The Squamidian Report – Feb. 2 / 08

 

Issue #297

 

Also in this issue:

A Story From Russ

Snowstorm Memories From Gale

The Ontarion

 

Hi All,

 

Have you ever come across an item in a store that was so useless that it made you laugh out loud? I was wandering around in our local Canadian Tire store looking for windshield washer fluid. Our local CTC is a fairly small store compared to most and specializes in being out of stock on as many items as possible, if it carried them in the first place at all. They also have staff that goes out of their way to avoid customers, so if you can’t find what you are looking for yourself you are usually out of luck. I did manage to find some washer fluid, or at least I found the last of what they had, tucked well out of sight on a bottom shelf in a back corner. You would think that a CTC located halfway between the city and Whistler would be well stocked with all the conceivable driving needs and have them out where they can be found to cash in on all the motorists who head up the highway from Vancouver un-prepared for winter and mountain highway conditions.

 

But no, that would be way too logical and would put them in danger of actually selling something which would create a dilemma because then they would have to re-stock the shelves again. Wouldn’t want that, now would we.

 

Anyway, once I had nabbed my washer fluid I strolled up and down a few isles just to see what was or wasn’t there. On the ends of the isles they have display shelves loaded with ‘impulse items’ designed to catch your eye and remove money from you pocket. Here was where I spotted the item that made me laugh. How about a nice shiny new… now get this… SOLAR POWERED FLASHLIGHT !! On the surface the concept is ludicrous. Who needs a flashlight when there is enough solar energy to power one? You already have lots of light around. So thinking deeper, there has to be a storage capacity built into the light. Fair enough. But think deeper than that. Where do most people store their flashlights? Not on the dash of their car or on a sunny window ledge, but in the glove compartment or a kitchen cupboard. Neither of those places is known for their abundant sunlight, so when you need it the most, the light will be dead. I guess things like this get invented just because current technology lets them be invented, but somehow I just don’t see these things catching on all that well. And no, I didn’t and won’t be buying one.

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Long-time readers might remember I’ve talked about the huge maple trees that grow in the Coastal Mountains with their giant leaves, and branches covered with moss and ferns. I’ve described the thick green coat of moss all up the trunks and all over the branches, with the ferns growing on top of the branches. I’ve stumbled onto the reason for the moss and fern growth. The bark of these huge trees is rich in calcium, making growing conditions perfect for moss and epiphytic licorice ferns. (I haven’t been able to figure out what ‘epiphytic’ means, but that may be because I’m too lazy to look it up).

 

The thick layer of moss builds up a layer of soil giving the ferns a fertile garden way up on the branches to grow in. Now here’s the kicker…those very branches themselves send out roots into that soil so they too can partake in the nutrients available. How’s that for cool?

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The Vancouver Motorcycle Show was last Sunday. For some reason they don’t actually hold it in Vancouver but way down in Abbottsford instead. So that made it a 2-hour drive from up here in Squamish. We went with our biking neighbours and made an enjoyable day out of it. Needless to say, we drove in a car rather than biking. Our Ice-age style winter has necessitated the bikes being put away till spring comes.

 

There were displays from all the motorcycle manufacturers with all the latest and greatest products there to tempt the consumer. It was kind of nice to brows through without any of the new shiny machines causing any envy what so ever. We already ride the best so there is no need to ‘move up’ from there. What was just as interesting were all the peripheral displays. Booths of add-ons and parts, bells and whistles, all sorts of goodies were everywhere. Leather vendors also had big displays with great prices on all sorts of riding apparel. All I purchased was a set of fancy handgrips but I did get a line on some real good chap-pants. They are leather pants that zip up the sides like chaps so you can easily put them on over your street cloths giving the convenience of chaps and the protection of pants. They had sold out of my size so I’ll probably order a pair on-line.

 

One thing that never seems to change at this type of show, the motorcycle displays all seem to be ‘manned’ by scantily clad young women. Our wives would cattishly remark on their choice of hairstyle or whatever, while we couldn’t even recall noticing their hair. Funny how that works.

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And one last piece of business. You may recall that I’d mentioned a couple of weeks ago some big changes coming along. Well, Sue has given up on the bank manager thing she had been doing for the past 2 years. The politics and stress were simply more than she wanted to deal with. Most bank managers reached that level by being hungry and aggressive and climbing over the backs of the people under them. A bank manager’s boss is a DVP, and that person got to that position by climbing over the backs of his or her managers. Sue’s branch performance sat at about mid-way in the district she was in. The DVP would constantly push for her to be higher, with higher sales and other scoring factors. Those branches ahead of her would be pushed to be #1, and #1 would be pushed to do even better, and so on and so on. Then there were the internal staff problems and customer issues, not to mention robberies etc.

 

The opportunity to return to Audit division came along, she could get back into her old position of Senior Auditor. So she jumped at it and is now a Senior Auditor for Western Division again. As of this week she will be back on the road traveling all over the country and doing what she was very good at. So all is well. I get the house to myself during the workweek and she gets to do laundry and groceries on the weekend. How great is that, eh?? Life is good !!  J

 

And by the way, right up to and including her last day in the branch, Sue had to drive into the city from Squamish extra early each morning to get the branch ready for opening. You see, we have been having a series of snowstorms, some depositing several centimeters of snow in the Vancouver area and a foot of the stuff each time up our way. Her staff is predominantly Asian and they are the most freaked out bad drivers in the world under any conditions. The minute 3 snowflakes are visible in the air they all panic and even though they live within a few miles of the branch, they just can’t seem to get there. Kind of funny, when you think about it.

 

doug

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A Story From Russ

 

Influenced by my uncle, Harry Elsley, I became interested in a career in electricity, so I specialized in that subject at K.C.I. Back then, one had to have (correct me if I’m wrong), six years experience and full knowledge of electrical theory and the Rules established by Ontario Hydro before one could apply to write an exam.  The successful survivor of a written and oral exam was then granted a Journeyman (now Journeyperson) Electrician’s license which was his ticket to do electrical work.  Strangely enough the License was issued by the City of Kitchener, and cost $2 per year.

 

If one stayed in the Trade long enough, and acquired sufficient knowledge, upon successful application, be granted a Master Electricians License.  All electrical contractors had to have at least one Master on the payroll. Would you believe it?  I held a Master’s License before I had my Journeyman’s License!!  But that’s another story.

 

It was a long rugged road that seemed up hill most of the way, to accumulate those 6 years experience as an Electricians Helper or Electrical Apprentice.  Often having 3 or 4 different jobs in a year, I worked for most of the Elec. Cont. in the area.

 

Have to tell you about this one job I had for only a few months.  It was with Bergen Electric, a small family business, which consisted of Mr. Bergen (owner), his son(about my age, and just passed away last week), and a female clerk, who also ran the office.  I was paid $6 per week, had Sun. & Wed afternoon’s off.  Absolutely no experience, they put me to work sweeping floors, cleaning windows and emptying wastebaskets.  The store, some of you may remember, was located on King St., West in Kitchener (formerly, called Beerwagon Electric), and had a beautiful showroom of electrical fixtures, many of them hanging on tracks from the ceiling.

 

One day when Mr. Bergen and I were alone in the store, a lady came in to look at chandeliers.  She took a long time, as I remember, then decide on particularly large eye-sore hanging directly above a showcase with glass top and shelves. While he made out the bill, Mr. Bergen told me to take the chandelier down from the track, like I said, no experience...CRASH!  Right through the showcase and shelf below!  I never knew there were so many shades of red or that so many unflattering epithets could come out of one man’s mouth.  I think he was angry, he said I’d have to pay for all the damage and he’d take it out of my pay!

 

Sometime later, while sitting on the John (the only one in the store and located in the basement, which served as the storage area, doing the math $1200 @ $6 per week..... it would be the longest I’d ever held a job).  So, after using large gobs of paper (I wasn’t used to a flush toilet.... coming from a farm with an outhouse), I flushed the toilet and went upstairs to continue with my menial chores.  I never saw the office girl go down but I sure heard her come up!  Screaming "THE TOILET`S RUNNING OVER.......WE GOT A FLOOD!!!!!!!"

 

Yes, all the cardboard cartons on the floor quickly began soaking up water.  I don’t remember much after that...except that that job didn’t last long either.  And Oh yes, I would run into Mr. Bergen again on my quest for a Journeyman’s License, but that is another story.

 

Russ, Electricians Helper.

 

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Hi Doug - for the Squid if you want -I meant to do this last week but ran out of time…

 

Snowstorm Memories

 

Today is a snow day and most teachers are ecstatic (not to mention the kids!) except for me.  I am missing out on a day's pay - I have a seven-day booking with a bunch of ankle biters.  Anyway, this so-called snowstorm reminded me that I meant to write last Friday because that was the anniversary of another snowstorm that made some (dubious) history 30 years ago.  The historical part was that the barometer made the biggest "fall" ever recorded.  However, the last thing I was thinking about that day 30 years ago was the barometer.

 

What I remember from that day is that I needed to get some groceries if, indeed, we were going to be snowed in, so, after school, I picked up Ewan from the babysitters and headed to the then existing Zehrs at Eastwood Square on Ottawa Street in Kitchener. A couple of factors enter in at this point.  One is that both Sue and Heidi worked at the TD bank in that plaza and that I was a 10 month pregnant lady ( ? - the question mark is for my brothers) driving an old gray ( as compared to silver) VW without heat.  When I came out of Zehrs, I bumped into Doug who had come to pick up Sue and Heidi in his little red 4 wheel "something".  He suggested that Ewan and I come with them and leave the car until later in the weekend - in those days you could do that without being ticketed to death.  I pondered the idea and finally decided to do just that.

 

Well, that drive home!!!  There turned out to be absolutely no way to go down Ottawa Street past Homer Watson.  It couldn't be done at all, even with a red 4 wheel "something", so we had to take a round about route.  When we finally got to the corner of Ottawa and Strasburg and almost home, we got struck from behind by a city bus.  Even with that bus up against our bumper we couldn't see it and Doug had to get out and feel his way back to find out what was there. Heidi got a bump on her head and we were all rather scared but, otherwise, no damage because the bus had just been inching along in the total whiteout.  When we finally arrived back at Doug’s a few of us were in tears and some of us still weren't home!  Heidi lived next door and I lived across the street but both houses were invisible.  We needed help to go even that little distance!

 

For years that storm haunted me.  I couldn't help but imagine the outcome if Ewan and I had headed out down Ottawa in that old VW into the "eye of the storm". Those thoughts alone would bring a strong man to his knees!  However, I have since learned from Doug, who had barely made it into the plaza that day in his little red 4 wheel "something", that, in no uncertain terms, would he have let me venture out on my own.  It might sound weird, but it was such a relief to learn that it wasn't just a whim that got that 4 year old and his very pregnant mom safely through that historic storm 30 years ago.

 

Oh, and that unborn baby?  As we speak (write), he's out in this snowstorm enjoying himself on Mount Trashmore on a very unsafe inner tube that his goofy mother gave him before she grew up!

 

Gale

 

PS. Where were you on that historical day?

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Editor’s Note: That little red ‘something’ was a 1972 Toyota Landcruiser 4X4. I'd forgotten about that storm. The storm only dumped about 10-inches to a foot of snow but the winds were blowing it into massive drifts and visibility was completely zero. That weather bomb storm only lasted a day but it took several days to clear all the buried and abandoned cars from the city streets. Many people spent that night in the houses of total strangers.

 

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THE ONTARION REPORT

 

Hello everyone!

 

Does anyone remember when a snowstorm meant hours of shoveling by hand? I don’t know when the snow blower was invented for domestic use but it sure wasn’t around when I was a kid. I bought my first snow blower in 1980 when we moved into a new house. I bought a 6hp Sears model. We were having a really snowy winter and I spent a whole day, I believe it was a Friday shoveling out our driveway. I’d no sooner get the drive cleared out and the city plow would fill it back in. That happened three times that day and lucky enough I was off work for a four day stretch and able to keep up with the buildup. After being outside shoveling for at least two hours at a time a total of four times that day I was totally pooped. I swore to Carole that if it snowed overnight that night I wouldn’t be repeating all that shoveling by hand again. We got up the next morning and looked out just in time to see the city plow pass by dumping another 3’ high 4’ wide pile of snow in the bottom of our driveway. I had a cup of tea and got my coat on and headed for the garage. I opened the door and jumped in our Pinto station wagon and had Carole stand at the doorway watching the traffic. When she gave me the “All Clear” I dropped it into “Reverse” and floored that little 4 banger! I went flying down the driveway (it was about 30’ long) literally bashed my way out through the huge pile of snow left by the plow and bounced out onto the street. I managed to stop before I hit the curb on the opposite side of the road. Carole had agreed that it would be worth it to spend the money on a blower. I smiled back at her standing up to her knees in snow on the driveway, waved and chugged slowly down the block. It took me about a half hour to drive to Sears and find the “Snow Blower” department. As I walked in the door from the parking lot, there it was, a big silver mouthed monster with a shiny red 6hp Tecumseh engine smiling at me saying “Here I am big boy, come and get me!” Within 10 minutes, I had the salesman helping me load the new machine in the back of our little Pinto with the fake wood grain “mactac” plastic wallpaper on the sides. Home I went with a quick stop at the local gas station to pick up a two-gallon plastic gas can and some gas. I had purchased the floor model so it was already to go. All it needed was gas to get it heading for the snow pile. I managed to drag it out of the Pinto on the street and get it started so I could blow my way through the “Rockies” and onto the prairies better known as our driveway. What a difference between walking behind a snow blower and breaking my back slugging all that white stuff with a shovel. I was totally sold on power snow removal from that moment on!

 

I’m on my third snow blower in 28 years and I’m sure this latest one will last another 15 years or more. I doubt I’ll ever need to purchase another one. I’m sure Doug thought when they moved to BC that his snow blower days were over because of the mild weather they were getting out there. What a surprise when they discovered that Squamish wasn’t immune to heavy enough snow falls to require the aid of a snow blower. Doug purchased the same model blower that I have and from all reports they are both working just fine. Not to mention that both our old backs are doing just fine as well!

 

Gotta go for now. I’d better get some rest just in case we get more snow tomorrow. We had a pretty good bash of it today and it’s supposed to be warmer and clear for the weekend but…… you never know when the Weatherman might just be wrong in his forecast. I hope the snow storms are becoming less and less as we head toward Spring but I also have no doubt we’ll need the rumble of our blessed snow blowers a few more times before it’s all over for this winter.

 

Thanks for tuning in and I look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

 

Bye for now…. Greg.

 

PS: Something To Think About>

Be kind and considerate with your criticism………It’s just as hard to write a bad column as it is to write a good one! LOL!

 

 

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The Family Site:

http://members.shaw.ca/doug_b/

The Squamidian Site:

http://www.thedougsite.ca

The Biking And Stuff Site:

http://www.thedougsite.net

Have a good one..

the doug

 

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