The
Squamidian Report – June 11 / 11
Issue #472
Including:
The Ontarion
Hi All,
We were standing on the back deck the other evening, enjoying some rare sunny warmth. Off in the distance we could hear what sounded like a cross between thunder and dynamite. I’ve heard that sound before. Unless I’m very mistaken, it was avalanching happening in the mountains across the valley from us. There are high snow-covered ridges capped with incredible cornices and those cornices are starting to let go. We can see them from here. They are tones of snow and ice and crash down the mountain sides like freight trains going over a cliff. Kinda cool actually.
Wouldn’t want to be in the way of one. Avalanches tend to clear everything from their path. There are slide areas know as chutes on most of the steeper slopes around here. They grow grassy plants and even scrubby brush up to the altitudes that growth can happen. But they don’t grow anything taller than the normal snow depth. Every time a slide comes down, it clears everything. Hard to believe that soft fluffy snow can be as destructive as it is but soft fluffy snow is neither soft nor fluffy. It is like high velocity concrete and there is very little short of bedrock that can stand for long in its path.
Now onto a somewhat different topic, although related in that both are the result of gravity… I had done a run into Horseshoe Bay to meet up with some members of my motorcycle chapter. Normally I park my bike on the street that faces the waterfront. There were no available parking spots so I went around the block and backed into one of the spots I usually ignore. We had our little meet-up and when it came time to head home I headed over to my bike. There, in a splat the size of a small pizza, was the remains of a huge serving of bird poop, spread right across the lid on my tour-pac (the trunk on the back of these touring bikes). I was parked under the cross arms of a hydro pole and it would seem they are a very popular sitting location for some of our super sized west coast feathered flying garbage eating squawking birds.
The generous dose of oozing guck was running down the sides of the tour-pac. It was like a small dog with the runs had been sitting high above on the hydro pole. At least the tour-pac is made of plastic or some such material. Had I been backed in another foot the mess would have been all over my leather seat. That would not have been nice at all. Anyway, I actually hoped I would run into rain on the way home to at least rinse some of the stuff off but no such luck, I only run into rain when I don’t want to. Once home, some warm soapy water took care of the cleanup. So you see, gravity brings avalanches down the sides of mountains, and it brings bird poop down from birds perched on overhead utility installations. The mountains don’t care, the birds probably enjoy it.
doug
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THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello everyone!
Well, we’ve had a few beautiful days now and I’m hoping for a few more of course. With my 10th lawn mowing under my belt the grass is looking pretty darned good this year. I have a neighbour on my driveway side that is not what you would call a “yard maintenance” type person. He has two sons one 21 and the other is 19 and they are both at home. Last year he and his wife purchased a Midas Muffler shop in Mississauga and they are down there from 5am till late evening most nights. I understand that they do not have a lot of spare “yard work” time but when your lawn gets to be over a foot in depth and looks more like a wheat field than a city lot, it’s time to make an effort to cut the damned thing wouldn’t you say? Ever since this couple moved into the house 10 years ago their lawn has looked poor to say the least! I was just contemplating saying something early last week when all of a sudden around supper time I heard the sound of a power implement echoing between the houses. I waited about a half hour till the motor stopped and after a few minutes passed I decided to take a look over and see how things looked. I stepped out onto my driveway with the dog under the guise of letting the pooch have a pee and glanced over at Joy’s place. (Joy is his name and her name is Nina and they are East Indian and usually nice neighbours) I was in for another shock when I realized that someone had taken a “Whipper Snipper” and hacked away at the 14” or so of grass until it looked like one of those mysterious “crop circle” thingies that you see on the news! I should have known that it didn’t sound like a lawn mower running, after all, their oldest boy had appeared three times in the previous weeks on their driveway with their new (last summer) and hardly used lawn mower and was unable to get the thing going. He must have pulled at least twice to try to start it each time out and when it didn’t go he’d wheel it back into the garage and close the door. I guess he decided that the Weed Eater would be better than nothing to take down the spring wheat crop! However, he was mistaken indeed! He just managed to make one helluva mess of things and then left it for another day. Sheesh! Will wonders never cease?
In desperation over the past 10 years I’ve tried in vane to urge them to cut their lawn more often by running my mower up their side of my driveway curb. That foot of my property is adjoining their front lawn and I figured seeing it cut would entice them to mow their lawn as well. This past couple of months I decided to let that foot of my property grow along with their front lawn and see how long it would take them to mow their yard! Well, it finally happened! Two days ago someone finally got their lawn mower to start and made an effort (feeble as it was) to cut their grass. The lawn was so long that it was another mess of a Crop Circle when they finished cutting it. I saw the oldest boy out with a rake after cutting and he filled three of those Huge Paper “Yard Waste” bags with the clippings. I guess the bag on their mower wouldn’t handle the heaps of grass that the mower hacked down like bundles of hay! The result was a trio of paper bags for the “Yard Waste” truck to pick up this garbage day! I must tell you, that their front yard is about 2/3 the size of mine and mine isn’t large at all. Their lawn out front is approximately 20’x32’ in size and has two 45’ pine trees growing on it along my side of their lawn about 3’ in from my curb and about 10’ apart! It’s been a few days since they cut their grass now and it’s back up to its usual overgrown length once more. I guess as long as they try to keep it under the 6” mark, I should be grateful! I cut mine last night again and I noticed that when they cut their lawn they were kind enough to refrain from mowing “my” foot or so of lawn beside my curb. It looked like I was trying to grow a hedge between my driveway and their front lawn! Hahahahaaaa…….! Geeze! What a strange predicament indeed! SO, I walked my mower over to their side of my curb and took a couple of passes up the curbside and made it look like part of their lawn. I really did think that once they got their mower running they would be sensible enough to cut the whole damned thing including the strip beside my curb! I guess common sense has nothing to do with it! We always seem to get one useless neighbour beside us no matter where we live and this location is no exception! Thank goodness we don’t have anyone living on the other side of us and it’s up to me to keep that side street boulevard cut along with my lawn. At least when people see that we care enough to keep that side cleanly cut the wheat field on the driveway side isn’t such a bad reflection on our place! I’m hoping Joy will make an effort to cut his more often now that they managed get their mower started but that’s probably just another pipe dream in the barrel of life!
Well, that’s it for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I look forward to talking to you all again next time in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now .. GREG.
PS: Something To Think About>
In case you’re thinking of visiting Iceland you should know that tipping at a restaurant there is considered an insult!
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Have a good one..
the doug
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