The Squamidian Report – Feb. 16 / 08

Issue #299

Also in this issue:

Cruiser Patrol

From The Shores of Lake Huron

The Ontarion

Hi All,

Something that I always do sometimes, although I didn’t do it last year, is pop back to Kitchener for a visit around the time of my Mom’s birthday. So I am doing it again this year. I’ll be flying out of YVR on Monday morning bright and early (Feb. 18). That 3-hour time difference is always a problem when flying east. You have to leave from here early to get there late. Works the other way flying west, you can leave late and still get here early. Because it’s Westjet, there is a connection in Calgary and then on to YKF (Kitchener - Waterloo) from there. I think the flight gets in about 5:40 pm. Kind of neat landing on my old runways.

So I’ll be floating around the KW area for the better part of a week, enjoying Vivyan’s birthday party on the 23^rd assuming someone throws one for her, and then heading home on the 24^th. That should give me lots of time to hook up with various people and check out the on-going changes in and around town. Greg and I will do our usual breakfast at Country Boys, and then check out the local bike dealers. Can’t mess with tradition. And I’ll have to see if the old TSC store is still there. I wouldn’t mind finding an ‘Elmer Fudd’ hat and they are about the only place in the world that might still have such a thing.

Interestingly, Feb. 23 is not only Vivyan’s birthday, but also it will mark the 300^th issue of the Squamidian. So if any of you want to add something to that addition, please do. Just Email your work to me like usual and I’ll get it through Web-mail on the laptop assuming I can find a high-speed connection somewhere. Or, you can hand it to me in person or even dictate it if we happen to bump into each other.

Something else that will be interesting will be to see if my three pieces of pie are in the freezer. You see, when I was taking part in the Christmas Eve gathering at the homestead over the phone, I requested that they set aside one piece from each of the three different kinds of pie that they were enjoying and put them into the freezer so the pieces would be waiting for me when I arrived in February. The interesting part will be to see in anyone has beaten me to those pieces of pie. You just never know what brother, cousin, niece or nephew might have intervened to deprive me of my prizes.

We’ve been a bit slow at work for the last few days. Our cold snowy rainy winter has affected what work can and can’t be done, and what new work can and can’t be started. It’s not at all a problem for me, they know that I don’t mind missing out on some work time. There is always other things to do that are more interesting or more fun. It makes more sense to let the young guys who have car payments and rent and stuff like that have the hours. So everyone is kept happy and that’s a good thing.

Ironically, in the last few days we have also had weather that was almost seasonal. For the first time in half a year our temperatures approached the ‘normal’ range. The normal high for this time of year in this part of the mountains is about 8 C. We hit that number under clear bright sunny skies and it was wonderful. It was all I could do to keep from getting the Harley out. I did let myself pull the cover off of it and fire up the engine to warm and circulate the oil. And I let myself sit on the bike and imagine those exhilarating mountain highways rolling by under the polished wheels as the engine rumbled as only a Harley engine can. I would have gotten the little Honda dirt bike out and taken it for a toot but it was still snowed in under the back deck. Once the sidewalk around to the back melts off I should be good to go with it because the roads around town were bare and dry. But that may not last because once those few days were over we dropped back down about a half dozen degrees, to sit at temperatures that are once again well below ‘normal’.

doug

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Cruiser Patrol

This is another true story from my early days in cruiser patrol.

Goudie Lane in Kitchener, is an alley used by service vehicles, garbage trucks and police cruisers. It runs behind the Grand Union Hotel, a favourite watering hole with the best draft beer in town.

I was dispatched to the Grand union one night where a female patron was drunk and disorderly. Management had "cut her off" and wanted her physically removed. When I entered the WOMEN AND ESCORT part of the beverage room, the head barman directed my attention to an obviously drunken female sitting at a table with two very large, burly men. Anticipating I might have more than I could handle if I tried to take their female away from them, I got them away from her and told them the woman was in trouble with the police, and if they didn’t want to get involved they should quietly leave by the front door, which they did! Whew! Now, I had only her to contend with. But believe me, a drunken female can be a most difficult situation for a lone male police officer to handle. I suggested she come with me, as she was "cut off" and boyfriends had left. She gushingly said she’d come with me but I had to first sit down with her while she finished her beer. I reluctantly sat down. "Take off your hat", she shouted. Then, she insisted that I join her in a beer, to which I replied that I was not allowed to drink while on duty. She became very loud and shouted, “I gotta pee!" She got louder and more unruly...I thought I was going to have a fight on my hands....me, who never touched a female unless with her consent and then only out of fondness. She was quite a large woman, when I helped her up for a pee, and as I assisted her towards the Ladies washroom, which was at the rear of the building, we stumbled up the steps right past the washroom, and seeing I had the momentum on my side, I "helped" her out the back door into the alley. I couldn’t hold her on her feet, so I tried to seat her on something........a large metal garbage can was handy, so I aimed her at that, and she came down heavily on the lid which flipped out and she went "plunk" into the garbage can! And there she was, arms and legs out, but BUTT in the can so tight I couldn’t pull her out. So, I set her purse down on her lap and left. I never went back. As far as I know, she could still be there.........but, no, that was nearly 40 years ago, somebody would have found her by now. 'Bye now.

Russ, Constable #20 KPD

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From The Shores of Lake Huron

Greetings all!

Well it’s been a couple of weeks since I last contributed. Three Saturdays ago being the computer savvy idiot I am I composed the weekly contribution and sent to Doug except I forget the ‘1’ in his email address hence he never got it. DUMB EH! Last weekend I had friends up from Kitchener for the weekend staring Friday night so I didn't get to the computer. That' my story and I'm sticking to it. I am going to combine the three letters hopefully this week.

Three Saturdays ago I was telling the tales of our first major snowstorm of the winter on the Wednesday prior. I have seen blowing and snow in my life but nothing compared to that day. Every primary and secondary road in Brice and Grey counties were closed. I had made the trip into town to work at the motel job I am doing but should have stayed at home. Working inside was okay but there were times outside you couldn't see more than 10 to 20 feet. Managed to get back home at the end of the day.

Last weekend, like I said I had friends up Friday and Saturday the weather was great. Ah but come Sunday it was another Mega snowstorm again. By mid morning everything in Bruce county road wise was closed again so my friends ended up staying till about 11 Am before heading home. They called when they arrived and said from Port Elgin to Paisley was touch and go but beyond that was clear and great driving.

The old skid steer has been getting a great work out. That first storm, then the following Wednesday after that we got about 8 to 12 inches, last Monday I clean up another 6 to 8 inches and last Wednesday night another 4. Mind you most of it was blown in so all the area roofs have very little snow on them.

When I left this morning ( Friday ) we were getting a lot of snow again but the other side of Mildmay it went from heavy snow to complete sunshine in less than 1/2 a km. It was like someone put up a curtain to divide the two areas off it was basically a vertical change in weather patterns.

By the way I remember the storm in April of 1975 as we were expecting our third child and the Mrs. had a doctors appointment that day as she was due 2 to 3 weeks later. The City had removed the plows from the trucks and we got about 8 inches. The city became a stand still. I had made it into work and phone the wife and told her to forget the Dr. and reschedule her appointment.

According to the radio the other day southern Ontario since Nov. has received about 1.75 meters of snow. Thank goodness we had a few good melts because there would be nowhere to pile snow as I noticed in Kitchener today that the City hasn't been able to keep up with removal along the side of the streets as the normally do on main streets. Well Lets hope the rodent in Wiarton was right and we get that early spring. The weatherman is calling for another major storm Sunday into Monday.

Well I must sign off for now so everyone have a safe and happy week.

Brian

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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!

I’m not sure what it is but this winter has turned into a long long ordeal. I thought it would fly by but even though the days seem to be disappearing quickly, the winter seems to be getting worse and less bearable. I guess it’s just one of those things you experience during a snowy cold winter. There has certainly been lots of snow to blow this year and they say we’ll be getting more yet. That little bugger of a ground hog up in Wiarton is slipping with his predictions I think! He said we’re supposed to be getting an early spring but so far since his big day the weather has gotten colder and snowier. Oh well, maybe if I were still working I wouldn’t notice the weather so much but then again working in this cold stuff was no picnic either. I guess you just have to grin and bear it! At least we’re getting the odd sunny day now and again. It’s a lot worse when it’s always gray over head. So with the sunshine making an appearance to brighten things up maybe spring is just around the corner.

Well, Valentine’s Day is over and millions of roses are now in the hands or vases of the women of the world. They say that more flowers are sold on this day than any other day of the year. I guess they are a thoughtful gift and expression of love but it is a shame that they don’t last very long once you get them home. Surely guys can think of a more useful and permanent gift to give the one they love. Flowers are a nice tradition but they’re temporary. You might say that something more concrete will also be more expensive but when you take a look at the cost of a dozen roses I’m not so sure that’s true. There are flower shops around Kitchener Waterloo that were charging upwards of $75.00 for a dozen large long stemmed roses. I’m sure there are many lovely gifts that a guy can purchased for that amount or less. What the heck, what’s wrong with giving her a case of your favourite beer and a couple of lotto tickets in a nice Valentine’s Day card from the Dollar Store? I think something like shows a lot of LOVE and it’s something that she can share with the one she loves or maybe even with you! LOL!

Gotta go for now!

Thanks for tuning in and I look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now… Greg.

PS: Something To Think About>

There once was a boy named Cupid

Whose arrow was usually true

He aimed at the heart of his girl, dropped a fart

And hit the poor thing in the shoe!

How stupid!

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The Family Site:

http://members.shaw.ca/doug_b/