The Squamidian Report – May 3 / 08
Issue #310
Including:
A Note From Russ & Barb
From the Shores of Lake Huron
The Ontarion
Hi All,
Don’t you just hate it when a service provider who gives lousy service while charging an arm and leg goes ahead and makes changes that render their service even less useful?
That’s exactly what our cable and Internet provider, Shaw Cable, did. They changed all the channels around, omitting some and inserting others. Mostly they moved or removed the few stations that were of any interests to me at all. But the worst thing they did was move and change the Weather Network. It used to be on a nice easy channel to find and it gave us our local weather. Now it gives a vague generic version of Whistler’s weather. That’s of no use to us at all. We don’t live in Whistler, we live here.
So I’m one step closer to dropping Shaw as my Internet provider. Don’t know what the last straw will be but it is getting closer.
*
Quite a while ago Greg told me about a TV program called ‘Long Way Around’ in which a couple of British actors ride all the way around the world on BMW motorcycles. At the time I couldn’t seem to find the program on TV to check it out and just sort of forgot about it. Ryan somehow got a copy of all the episodes in their uncut version without any interruptions or commercials. The copies are in .avi format for viewing on a computer. So that’s what I have been doing.
The episodes make for quite an interesting adventure. The riders depart from London, England and head east through Europe and on into Russia. From there they drop down into Mongolia. From there they go north up into Siberia and then fly to Alaska, ride down through Canada into the States and on to New York where they fly back to England.
The politics of riding through Russia and Mongolia and other eastern countries is fascinating. They are treated like celebrities as long as they keep greasing the palms of every local dignitary they run into. They see endless miles of poverty and yet there seems to be an abundance of very well off people as well. Most carry guns. The roads get worse as they ride east. By the time they are well into Mongolia the roads have virtually disappeared and they must follow cart tracks. Bridges are non-existent and they must ford streams and rivers, sometimes riding through water up to their gas tanks.
In Siberia they follow the ‘Road of Bones’ that was built by slave labour, most of whom didn’t survive the ordeal. With no maintenance the road has all but disappeared and they must struggle just to move forward. The bikes take such a beating that the frames keep breaking. Conditions get so bad that they must use the service of local truck drivers to get their bikes across some rivers. The truck drivers make deliveries between the towns that seem to be out in the middle of nowhere, using huge 6-wheel drive trucks that look like larger versions of Wild Wood Warren’s Uni-Mog. Even these vehicles have trouble with some of the river crossings.
When they finally reach their eastern target and then fly to Alaska, they are told that the local highways are in bad shape, being full of potholes but after the experience of riding through Russia, the American highways seem like a dream. The only traffic problems they have come in Calgary Alberta where both of the riders are involved in collisions. One got rear-ended on a freeway and the other got backed into. Neither is injured but both are shaken up. The remainder of the trip a breeze and they finish in New York after 3 months of riding. The whole thing is quite inspirational and reminds you that almost anything is possible if you put your mind to it.
If you get a chance, check it out. You don’t have to be into motorcycles to enjoy the adventure and challenge.
doug
****
Subject: Mathematical Certainty
Thought you might enjoy this --
Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
****
Greetings all. Another month has slipped away and we’re into May. The weather now is more like the first of April instead of may but April was more like May weather. We are finally getting some badly needed rain the kind that really does some good. The last few weeks driving to Kitchener the farmers out working in the field could hardly be seen for dust.
With the cold weather and now the rain I haven't been out on the bike for about almost a week hopefully this coming week I will get out again.
This past week we released 120,00 little salmon into the wild and hopefully we will see some returns back. As I am writing this I am listening to the Ranger game against Bellville in Bellville and in the third period we have a 5 to 2 lead with just a few more minutes left. They seem to be the dominate team in the series also.
This weekend also marks the start of the tourist season in the area. Most of the cottagers and trailer people will start to grace our town again. This summer could be very hard on tourism due to the high fuel prices
We also got an answer back from the Ontario Municipal Board on the Wal-Mart getting the ok to build here. They have started to move some stuff in even though the appeal period has not passed. The other smaller businesses are very happy to actually have them come as they figure it will also help their sales. In that same area we are going to also get a new Canadian Tire store which is long overdue and also a Marks Work Warehouse. There is also another grocery store supposed to be coming (Price Chopper) I believe which is also long overdue. The Independent Grocery store seems to have a license to steal as the are the only major grocery store in Port Elgin.
Anyway I am Going to sign off for now and the Rangers won game # 2 so two more to go for the sweep.
****
Hello
everyone!
We’re
finally experiencing some “April” weather and we need the rain indeed! I
fertilized the lawns the other day and had to have 24 hours without rain so the
stuff would take hold. It was exactly that many hours till the rains came. Do
you know how hard it is to keep your dog off the lawn until the watering of the
fertilizer has taken place? Well I do and it ain’t easy! Bailey was looking at
the clock every ten minutes wondering when the lawn peeing would resume. Thank
goodness I built him that indoor doggie toilet when he was a puppy! He uses it
all winter long but once spring is here he loves to go outdoors. Having to get
him to pee on it for a couple of days was a test. He managed to remember to use
it though and he even did #2 on it as well. He’s a smart Poodle and he got a
few treats along with the use of the indoor toilet. He’s very relieved that the
rain has come and tomorrow he’ll be able to get back to doing his business out
side. If only we had the freedom as human beings! Wait a minute…… I guess
that’s not such a good idea after all! Now that’s not to say peeing on a shrub
wouldn’t happen if absolutely necessary, I’m just saying that that should be a
last resort for humans! Dogs do a lot of things at the drop of a hat that would
be a tad awkward for humans to do. Can you imagine lifting your leg or
squatting on anybody’s front lawn whenever the urge hit you? Or humping the leg
of the person next to you on the elevator just because they smell good? Not to
mention licking whatever caught your fancy whenever and wherever you took a
notion to do so? What a strange world it would be if humans acted like dogs.
Hey, now that I think of it, it would be even stranger if we started acting
like cats and burying our dodo jobs in anyone’s front garden! I hate cats!
Sorry to all you cat lovers out there but dogs are much more lovable than cats
and have a much more forgiving and loyal personality than the feline species as
well. I think I’ll keep my dog thank you very much! (Oops…. I mean I think
we’ll keep Carole’s dog!) Bailey is actually hers but we all tend to take care
of him and love him as our own!
The
success of the fertilization of the lawn should be known within a few days to a
week. I actually cut the lawn the other day for the first time this season. The
mower started first pull and while I was pushing it across the front lawn I
realized that it has a kinship to my new motorcycle. My new bike has the power
plant that is used in the Kawasaki “Ninja” bike and my lawn mower is also
called a “Ninja” but is made by Snapper Lawn Equipment Ltd. What a coincidence!
Guess that’s
about it for this week.
Thanks
for tuning in and I look forward to talking to you all again next week in The
Ontarion Report!
Bye for now.. Greg.
PS:
Something To Think About>
What if
all the nations in the western world simply refused to pay the middle eastern
oil nations any more than $25.00 / barrel? I’m sure it would take about 3 weeks
of storing those huge quantities of crude until they had no more room to put
another gallon and those greedy oil producers would have to give in! Let’s give
it some thought!
****
Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.