The Squamidian Report – June 9 / 18
Issue #837
Including:
From Lorne
From Russ
The Ontarion
Hi All,
Firstly, I'd like to congratulate Ontario for NOT making the
devastating political blunder that befell BC at its last election. BC
voted out their Libtard government and therefore voted in a very left
wing NDP minority that in its greed for power happily excepted being
propped up by an even lefter wing bunch of wing dings called the GREENs
who basically now rule the province while holding only 2 seats. They
push their own agenda with no care at all as to the cost or effect and
the NDP happily wallow in their slime because it keeps them in as the
governing party. Disgusting. You guys in Ontario have dodged a very
devastating bullet. I know some of you are probably pissed right now,
at your election results and at me for stating my opinion. Don't be.
Look beyond blind ideology and you just may see a much brighter future.
Interestingly, whenever people see their political structure go in a
direction different from what they had wanted, they immediately start
to squawk about how 'things' would be so much better if we had
proportional government where each party would get a number of seats
based on the popular vote, rather than the 'first past the gate' vote.
Well, in this particular election that wouldn't have made much of a
difference. The current BC government is making noises about bringing
in such a system and that is scary. What it would do is give voice to
the extreme lunatic fringes of both the left and the right. There is
are good sound reasons for not doing that and a simplistic example is
when plotting information such as school grades or whatever on a bell
curve. The lowest and highest value is always thrown out to avoid the
results being twisted out of proportion. Just as an inaccurate result
is not wanted when plotting a bell curve, political extremes should not
be wanted when running a government because that opens the door to
following ideology to absurd lengths.
So Ontario, give Ford a chance. He has a massive and perhaps near
impossible job ahead trying to undo the damages and corruptions of the
past 15 years. As long as his advisers continue to tell him what he
needs to hear and not start telling him what they want him to hear
(which is the downfall of pretty well every politician), he just might
do fine.
*
A
couple of years ago we all marveled at the small stands of fir trees
sporting blue cones we could see clustered in little areas once we'd
ridded up past tower #10 at the gondola. They seemed to like the
growing conditions up there as there were no examples of them lower
down in elevation. Turned out they were, and still are, Amabilis Fir.
Also turns out they tend to be on some sort of cycle because last year
they didn't produce the blue cones that stood out so vividly in an
ocean of green. This year they are again producing. The blue cones have
started to show on the tops of the tree, standing upright. That seems
to be where they grow their cones, not on the lower branches, just at
the top. As the summer wares on the cones will grow bigger, staying
blue right till fall when they will fall. Also turns out these trees
are common further north in the Interior of the province. Makes sense,
there is a relationship between altitude and latitude when it comes to
plant species. They are quite common up in the Prince George area where
the northern latitude conditions are similar to the altitude conditions
up above tower 10. To me thats interesting.
doug
****
From Lorne
Stepped off the plane shortly after midnight June 1st into a hot steamy
night wearing sweeter and jacket as the temperature at Calgary and
Vancouver were about 12 degrees and back home close to 30, even at that
hour. Our annual passes to the gondola that we acquired last year
were about to expire so why hang around any longer? That's the
way Doug saw it too and Sue can get back to cooking for 2 rather than 5.
Life goes on and since returning home, the driveway has been
resurfaced, and I made arrangements to extend the paving to the tractor
shed, making it better to approach in bad weather. The carpet will be
shampooed Monday, and made arrangements to have the concrete
approach to the front door repaired. Sorry descendants, but the
homestead will be upgraded.
Lorne
****
From Russ
Continuing with our look at lumps, humps & bumps:
hump > (noun) a rounded lump that sticks out.
Picture a camel. How come some have two humps while others only one?
The answer is; “One-humped and two-humped camels are two entirely
different species. The two-humped is the bactria camel, while the
one-humped species is the dromedary. Bactrian are an Asian species,
named after Bactria in Central Asia, whereas dromedary are a North
African species”. But you already knew that.
A million years ago, my wife and I had the pleasure of riding a
one-humper while visiting one of the Canary Islands. We didn’t sit
bum-to-hide (as that would be impossible for us), but in a two-seater
wicker basket slung over the beast’s 7 foot high back. The camel herder
warned us that his animal bites and spits. We thanked him for that, as
he ‘forced’ the reluctant camel to kneel, while Bobbie climbed into one
side of the basket and me in the other. When that “mean, old herder”
struck the animal across the nose with a stout wooden cane it
immediately , but with some difficulty, stood up. We quickly learned
that camels have an awkward way of rising from their kneeling position;
first the rear end comes up in a violent lurch, throwing us passengers
abruptly forward, then, in a similar jerking motion, rising up on their
front ends...throwing us backward in our not-so-comfortable wicker
(without padding) seats.
During the long, slow ride upon the smoking-hot sand (Lanzarote is a
volcanic island with hot spots where the ‘locals’ still cook upon
BBQ-style lava pits), our camel kept limping along, giving us an
additional ‘jolt’ each time his “trick knee” acted-up.
I’ll never forget that ride, as my back still hurts to this day!
Have you ever heard the expression; “dowager’s hump”?
My trusty old Dictionary gives the meaning of “dowager” as:
A woman who holds some title or property from her dead husband.
I first heard it from my wife, when I was still alive, who used it to
describe a female with a humped back, a condition sometimes caused by
osteo perioses(sp?)
In Nature, there are hump-back whales and hump-back salmon.
“Life for these salmon is an especial tragedy, for the mating call that
drives them on is also a funeral dirge. It ends after a few hours of
sexual frenzy as male and female, quivering side by side in a nest
gouged from the streambed, simultaneously release hundreds of eggs and
clouds of sperm. Within a week, exhausted, bruised, and listless, they
drift downstream to die” Pierre Berton.
How profoundly sad.....yet somehow familiar(LOL)
“hump” > (verb) to raise or bend into a hump...example;
“The cat humped her back when she saw the dog”
“See your dog hump the football”
You may recall from earlier stories of mine, that we ‘fell heir’ to a
Standard Poodle, a mature boy-dog named Pierre. A certain police
sergeant (who will remain nameless) pawned Pierre off onto us because
he was “constantly humping his wife” when she bent over (as in
scrubbing the floor, etc.) He knew we loved dogs, and we were excited
and grateful to receive him, but Charlie never revealed the truth about
“horny Pierre” until later. He continued his embarrassing behaviour
with female visitors and house guests, but he (Pierre, not the
sergeant) never humped my wife while scrubbing the floor, because she
didn’t do that.
You will no doubt be happy and relieved to learn that next week we will end these stories, when the topic will be about “bumps”.
Uncle R.
****
THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello everyone!
I’m writing this week’s column on Thursday evening because I’ll be too
busy to write it on the weekend. Loads of things to do around the house
as well as we’ll be out of town for a couple of days. I know it’s not
the most prudent financial thing to do but we’re heading for the States
for a couple of days to do some south of the border shopping for a few
items that are not available here in Canada. Just some items that we’ve
been looking for here at home that are more likely to be available in
the States. We’ve been enjoying the nice weather even though we’ve had
a few days of mid-teen temperatures. It’s been a tad cool to be driving
around in the MG with no top on it yet but it’s still fun. With the
results positive for cancer on my head I have to make darned sure to
wear a hat or major sun screen these days when out in the sun. I’ve
always worn a hat but apparently not always enough to protect my skull
from the sun. The hats I do wear are fine for covering my head but not
my ears and the back of my neck. With this realization Adam presented
me with a very thoughtful gift. He gave me a ball style cap with a long
peek and a “Foreign Legion” style flap on the back. It hangs over my
ears as well as over my neck to my collar and it keeps the sun off
those parts very well. It also helps protect me from the cool wind that
hits me from behind while driving in the convertible. It’s ideal for
mowing the lawn and any other outdoor activity that exposes me to the
sun. I’m getting used to looking like I’m ready to ride a camel in the
blazing desert sun! LOL! It’s an unusual type of cap but very practical
indeed! Thanks Adam!
*
Of
course we voted today and had only a short walk across the street to St
Mark’s Catholic church to the local poling station to do so. It took
all of three minutes once we made our way into the church. They didn’t
look very busy at all. In fact we were there with two other people in a
huge gymnasium that had at least a dozen voting booths as well as a
dozen returning officers. So, it was a quick in and out for sure. With
the admission of Kathleen Wynn that she and her crooked Liberals would
not be voted back in to do any more damage to the Ontario economy I
think the turn out will be very busy this time. There seems to be a
large turn out now that the rest of the working public is home for the
evening. I have no doubt the Liberals will get their asses kicked out
as they should have had three years ago or more! What a disaster they
have caused in Ontario over the past 15 years! Now if we could only rid
our country of the Federal Liberals and the Pierre Trudeau clone (or
should I say clown?) leading them at the moment! Just another idiot
that’s tossing money out the window like it’s free! He seems to have no
problem doling it out by the millions to foreign countries but has no
compassion for our needy veterans and homeless citizens of Canada. It’s
too bad that he thrives on making himself look good to anyone but our
Canadian citizens. I’m sure he’ll suffer the same fate as the
provincial Liberals once his term in office is up! With a Bozo like
Trump pulling Justin’s puppet strings he’ll be giving away our trade
advantages to the States without so much as a decent fight! After
watching him commit billions of our tax dollars to a pipeline that will
only deplete Canada’s oil supplies to the detriment of the western
provinces as well as the rest of Canada I’m sure he’s capable of
anything but governing in a sensible manner!
There is no doubt that he’s got his followers but that’s only because
most of them are either minorities, needy immigrants or swooning women
that have fallen for his boyish good looks and of course his continuing
line of BS about how compassionate he is! My opinion of course is just
that, my opinion but when you check the facts about his spending habits
I’m sure my assessment is accurate!
Enough time and typing wasted on the mismanagement of our government
for now. It’ll be interesting to see the results of tonight’s election
come midnight! As long as whoever gets in this time has a better
attitude toward the conservancy of our cash flow here in Ontario we
can’t do any worse than the outgoing Liberal spendthrifts we are
getting rid of! That’s why I say good riddance to Kathleen Wynn and her
ass kissing party members! I hope they lose their party rating and are
not back in the running for many years to come!
That’s about all for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now … Greg
PS: I hope you all at least voted for your choice!
If you didn’t vote or were foolish enough to Not Vote, you have no right to complain about the results!
****
Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.
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