The Squamidian Report – Mar. 1 / 14
 
Issue #614

Including:
The Ontarion

Hi All,

I tried to go for a walk last Wednesday but it was too cold where I was which is where many of you are. Then, I climbed aboard an airliner at the KW airport, and climbed back off in Vancouver. Got up Thursday morning and ended up carrying my lite jacket because it felt too warm to wear it. Sunny and +7 or +8 as a morning temp feels so much warmer than -15 with a stiff wind.

I always get a kick out of my mother's dog Teddy. He wants in and out and in and out and in and out constantly, through one of the doors in their sun room. They have a door on each end of the room, one leading to the front porch and the other leading onto the deck. Every once in a while he will want in one door and head straight across the room and want out the other door. No lollygagging, just heads right over to the other door to be let back out. Somebody has everyone else very well trained I think.

I know I complained about this a week ago but I'm doing it again. Why oh why do airlines insist on making their customers as uncomfortable as possible. The seats are now so close together that you simply can not move. Cramped would be a luxury, heck, the little view screen on the seat in front of you is too close to you to see. If you drop something onto the floor you can't even bend over far enough to pick it back up. There is no longer any need to have washrooms on board because no one can get out of their seat in order to go to the washroom. There is no longer any need for emergency exits because you could never get out of the seat in the first place.

And then there is airport security which is not under the jurisdiction of the airlines but is there to further frustrate and inconvenience the paying customers. Its not there to catch 'the bad guys', it was never intended to do that. Its there to control and intimidate the average traveler. When I went through security at Waterloo airport, no alarms went off, not beeps, nothing. My checked bag went through the machine just fine. My carry-on bag and pocket contents and jacket etc went through that machine just fine. I walked through the scanner in total silence, no beeps, no buzzers. However, the security agent looked at me and told me I must submit to a full body scan. I had a choice between standing in a little clear chamber where some kind of scanning device would check me from head to foot, or, I could have physical search done the old fashion way, by hand. Obviously I chose the scanning chamber. I'm not friendly enough to want it done by hand. Once the machine had checked me out the agent motioned me out and told me we would now check the results on the display screen. The screen obviously showed clear, nothing, because there wouldn't be anything for it to find. At that point I was sent over where my carry-on which had just passed through the scanning machine was waiting. They wiped down all my belongings inside, outside and around my bags, and then processed the material on the end of the sensor. That reading came up clear, clean, nothing. At that point I was free to proceed on my way. They of course didn't find anything, and never would. On one level it doesn't really matter, its kind of an adventure. But on another level it is frustrating and intimidating. We are at their mercy, be it airport security, or border security, or whatever. They control us because they need to be seen 'doing something' and we are easy to control.

And then there is that guitar I rented. Wow, was it ever nice. A Taylor 714ce with a list price of $3200. I could never afford a guitar like that myself but it was sure a pleasure to play. It was crisp and clear and clean and true and soft and mellow all at the same time. The woodwork was beautiful, the detail was beautiful. I took it back two days early. You might have thought I'd want to hold onto it as long as possible. And thats the problem, I was starting to want to hold on to it longer than possible. It would have been very easy to get to a frame of mind where I'd be tempted to not take it back, just out and out purchase it and then somehow slip it past 'the wife' when I got home. But a guitar like that is way too much money to purchase on impulse. So it was just easier to return it ahead of time than to get used to it. Besides, I've always wanted a really nice, high end guitar and someday I will have one but not today. For one thing, I'd never spend that kind of money on a guitar without thoroughly checking out several instruments in the same price range and category. You wouldn't buy the first car you looked at, you'd check out several car makes and models. I've always wanted either a Gibson or a Martin and I'd have to sit down in the sound room of several music stores and play various instruments that were tuned identically. The winner would have to sound right for my ear, would have to 'feel' right for my hands and would have to finger and play right for me. And just because an instrument might list at $3200 or whatever does not mean another one for a thousand bucks less would sound / feel inferior to me. Choosing a musical instrument is very subjective, and very personal. I could very well end up with something that no one else even liked when the time comes, if it were to come. Anyway, I liked that guitar that I rented, I took it back and all is well with the world, for now, as far as I know.

doug
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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!

Holy cow, it’s March 1st! If this were March 1st 2008, I’d be looking forward to picking up my new motorcycle in two weeks and riding it home. However, it’s not and I’m more likely to be picking out a new snow mobile if I were into that sport but I’m not, so I guess I’ll just have to settle for making more wooden toys in a nice warm basement woodshop and hope that mother nature turns up the heat real soon. We were all hoping for a nice early spring when “Groundhog Day” came around but that little rat let us down when he had the chance to make a lot of friends. What can you expect when he’s a rat and we all know what they are famous for! Anyway, I’m sure if we’re all patient we’ll see some warmer temperatures in the not too distant future and we’ll all forget about the cold snowy winter we’ve had this year. Besides, it’ll make us all appreciate our warmer weather a lot more this summer. When we’re puffing and panting in the 35c heat this summer, we’ll just have to think back three or four months to when we had icicles hanging from our mustaches and we’ll be quite happy to be baking in the summer sunshine! The long range forecast that I just checked on the computer says that we’re in for these very cold temps for at least another few weeks so hang on to your winter woolies and your scarves until at least the end of March this year. Let’s hope that when April comes around we’ll see a sudden burst of beautiful spring weather and the water that’s already stored up in the snow that’ll be melting or melted will do the job that April showers usually do and we won’t have to put up with a ton of them this year. Keep your fingers crossed that when spring does spring, it’ll make us forget all about the heavy winter we’ve just experienced. After all, we are living in “The Great White North” and such is life in Canada!

At least we were able to give Doug a taste of what he’s missing by living in that horribly wet rain forest he’s hibernating in out west! He said he enjoyed seeing and experiencing the snow once again but he’s glad to be back in balmy BC but secretly I think he was in his glory slogging through the slush and snow here in beautiful Ontario!

I’m sure you’ve all heard or read about the California couple that stumbled across the 8 cans of gold coins buried in their yard down in northern California. Well, isn’t that a metal detectorist’s dream? They didn’t even have to resort to using one to find their $10,000,000.00 almost buried treasure! It was sticking out of the ground at the base of a big old tree on their property. I guess they figure that some old gold prospector back in the 1800’s buried the cans in his back fourty for safe keeping and then kicked the bucket without telling anyone where he hid the stash! I’d be willing to bet that there are a lot of people digging through their family history to see if their ancestors ever owned property in the hills around San Francisco. Nobody knows the location of the lucky couple but when they become known and trust me, someday they will let it slip, someone will lay claim to the gold and try to take it from them! Obviously someone owned that property before the present owners and no doubt there is a record somewhere of previous ownership and possibly a record of who those coins were given to in exchange for his bag of gold. There won’t be any bank records of course but someone in the San Francisco area had to buy that miner’s gold and that means there should or could be a record of the transaction still in existence. The finders are very wise to be making an attempt to keep their good luck quiet but unfortunately someone will open their mouth somewhere along the line and they’ll be running for their privacy once again! It’s like winning the lottery and trying not to let anyone know, you just can’t keep something like that under wraps for long. Oh well, if nothing else, it inspires the rest of us to watch where we step and actually see what we’re looking at when we do look down. Kinda makes me want to get out with the metal detector as soon as the snow melts. Unfortunately, there never was a gold rush here in Kitchener so no sense digging in my back yard! Actually, the only metal I’d uncover if I did dig in our back yard would be the crushed remains of the swimming pool that the previous owners had buried before they put this place up for sale when we bought it! I guess it was a cheaper way to get rid of the pool than paying someone to haul it all away, but to my way of thinking they were foolish to do it that way. Oh well, it’s been there for 16 years now and I’m sure it’ll be there for many years to come. Maybe the owners of this place 100 years from now will find it sticking out of the ground some day, who knows?

Well, that’s about all for this week!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now … Greg

PS: Something To Think About>
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst!

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Have a good one..
the doug
http://www.thedougsite.net
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