The Squamidian Report - Feb. 22/03

Hi All.

This report may well be the start of something kind of fun. At least for me anyway. A good friend from back home (yes, I do have friends) with way too much time on his hands has signed on as a columnist. How regularly he writes is up to him, I hope he can come up with something for every week. Welcome aboard Greg :) This thing could turn into a great little publication with info that spans the country from one coast to the other. (Submission deadlines are Friday evening).

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We've got some of our fascinating 3D weather scenery happening again. With moisture fronts rolling in off the Pacific Ocean, the mountains are draped in cloud layers. Our back deck feels like a tree house as we look down onto the clouds in the valley below. There are little clouds following the various canyons as they explore their way inland. Jackie knows what I'm talking about; she has seen them do it. The bottom of the snow line seems to be just above the top of the Chief. When it rains here, it can really RAIN. One night this week it rained so hard the whole house shook. Yet in the morning there was no puddles, no mud. The soil is so granular that the rain just goes right through it and becomes ground water.

Sue wants some topsoil so she can touch up the flowerbeds a bit. Yes (rub it in) people in these parts are working on their flowerbeds. Topsoil as most of us know it is a rather rare commodity out here. What they sell as topsoil is more like gravel with some sticks and grass clippings mixed in. We found a small source, maybe half a dozen wheel barrels worth in our own back yard. The previous owners had one of those plastic tub things that you dump all your vegetable leftovers into. They had never emptied it so it had rotted down into fairly nice thick black stuff.

Kind of interesting shoveling the stuff out. I've piled it for now so it can dry out a bit. Sort of like being an archeologist as I worked my way down through the layers. They sure went through a lot of peanuts. And with some carbon dating I'd be able to tell you when each of their corn-on-the-cob events was. Found a big slimy ball of earthworms in there too. They must curl up together to winter I guess.

Sue was in the office on Monday, then off to Calgary on Tuesday morning. That puts her home on Friday evening.

Good old buddy Clyde suggested that I post all the back issues of The Squamidian on my web site, so I have. That was a lot of work for an old fart like me. Especially when I kept getting distracted by the sun lit clouds in and around the mountains out my window. Anyway, the link is at the bottom of the link list and it takes you to where you can choose the year. Then just choose an issue by the date and away you go. I've done my best to clean them up a bit but even Spell Checker can't keep up with my creative spelling tendencies.

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(Drum roll please.)

THE ONTARION REPORT

It is with great pleasure that I write my First Edition to the Ontarion Report.

Thank you Doug for the invite to tell a little about what's happening here at HOME! You do remember this place don't you? I'm sure you do!

I guess I'll start by introducing my self. My name is Greg Payne and I met Doug 4 1/2 years ago when my wife Carole and son Adam and I moved to Forest Heights area of Kitchener. I was working for the Waterloo Fire Dept at the time. One of my crew members was doing some cement work and offered to pour a patio for us in the new house. He contacted Doug to do the excavating. I must say that I found Doug interesting to talk to from the moment we were introduced. He offered me a ride in his cool "Midget" dump truck and I accepted. I was waiting to have heart surgery at the time and I guess he took pity on me. He figured if he was rude to me or charged me too much, I'd keel over before his eyes! Well, I not only survived the ride in the dump truck but I survived the heart surgery and have been back in top shape ever since.

Over the following 4 years, Doug and I met occasionally for coffee. He was back to our place to help with the relandscaping of the back yard as well as the expansion of the driveway. I actually felt a little guilty

having all this work done by Doug because he never charged me "The Going Rate" as I thought. He (as you all know) is just a kind-hearted person that felt like giving me a break and like most people, I accepted his

generosity.

I grew to look forward to our meetings for coffee and I miss the fact that we can no longer do that. During our discussions at Tim Horton's, we found that we had many common places we used to hang around

when we were kids as well as many common acquaintances in our past. Not to mention that we are only 17 days apart in age (he's OLDER)! One day during one of our coffee sessions, he told me that he and Sue were heading west. I said "bbbbbut, Carole and I haven't even met Sue yet, how can you leave for good without us meeting Sue?" He said in his calm reassuring voice, "relax, there's plenty of time yet"! Besides, she's out of town for the next couple of weeks on business. You'll have lots of time to meet her before we leave!

I was beginning to wonder if Doug was really married and if indeed there really was a person named Sue in his life! Well, within what seemed only days, he informed me that he was leaving the next day with his son Ryan and his 2 dogs for BC and that Sue was already there! Once again, is there really such a person??? I'm determined to find out some day!

This past Friday I received my copy of The Squamidian Report and in it was reference to a picture of Sue located on the Brubacher web-site! I thought, Ahaaa, my chance to see the illusive Sue! I dashed my fingers to the web-site and lo and behold, there she was in all her glory, a lovely.....OWL? What the heck? Foiled again! I'm beginning to think that Sue is a "Virtual" friend that Doug has made up on the computer he's so fond of! I guess Carole and I are just going to have to take advantage of Doug's generosity once again and

visit him in BC to find out if the illusive Sue Brubacher really exists! My God,,,,,, I've suddenly had visions of visiting Doug and finding "Sasquatch" before meeting the ever mysterious Sue!

Well Doug, you opened the floodgate to my sometimes overactive verbal dam so, it's your fault if this tidbit of a babbling contribution is too much for you readers to bare! Until next time I remain your friend back

HOME.

Sincerely...GREG.

PS: And here I thought I'd have nothing to say! Go figure!

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Just for the record, the OWL picture of Sue is closer to reality than Greg thinks. Owls are considered to be 'wise' and they are predators. Sue is certainly wise and there are a few bank managers out there that probably shake in their boots at the thought of her swooping in on them. And it’s that exact same ‘look’ she used when trying to get Ryan to do his homework way back when.

Have a good one,

the doug