The Squamidian Report – May 14 / 16
 
Issue #729

Including:
The Ontarion

Hi All,

This getting old nonsense in the pits. Just as I'm getting my strength back from that dumb pneumonia stuff, I woke up Thursday morning and realized I couldn't hear through my left ear. Totally deaf. To make it more frustrating, thats my 'good' ear, the one I tend to depend on. I could feel pressure, as if it were blocked but there was nothing blocking it. Now this is a problem. I'm playing at the gondola on Saturday as part of their 2nd anniversary celebrations. Hearing is a rather important part of being able to play and sing.  It tends to come on handy. So, this needed to be dealt with immediately and that meant scooting down to the walk-in clinic which opens at 9am. Funny, you get there at 9:01 and they are already backed up by 3/4s hour. Oh well. I'd have that much of a wait if I'd booked my family doctor, assuming I could get an appointment, so, I waited. Much to my surprise and pleasure, the clinic doctor was the same lady that took care of my pneumonia. It didn't take her long to decide I had an ear infection. Just like before, I have no idea how it got there or where it came from. I don't go around sticking dirty things in my ears, ever. Long story short, she wrote out a prescription for some sort of drops that go in twice a day for a week and with luck I'll be able to hear again soon.

Its really weird hearing through just one ear when you are used to two. You can't tell what direction a sound is coming from, nothing sounds 'normal' and so on. I picked up the phone to answer a call that came in and couldn't figure out why no one was on the line. Then it dawned on my that I was trying to use my usual phone ear. Nothing. Switched the phone over to the other one and sure enough, there was a voice talking away.

Getting back to playing the gondola gig with a malfunctioning ear, its going to be interesting. The ear that still works, works poorly. Everything through it sounds tinny making hearing the proper tones and notes difficult. I can only hope that what I hear inside my head is somewhat similar as whats going on outside my head because if its not, I could be off key and not even know it. That would be fine if I were doing that rap crap or some other form of commercial diarrhea type music but the stuff I do needs to be on key and if its not, it bombs big time. Or, to be more exact, I bomb big time. I'll let you know how it worked out.

They have 4 bands lined up for the afternoon, starting at noon. I'm just acoustic me and not a high powered band so I can't really compete with the up-tempo excitement a band can produce and obviously, I don't try. I've got my locally inspired original music to offer and thats a lot more than most bands or individuals can claim. My time slot is just before noon, and just ahead of the bands. Thats a good thing both musically and by the fact that its been a tad on the warm side around here lately and I'll be doing my thing before the real heat of the day kicks in. Its always a pleasure to be able to share my music with others and this is another opportunity to do so. It should be, and will be, fun.

doug
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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!
Spring has sprung and I’ve already cut our lawn three times. It’s growing like weeds but luckily we only have a few dandelions on the front lawn. There are none on the back lawn so it seems that the Scott’s Turf Builder with Weed Suppressant is working! Living on a corner lot means that we have a large boulevard on one side of the house and it unfortunately is quite populated with dandelions. I did spread the weed suppressant Turf Builder on that area as well but the weeds had already taken hold on the boulevard. Guess you can’t win ‘em all!

With the onset of the good weather come many other enjoyable and not so enjoyable guests in our back garden. We have a lovely array of beautiful birds that are in and out of the garden and shrubs throughout every day and it’s fun to watch and hear them as they enjoy the flowers etc that we have lining our back yard perimeter! However, we also have a few critters that are not so welcome! I’ve found a few quite large dead moles floating in the pond and had to scoop them with my net. Luckily we have the hydro right of way behind us so disposing of the carcasses is a simple catapult over the fence and the crows out back take care of the rest! We have also seen that we have a rat inhabiting our back fence line. He likes to climb around on the limestone rocks that I used to build the waterfall and surround that makes up the background for the pond. He appears mostly in the early mornings but we’ve now spotted him a few times throughout the day. I’ve set a nice big trap for him at one of his holes near the fence but he seems to trip it without getting caught. This morning I found it flipped over and to my chagrin when I checked it’s topside, it was picked clean and there was no corpse in the spring bail! Oh well, perhaps he’ll fall prey to the cheese I baited it with tonight. I’ve also placed in line with and against the back fence where we see him sneaking along to get to his hole under one of the railway tie planters I built against the fence. Hopefully he won’t have good night vision and he’ll wind up “IN” the trap tomorrow morning! I’ll keep you posted of course! I just know you’ll all be looking forward to hearing the outcome of this one! LOL!

     Just to the right of our patio sliding door we have a small metal shelf mounted on the wall and there is a miniature watering can on the shelf. Each year we get a family of Robins that build a nest in the can and this has been happening for about 10 years now without fail. This year is no exception and after a few days the Robins become quite trusting of us when they see that we mean them no harm. They now will stay on the nest while we go about our chores in the yard. It’s interesting watching them as they go through the process of laying, warming and hatching the eggs. They spend much of their off nest time fighting with the starlings and red-winged black birds that try to steal their eggs. I’m surprised that the rat hasn’t made his way up to the nest but I guess he’s too busy chasing the chipmunks that compete with the birds for the sunflower seeds that Carole keeps in supply in the bird feeder! I watched today, as a baby chipmunk got a little too close to the rat’s hole by the fence and the rat chased him right onto the patio. The chippie made it to safety under a plastic trunk we keep our outdoor chair cushions in and the rat was too big to follow him! The rat also saw me standing just inside the house at the screen door of the sliding patio door and he scooted like a scared rat back to his hole under the planter! I waited for him with the BB Gun for over an hour but he never showed his ratfink face a second time! I’ll get him one way or another, either with the rattrap or a lethal BB shot some day soon! He’s destined to be gone if he gets in my sights! Hahahahaaaaa…..! I used to be able to hit a dime at 50 feet with my original “Red Rider” BB Gun back in the 50’s so he’ll have an extra hole in his head if I have my way!

     Just to mention a few of the birds we have out back, there are Robins, Cardinals, Gold Finches, Doves, Sparrows, Starlings and Red-Winged Blackbirds. We’ve also had the odd Red-Tailed Hawk hanging around back when we had our little Poodle “Bailey” I guess they thought he was a rabbit or some other tasty meal! LOL!

Speaking of rabbits, we also have our share of those little critters as well. I spotted one hiding in the bushes just this afternoon but as soon as he saw me he headed for the neighbour’s yard. I’m sure he’s around on a regular basis as well but he doesn’t trust me like the Robins do! I don’t blame him we don’t like him feeding off of Carole’s prized shrubbery! If he’s not careful, he may just wind up in one of her prized pots of stew! LOL! Just kidding!

     Anyway, it’s fun to experience the wildlife out back and it’s nice to see that these critters inhabit the city too! Some of them can be destructive so I guess it’s up to me and “Red Rider” to keep order in the wilds of Royal Orchard Drive! Actually, the only truly unwelcome critter is the R A T, hence the BB Gun. The other critters are mostly cute so they can stay! I didn’t realize how skilled the chipmunks were at burrowing underground until they started living on our property. We have to keep filling in the holes they dig in our flagstone walkway. I’m sure they have a whole network of tunnels under the walkways and gardens. If they start to get too prolific, I may have to resort to stuffing a garden hose in a few of the holes and flush them out! Just another adventure of a property owner and the local wildlife!

That’s it for this week folks! I hope you all enjoyed this week’s episode!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now … Greg

PS: Something To Think About>
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway!

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Have a good one..
the doug
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