The Squamidian Report – Nov. 26 / 16
Issue #757
Including:
The Ontarion
Hi All,
Now here's something that doesn't happen around here very often, I
found myself having to take down a couple of trees. Its kind of funny,
I was vaguely aware of some small shrubs growing along our side line on
the down hill side of the house, the north side. They hadn't aways been
there, they had just silently and sneakily started to exist several
years ago and I didn't give them much thought at all. On some level of
my thinking process I had assumed that the neighbor had planted them
because I knew I hadn't, and had then dismissed them from my mind until
I recently realized that they were getting way too big to be growing
between our houses. It had then become my intention to talk to the
neighbor about taking them down before they became a problem. Then I
walked up the neighbor's lawn to have a look at the trees from their
side and discovered that they were not growing out of that side yard
but were in fact growing out from between the rocks that make up our
retaining wall. They were both clinging to the side of the wall like we
see so many trees doing on the cliff faces around here. No one would
have or could have planted them there. Either a bird or more likely a
squirrel had stashed some seeds and two of those seeds germinated.
Because the trees were growing out or our retaining wall I didn't have
to talk to the neighbor at all, not their trees.
The trees had suddenly erupted in growth a couple of years ago and one
of them was now 30 ft tall. I know because once it was down I measured
it. I also counted the growth rings, it was only 10 years old. Things
grow fast around here. The other was about half that hight. Had they
been left to continue growing at their current rate they would have
become as tall as the other Hemlocks around here and with only a
sideways hold on a loose rock wall would have come down onto a roof
during a windstorm, didn't want that. So, they had to come down and
thats what we did. I still have my chainsaw that I used when we lived
back east and had indeed used it a few times during our early years
here but it hasn't been used now for a long time and I really didn't
want to bother with mixed gas, getting it to run and so on so, I used
my cordless reciprocal saw. It did the job wonderfully. Did I say at
some time in the past that I love cordless tools? Well, I still do.
They are so handy, and work so well there is no need to use anything
else if at all possible. After trimming as many branches off as I could
reach I tied a rope as high as I could reach and had 'the wife' and
Kyra pull on the rope to encourage it to fall where we wanted it. We
needed to drop the taller one toward our front lawn, which we did. In
lead-up to this endeavor we had told Kyra she could help us by helping
granny pull on the rope. She informed us quite excitedly that this
would be the first tree she had pulled down and proceeded to
demonstrate her pulling prowess by dragging furniture around the house.
There is no fathoming the mind of a 4-yr old.
The 'falling' process went smoothly and the tree landed were we wanted
it. The cordless saw worked flawlessly for trimming the rest of the
branches off and for cutting up the trunk, the base of which was close
to 8 inches in diameter. Kyra helped with the cleanup as well although
she would often help in rather unproductive ways, so to speak. But, she
had a great time being involved in her first tree falling project, and
we no longer need to worry about two trees becoming a problem. I still
haven't discussed it with the neighbor as they were not their trees,
and, they probably won't even notice that the trees are gone because
for them that side yard is the 'other side' of their house. Oh, get
this, it wasn't raining during the couple of hours we were working on
the tree removal project. Thats almost freaky.
It has however been raining for so long now that its put the Biblical
story of 40 days and 40 nights to shame. Heck, we've blown so far past
that time frame that its almost comical. Coming up on 60 days and
nights by this time next week. And so far during this rather wet period
we have received somewhere close to 960 mil of rain. Enought already!!
And one more thought that has nothing to do with trees or rain....
there was an article on the Global news the other evening about
Toronto's mayor wanting to put tolls on the DVP and the Gardner. In the
interview he was yapping about how its high time motorists started to
pay for the roads they are using. Well, WAIT A FRIGIN' MINUTE!!!!
Motorists have been paying, through the nose, all along. It used to be
called 'road tax' and was and still is included in the price of the
fuel at the pumps you purchased when fueling up your car. Then at some
point the politicians began syphoning it off into general revenues and
started using that on-going tax money for their own slimy purposes. And
low and behold, apparently drivers are no longer paying for the roads,
according to the logic of the politicians. Will it never end?
doug
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THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello everyone!
Well I guess you all know by now that we’ve finally hit winter here in
Southern Ontario. Luckily it hasn’t been too severe so far but I’m sure
it won’t be long before we will have to start either shoveling or
blowing the white stuff once again. Oh yah and by the way, it’s time to
start your Christmas shopping if you don’t already have it done! The TV
is of course saturated with Christmas or should I say “Holiday” ads
regarding what to buy your loved one’s for the special occasion. I
guess there’s no avoiding the barrage of suggestions or demands made by
the thousands of ad people that concoct the television blurbs we
see for 6 out of every 10 minutes of broadcast these days! It’s
becoming more ridiculous as the weeks go on! I guess with the
exorbitant salaries the popular actors of our time demand, the
filmmakers and TV Show producers simply have to sell more and more
advertising time to be able to pay for their productions. It’s nice to
see that actors, even the character types are paid a fair wage but holy
smokes; do they all have to be millionaires? When you Google the name
of an actor these days it pops up with their “net worth” most times
without even having to ask! It’s hard to believe how many people in the
entertainment industry are not only millionaires but also
multi-millionaires. I am dumfounded at the number of actors that have a
“net worth” in the hundreds of millions of dollars and from what,
playing a part in front of a camera for a living? I often wonder how
many of these Hollywood types could even manage to make an honest
living in the real world! Most of them held menial jobs like waiting on
tables before someone offered them a career in the film industry. Don’t
get me wrong, I’m not putting the wait staff in the food industry down
but it seems to me that most actors could not have achieved much else
in life had they not been blessed with a muscular build or a pretty
face. Not to mention rich parents that were in the show business
industry long before these present day “Super Stars” were more than a
gleam in their parent’s eye! Makes me wish I’d taken that spot in the
KCI drama club’s play after all! You never know, I might have been a
big star in the St Jacob’s Play House productions by now and be able to
afford my very own Ford “Focus” to cruise the drag in! I guess not
every film or TV actor is able to afford a Ferrari but it seems that
most of them do quite well at our expense. I don’t attend actual movie
theatre “movies” very often but having a regular monthly Roger’s bill
the size of a welfare cheque still hands the entertainment industry a
good chunk of my income.
Between that and taxes, I’m likely poorer than the average bit part
actor on TV after all! Hell, I’d be willing to bet that the guy that
stands at the Expressway interchange with the cardboard sign makes as
good a living as some of us average retirees, if not better! I had a
thought a few times over the years that if I were to make up a bunch of
4’ long broom handles with a tin coffee can on the end of each I might
be able to rake in a good second income selling them to the Expressway
bums, so they wouldn’t have to get off their asses even to walk over to
each car window to receive the cash some philanthropists are willing to
fork over from their cup holders each day. They’d likely not even
appreciate the effort I’d put out to make and deliver the “Cash Cans”
to each of their workstations to pay the paltry $5.00 asking price
anyway! Oh well, one of these days I’ll come up with a money making
idea that’s less expensive to put into motion than playing the OLG
lotteries every week! Maybe I’m aiming at the wrong end of society with
my gimmick. Maybe I should be inventing something to sell to the rich
folk but I figured they’re too cheap to part with cash that doesn’t
wind up putting a percentage of the profits in their pockets! I guess
that’s how the Rich get Richer isn’t it? Oh well, just as a friendly
gesture maybe I’ll make up a few of my “Expressway Cash Cans” and just
take them to a few of the poor fellows that are working those spots to
make it through each day! I’m sure it would entice more motorists to be
generous and giving if they didn’t have to come in contact with the
actual “Expressway Beggars” standing right at their open car window.
Just might make for a better Christmas for the expressway cardboard
sign folk if I do start them off with an easy way to reach the drivers
of the day. I think I’ll give it a try and see how it works! Now all I
have to do is come up with a source for coffee cans and broom handles!
That’s about it for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now … Greg
PS: Something To Think About>
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge!
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Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.
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