The Squamidian Report –
Apr. 30/ 11
Issue #466
Including:
The Ontarion
Hi All,
OH, the joys of having a dog. Don’t get me wrong, I tend to like dogs more than I like most people but they can have their trying times. As an example, ever notice how a dog can be sitting there or laying there and all of a sudden and with virtually no warning, they up-chuck. Right there in front of you. Then, they look at it with a look on their face that says “humm, where did that come from?” and proceed to check to see if there are any items worth salvaging embedded in the runny pile of puke. If there are other dogs near by, they will make a bee line for the sudden surprise to see if they can scoop up any nice warm delightful morsels before someone else beats them to it.
Then there is their single minded determination to go somewhere with no thought what-so-ever about how they will get back. Case in point… we were working away in the back yard building shelves inside our storage shed. Typical 10x12 shed, you fill up the floor space and that’s it, no more room. So, with an armful of 2x4s and a sheet of plywood ripped into sections, we had the materials necessary for shelf construction. Willow (the dog) was obviously hanging around because although we must be doing something of interest, she hadn’t quite figures out just what it was, or at least of how it could be of interest to her.
At some point ‘The Wife’ asked where Willow is, as in, “where’s Willow?”. I answered with “she’s right here” but we realized that neither of us could see her. We called, expecting her to come popping out from under the back deck where she likes to rummage around looking for whatever her imagination has convinced her is living there. Next thought was that she was up on the deck, asleep in the sunshine and didn’t hear us call. But no, she was nowhere to be seen. She can’t get out of the back yard unless we let her out but she didn’t seem to be there. Then I had a thought (imagine that!)
Willow has always had the idea in her bony triangular head that there could be something of interest under the shed, the very shed we were building shelves in. The shed sits on a wooden decking that is raised just off the ground on posts. However, the ground under the shed drops off a bit toward the back, and sits about 8 or 10 inches out from the fence. I looked behind the shed and there was two sad eyes and one nose poking out from under the decking. There was not even room for her to get her whole head out. She whimpered a bit when we made eye contact but did not try to crawl out, there was simply no where for her to crawl to. The only way I could figure she got under there was she had squeezed in between the shed and the deck and then laid down and then, rolled onto her side. That would put her under there where she could squiggle around enough to get turned around, but there was no way she could reverse the maneuver to free herself.
So, I grabbed a shovel and dug a trench on the side near the back corner. She waited while I was digging, at least she was smart enough to not struggle and not get in the way of the shovel. When I thought the trench was deep enough I called and she tried but again backed off. We needed more depth and more length. I dug some more and finally she was able to squiggle out on her side. We were greeted by a happy but sheepish dog. She was quite pleased to be freed from her prison and very grateful. However, I have a good idea of how a dogs brain works and immediately blocked any access to under she shed that she might deem usable. After all, once the trauma was over with, she would start thinking that now she had a way in and out. And sure enough, ten minutes later she was studying the now blocked trench looking for a way back under. Two minutes after that she was sound asleep in the sun and the whole thing was forgotten.
doug
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THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello Everyone!
Well, it’s that time once again, time for another Royal Wedding! I think we could pay off Canada’s national debt with the money being spent on this event. Of course the Queen is footing the bill I’m sure. Looks like the young couple will be renting for the first few years since the military doesn’t pay much and it wouldn’t be right for a princess to work for a living! Some day “Wills” as his friends and family call the Prince will be the King of England but until he reaches that status he’ll just have to put up with being third banana. You see, his daddy Prince Charles is the “real” next King! Am I missing something or did Prince Charles volunteer to step aside? The media keep referring to Prince William as “The Future King” so I guess that could mean he’s got to wait his turn in line behind Prince Charles and I guess that’s only fair. It could be a long wait for him since his grandmother is still not done ruling the roost of the British Empire. She seems to be taking after her mother for longevity so that could give her another 15 years of time on the Royal Throne! She was born on the 21 of April 1926, which makes her a recent 85 years of age. Since Charles is already 62 years old he’d better watch his health or she may just outlive him and Wills will be the “next” King!
I’m writing this on Thursday evening so the wedding has not yet taken place. It sounds as though there will be a lot of “Royal” watchers that will be staying up or setting their alarm clocks and getting up to witness the Royal event at 4am our time. Let me tell you, I won’t be one of them. I’m sure I’ll see enough reruns of the wedding over the next few weeks on every network news show available. If this is half the event that Chuck and Di’s wedding was it’ll be in the news for more weeks than Watergate or President Bill Clinton’s oval office “Oral event” and neither of those events had near the number of invited guests as a British Royal Wedding!
Moving on:
Hasn’t our weather been the pits lately? Of course I’d much rather have ours than that of the lower United States! We have friends that are in the process of leaving Florida in their huge motor home on their annual journey back to their New Brunswick home for the upcoming summer. They are having trouble dodging the tornados that have plagued the southeastern states lately. They’ve been trying to leave Florida for the past three days but have been waylaid in St Augustine waiting for the bad weather to finally settle down. I can’t imagine the terror they might experience while driving a 40’ monster motor home on some interstate highway in the midst of one of those twister-infested storms that are hitting the south. They wouldn’t stand a chance of staying upright let alone on the ground! My friend Paul has good common sense and I’m sure he’ll handle the trip with good judgment. They spend six months in Canada and six in Florida every year so they’re used to making the run up the east coast. This year is the first that they’ve done the trip in a very large motor home though so it’s quite different than driving in a car I’m sure. I’m already thinking they will be considering going back to the car after having to foot the bill to keep that giant vehicle fuelled up at the current cost per litre or US gallon of diesel. I’ve had e-mails from Paul telling me that he’s put as much as $500.00 in the tank at one stop. Now that’s a costly fill up if ever there was one! He may just have to sell off that Cadillac SUV he’s towing behind the coach and get a used Corolla for that purpose. Maybe then he could bank some gas money for next year’s cross- country adventures! LOL! I’m sure he’s not really worried about the cost of fuel for his “Toy” or he’d never have spent the $120,000.00 on a hobby vehicle like that in the first place.
Me, I’ll stick to our ’79 MGB and my motorcycle for fun vehicles. At least they are both economical to run and I think also more fun!
Well, that’s about it for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now… GREG
PS: Something To Think About>
When I worked at a Supertest gas station when I was 15 the cost of gas per gallon was $0.32 and I did the pumping for the customer as well as cleaned their windshield, checked their oil and topped up their windshield washer fluid at the same time. My my how times have changed!
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Have a good one..
the doug
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