The Squamidian Report – Feb. 13 / 16
 
Issue #716

Including:
The Ontarion

Hi All,

I hate putting new strings on my musical instruments. Its not hard to do and doesn't take all that long. Its just that strings start to 'get old' as soon as they are installed and as you play your guitar or whatever, your ear adjusts to the sound of the strings as they slowly age. Therefore, they continue to seem to sound just fine as time goes by. Then, when you put new ones on, they sound totally different. They sound fresh and bright and lively but thats not what your brain has gotten used to. Your instrument sounds like it is supposed to but not how you have gotten used to it sounding. On some instruments the difference can be quite startling, depending on how 'dead' the old strings had become. I know that in times gone by I'd go for a year or even years before changing strings and given that my instruments back then were average at best, the result of new strings could be startling and almost unpleasant. Way too much sound that I wasn't used to would assail my ears. I've been changing strings on my Martin fairly regularly and because its a pretty high end instrument the sound does not deteriorate alarmingly as the strings age but there is certainly a noticeable difference in string action and response. (As a side note, I once went 25 years between string changes on my base guitar. The older the strings got, the more mellow the base sounded. At least in my opinion). Anyway, I changed the strings on my Martin this week and it continues to sound amazing.

Now I also changed the black ink cartridge in our printer this week and I got to thinking about the comparison. In both cases you remove the old and install the new. In both cases you should be able to experience a difference. But there is a very real difference between strings and cartridges. Good printers are relatively cheap and good guitars are relatively expensive. However, the strings for the expensive guitar are cheap while the cartridge for the inexpensive printer is expensive. You might pay under $100 for a printer that works just fine for pretty well any purpose the average person might have for it. Then when you need a new cartridge, you can find yourself paying close to 50% of the cost of the printer for said cartridge, knowing full well it will need replacing again way too soon. On the other hand, you may pay anywhere from $1000 to infinity for a guitar and the strings cost a paltry $7 or so for the whole set. The $50 cartridge was just for the black one, there are still colored ones that keep running dry too. So, if guitar strings were marketed the way printer cartridges are, I'd be paying $2000 for a set of strings. Lets hope the makers of musical instruments never catch on to the greedy tactics used by the makers of printers.

Another thing that got changed this week was the oil in my truck. Can you imagine what that would cost if they used the same pricing policy as the printer makers do? Do the math, no one would could afford to drive. I guess the bottom line is that when it comes to printers, we get taken to the cleaners. Oh well.

doug
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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!
Man this week went fast! I hope Doug has thought of something to write about this week since I seem to be drawing a blank! Oh well, I’m sure this will turn into something worthwhile if I just keep on typing. I’d tell you about all the snow I’ve cleared off the walkways this week but we haven’t had any so that’s a bust but wasn’t that interesting? The light we picked up at IKEA this past week turned out to be too long for a hallway light so I finally took it back to Burlington the other day and got our money back. It’s funny though, the evening before I returned it to IKEA there was an article on the news about a faulty ceiling light from IKEA that was being recalled due to plastic clips that held the shade in place that were breaking and allowing the glass shade to fall and injure home owners. The news said that IKEA would give a full refund to any and all who returned the light to their store. I had that in mind when I was driving down to Burlington to return the fixture we had bought but thought, “What the heck, I doubt there’ll be many people returning those lights that were on the news last night!” Boy, did I get a surprise when I entered IKEA’s returns area! There was a long line up of people ahead of me returning stuff and I counted 15 out of the 25 or so in line that were holding two or more of the lights that were faulty! Go figure eh? Also as luck would have it, there were 6 “Return” desks and only one of them was open for business. Wouldn’t you think that if this store was expecting a recall of such a popular item they’d at least have a few clerks working the “Returns Desks” to handle the surge of the day? It took me almost three quarters of an hour to get through the lineup and be served. About half way through the lineup a second clerk finally showed up to help the poor girl that was facing the crowd alone. The second girl wasn’t much help though as it took her about 15 minutes to serve the first customer she called to her register. She must have been new or something. Anyway I finally got to return my light and get out of that madhouse to head for home. The one thing about the day that was in my favour was the weather. It was at least sunny and the roads were clear all the way to IKEA and home again. I’d have been there and back home in two hours if it hadn’t been for that dastardly lineup! Oh well, what’s another hour in the scheme of things when you’re retired? I had made the drive on my own as Carole stayed home to get a few things she wanted to do around the house finished up. I really don’t mind driving places on my own it gives me a chance to just enjoy the ride and not have to have any particular thoughts in my little pea pickin’ head! Just enjoy the drive and swear at anybody and everybody that happens to drive like and idiot during my trip! LOL! You might have guessed it; I did a lot of swearing and complaining to myself and didn’t have to worry about hurting Carole’s ears or feelings with my cursing! It’s great when you can curse all you want and the only person to hear you is one who happens to agree with everything you say! Hahahaha…… what a great way to vent one’s frustrations!

     Speaking of one’s frustrations, I was up to Grand River Hospital today to have my kidneys checked with an ultra sound and had to be there a little while before my appointment. My appointment was for 1:45pm so I left home shortly after 1:00pm. I arrived at GRH ten minutes later and parked the Jeep. I went to the parking meter kiosk to buy a ticket and read their list of rates. The sign said that the cost of parking was $3.00 for every half hour of parking. I figured I’d be there for my two appointments in a row, one for blood work and the other for the ultra sound so with that in mind I was looking at approximately 2 to 3 hours. Figuring the cost per half hour, by the time I’d get out of there the parking would cost me the maximum of $14.00 per day and I’d only be there 3 hours. I thought, to heck with this, I’m not spending all that good Lotto money on parking! So, I jumped back in the Jeep and drove a few blocks out of my way and parked at Central Fresh Market (Formerly Central Meat) which is down King St a few blocks. The parking is for customers only but I figured Carole and I shop there once in a while so that makes me a customer! I walked from there up to the Hospital and after half an hour of testing and another two of waiting around I was finished at GRH. I walked back to the Free Parking spot at Central Fresh Market and headed for home. I am sure I didn’t inconvenience any of their customers and I saved myself $14.00 in parking fees! No feelings of guilt here, after all a retiree has to watch his budget!

That’s all for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now … Greg

PS: Something To Think About>
In filling out an application, where it says, ‘Emergency Contact’, I put DOCTOR!
Makes sense doesn’t it?   
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Have a good one..
the doug
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