The Squamidian Report – Jan. 23 / 16
 
Online Version
Issue #713

Including:
The Ontarion

Hi All,

The Vancouver motorcycle show is on again this weekend. As per usual, its not in Vancouver. Its way out in Abbotsford at the airport. The annual bike show used to be the place to go. It had an incredible amount of stuff to see and stuff to purchase if you wanted  things like leather goods, bike parts and any other imaginable item even slightly bike related. However, over the past few years the show has gotten smaller while at the same time the admittance price has gotten higher. Its become too expensive for all but the biggest vendors to display their wears. In short, its not all that worthwhile to bother attending anymore. Several of my friends decided to go on Friday so I tagged along. The drive way out the valley was difficult due to the heavy rain and heavy traffic but we got there. A couple of hours later we were ready to leave so leave we did. Oh, did I mention that every year the cost of parking has gone up as well. I don't think I'll bother going next year. Just not worth the effort.

Ok, as some of you may know, 'The Wife' has been out of town for a few days now and that has given me some quiet time. Or, to be more accurate, a relatively quiet house. I say 'relatively' because its is relative. Houses are noisy places. Dogs snore, fans hum, fridges whine and so on. And thats not to mention the noises out on the street or the sound of the train whistle way out the valley some where. They all come into play when trying to recored music. Yes, I've finally found myself in the right head space to write a couple more original songs. Its been a while. Anyway, I've been working away at these latest numbers for a long time and for a long time they just didn't want to come together. Then, slowly, and thanks to opportunity, something started to rise from the fragmented ideas and presto, two more songs. Well, actually three but I've run out of time for that third one although I'm hoping to still squeeze that last one in before she gets home 'cause once she's here its back to that relatively quiet thing again. If this was years ago, two songs would be the A and B side of a 45 record but this is now and what they really are is two more songs toward enough songs to make burning the next CD worth while. I've go six now since the last CD and I give my head a shake every time I think about just how much work one original song is, let alone a CD's worth because its not just 'the song', its the mood and direction, the arrangement, the instrumentation and the vocals that all must be conceived of and then invented and learned and implemented. And then recorded which is one heck of a big job.

Something I've always wanted to do, well, since I got into this silly hobby, is write a cowboy song but I can't and never can. You see, to write honestly, you must know your subject. You must be able to feel it. One can never truly write a song about something they know nothing about. I remember Sylvia Tyson saying that in an interview years ago and she is right. Anyway, I tend to like cowboy songs. They are a form of poetry that comes from deep inside. They tell a story. Then it dawned on me. I could write a song about how I thought it would be like to have been a cowboy, or at least to ride along with them. That would be both true and honest. So, thats where I've gone with that song. “I've never been a cowboy, I can not write their song. But somewhere deep inside me knows I'd have loved to ride along.” Once I understood that, the song came together. I think I like this song, I hope you do too.
I've Never Been A Cowboy

The second song is just one of those things that happen when you sit with your guitar and play with strums and chords and thoughts. I'd been toying with it for a long time to no avail and then again, it came together. Its perhaps a bit weird but then so am I.
The Sun Comes Shining Through

As with all my original music, I've taken steps to protect my intellectual property. Copies of the recording files, lyrics and finished products are sealed in envelopes that have been registered through the post office. That way, as long as the envelopes stay sealed, I can always prove that these, and all my music, have been in my possession as of the date each one was written. Or to be more precise, the date each envelope was registered. The chances of ever needing to prove ownership won't likely ever happen but if it did, I at least have something to fall back on.

Oh, one last thing... keep in mind as you listen to these numbers (should you choose to do so), that each and every song I write is an experiment in sound, composition, style and method and is conducted and constrained within the limitations of my own musical abilities, be they what they are. In short, I must work within my own abilities and shortcomings. Anyway, enjoy. And if I get that third one recorded before I pick 'The Wife' up at the airport late Sunday evening, well, I'll put a link to it in next week's Squid. If not,  oh well, at some point I'll have a quiet house again.

doug
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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!
The cold weather that’s finally here in Ontario is playing havoc with my delicate fingers, they’re all splitting and it hurts like heck to type! Guess I’ll get over it soon with the lotion I’ve been putting on them. They seem to be healing somewhat so there’s hope! Anyway, there’s not much one can do when you’re committed to clearing the snow almost every day so the school kids can walk safely to and from school. We live on a corner lot and every winter we find several cars or trucks wind up sliding over the curb on our corner and invariably they leave deep tire marks through the snow and into about the top 6” of our boulevard. Luckily we haven’t had any come right up onto the lawn or Heaven forbid, smash into the front porch or enter the living room. They’d have to make it past our huge twin white birch tree trunks that stand in the middle of our front lawn first. I guess they’re a pretty good barrier if by foolish chance some idiot lost control and made it that far off the road! Last week there was a car that was heading south on Driftwood Dr beside our house and he lost control as he tried to turn left onto our street. He wound up sliding right onto the sidewalk where the crossing guard stands for the school kids. The idiot driver actually took the “School Crossing” sign off its stand and got his car hung up on the remainder of the steel post. When he backed off the stub, it yanked the front-end spoiler and a few other plastic parts right off of his car! Of course he buggered off without calling the police and left the sign and most of the steel post out in the middle of the intersection. Adam was just arriving at our place for dinner and cleaned up the mess to get it off the road. Unfortunately he wasn’t on the scene in time to see the culprit and get his license number. Too bad he wasn’t there as it happened or the driver at fault would have had to answer for his misdeed! Oh well, at least it was past school hours or he might have killed the crossing guard or maybe some kids or both! I can’t for the life of me figure out why people just don’t slow the Hell down when the roads are slippery! If they’re smart enough to be able to pass a driver’s license surely to gosh they’ve been instructed on how to operate a motor vehicle in slippery or snowy weather! Carole suggested we call the Kitchener “Roads” department and ask that they put a speed bump on either side of the intersection on Driftwood Dr just before the cars reach the school crossing on the south side of the intersection and the north side of  our street beside our house. If the vehicles had a bump to pass over just before they reach the intersection maybe they’d make an effort to drive slower in this school zone! We’ve watched as 90% of the vehicles that use Driftwood Dr beside our house exceed the speed limit and the same number run right through the stop sign that’s on Royal Orchard Dr in front of our house. It would be a great place for a cop to sit to nab speeders and stop sign runners for sure, especially during the summer. I’d even be willing to let them sit in our driveway behind the neighbour’s pine trees to do their duty!

     A few years ago we made an effort to have the T intersection of our street and Driftwood Dr beside our house made into a three way stop. I called my city councilor and asked for his support and he called me back the next day and said he was told by the city roads department superintendant that I would have to get up a petition and have all of the residents within 500 feet of the intersection sign it and submit it to council before he would even consider installing a three way stop in our location. What the hell? Why should I do his job for him! I said to our councilor that the Roads Super should get off his ass and visit the site and see for himself how dangerous it is and then maybe he’d see things differently. I also said to the councilor that I guess it’s going to take a school child to get injured or killed before they’ll install stop signs at the intersection and he agreed. How sad is that? Luckily there have been no children hurt by the speeding vehicles but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before something drastic happens! Maybe a letter to the editor of the KW Record would open some eyes? On the other hand, who reads the paper these days? Anyway, I hope for the sake of the kids that the drivers slow down with the influx of bad weather and keep it that way through the rest of the year as well. I must mention that it’s not only the car drivers that drive like fools on Driftwood Dr, it’s the City bus and School Bus drivers as well and you’d think they’d know better!
Just sayin’!

That’s about it for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now … Greg

 PS: Something To Think About>
They begin the evening news with “Good Evening” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t!
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Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.