost
impossible task of driving straight between a row of traffic cones
lined up through a construction sight. She saves the day by pushing a
little button on the dash of the car to enable the steering control
system to assist in this grievous task of navigation and thanks to this
out worldly technology now available, she emerges out the other end of
the cone zone unscathed. How the hell did this dolt and all the other
lame brains targeted by this commercial get their drivers license in
the first place.
And then the commercial for the SUV being driven by the modern,
entitled driver who comes upon the line of stopped vehicles and decides
that being who they are, THEY don't have to wait in stopped traffic
because THEY are driving this fancy new vehicle with traction control
and a big sun roof and so THEY can simply turn off the road, go up and
over the hill and by some miracle, pop out of the wilderness right at
their destination. For all I know, they were probably headed out to buy
those badly needed potato chips.
Lets not forget the drivers of that new car in another commercial that
decide to go camping and drive down onto the low gravel bar beside the
water to pitch their tent (no thought to the fact that they could be
swamped by rising water at any time). Without this wondrous vehicle
they would have been forced to stay within the safety and comfort of
the big city from which said vehicle lets them escape, momentarily of
course, because the target group would be lost without their fancy
coffees and designer clothing and WiFi connections.
Lets not forget that ridiculous peanut butter commercial where the
idiots taste the companies product for the first time and go all
ballistic over how 'great' it tastes. Beyond insulting! Or the one
where the female engineer is talking to a grade school class and is
more proud of how she gets points for shopping with her particular
credit card than she is about being an engineer. Or the shopping site
that 'gives' back money when someone shops from their site. The
'shoppers' make like they are being paid to shop, acting all excited
and impressed with how much they made by shopping there. Sickening.
Then there's the fast food commercials where the surprised recipients
of the burgers being handed out just can't believe how great these
burgers taste, almost like real meat. Or can't believe how they ever
got along without going to the pancake restaurant or wherever for all
their lives. Life was just passing them by. And don't forget to buy
this kind of pop or that kind of feminine product or those jeans or
them there cookies. Mostly, don't forget to buy, buy, buy until you
have maxed out your credit (no one is suppose to stay within their
earning limits anymore) and then you must get yourself a consolidation
loan so you can again buy, buy and buy some more. Because they are also
trying to sell us on buying more money, at high interest rates of
course but it all boils down to squeezing every last penny out of a
population that is being trained to consume on ever increasing amounts
until they, being us, are totally but unknowingly, controlled and
converted into simply going through life blissfully unaware of anything
except for the acts of consuming and supporting the corporate elite.
And its working, judging by the barrage of commercialism that continues
to prove just how low of an opinion the elite have of the general
masses (an opinion we deserve). The only thing the advertisers have
failed at is insulting their targets, no matter how low they go, we
just soak it up and prove we are even stupider than imaginable. But, we
must look younger, better dressed, better outfitted, have smoother
skin, drink the drink of the 'in the know' drinker, and so on. Our new
broadcasts are more like infomercials than news. Our news papers now
come with the front page pretending to be the most important news but
actually being a full page add. Our western culture must be the
laughing stock of any sane (if there are any) people left on this world.
*
And
look at this, here we are into another long weekend, with a statutory
day off that us retired people don't get. This is a form of
discrimination, we don't get long weekends, we don't get days off, no
overtime, nothing. The only way we can even tell its a long weekend is
by the fact that traffic on the highway gets even heavier and more
chaotic. By the way, for those of you suffering through the oppressive
heat and humidity that has 'back east' in its grips, we on the west
coast have had to crank up the heating in our houses in order to keep
warm. Such is life.
doug
****
From Russ
“and the trumpet of the Lord shall sound, and time shall be no more”
Resurrection Day. The cemetery, Point Clark:
(me)Good morning, how was your rest?
(her)Deep, until that nut blew his horn....Got a kink in my neck...not used to lying flat on my back that long....You?
Never even turned over.
(her)Who are all these happy-looking people standing around?
Duh-no.
(her)Wait a minute! This isn’t the Anglican cemetery! You buried me in the United church side!!? How despicable!!
And while we’re at it, what happened to the heart-shaped headstone I wanted??
(I know I’ll regret this for all
Eternity, but I gotta ask....)Did someone get up on the wrong side of
her grave this morning?
(her)GO TO HELL!!
“And there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth”
Back to reality, I finally “put-to-bed” the “wrong side” issue.
When husband and wife share the same plot, it all depends on one’s
perspective as to who is on whose side; if one is standing at the foot
of the grave in our cemetery, the “right” is on the North, but if one
is “planted”, the “right” is on his South, so in our particular case,
Bobbie is planted on the North side (which is contrary to her epitaph
on the headstone)
Will this be a problem when they dig my grave? According to the guy who
brings in the power shovel, the answer is, “No, because I always shove
an iron rod down into the proposed site, and if I hit something
hard(vault), I continue probing until I know for sure we can’t use this
plot. It’s a VERY old cemetery, and some burials took place before the
land was consecrated (about 160 years ago)and there have been cases
where human remains are accidentally dug up”
Conclusion: Rightly or wrongly, I’ll be buried “snug-up-against Bobbie” and won’t worry about a thing.
Next week, we’ll continue with some stories that put a new slant on some old digs.
Your old Uncle Russ.
****
From Lorne
Pink cement is pink cement no matter how much you hate it. I avoid that
side of the house, don't look out the windows on that sick pink side
and go into denial. I may even have the windows permanently shuttered.
A neighbor who often walks by has chosen to cross to the other side.
Someone assured me that in 10 or 15 years, it won't be a bother to me
any longer. They may be right. Perhaps the high heat and humidity will
melt it away like cheap pink Christmas candy melting in a child's hand.
Worth a try.
Lorne
****
The Ontaion is not available this week.
****
Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.
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