The Squamidian Report – Jan. 7 / 23
 

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Issue #1076
Including:

Ewan
Nova Scotia Sus
Russ
The Ontarion


Hey There,

Here we go with another trip around the sun. Lets all have a good one.

An interesting observation: if you give a dog a choice between canned dog food or left over turkey, the dog will choose the turkey. However, if you give the same choice to a crow, the crow will choose the canned dog food. Funny how that works.

Now, I don’t want to flog the Highway Market topic too much more as total boredom is bound to set in, but, I do have one more story that sort of involves that place.

Way back when I was in my late teens, I had attended college for a few months before realizing that what they were trying to teach me and what I wanted to learn had very little in common. So, I dropped out at the Christmas break. I then went to work for the survey company starting early the following January. That in itself was a bit of a shock as winters were cold back then and I was not yet acclimatized to working outside. The common attire for outdoor workers was what we called a ‘kangaroo’ sweater under a green ‘hydro’ parka, long underwear, and double socks inside leather work boots. I had of course picked up my outer wear at the good old Highway Market, and I still had my work boots from having worked during the past summer.

Right from the first day of working outside my feet froze. They would get so cold I could no longer feel them. The guys I was working with seemed to think that was normal, just the way it was, and I’d get used to it. I didn’t get used to it and figured there must be a better solution, a better option. So, the first chance I got (probably the following Saturday), I went back into the Highway Market and headed up to the top floor where they had a very well stocked shoe department. I went in and ran into a guy I had gone to school with that was now working there, and explained to him my cold feet problem. He showed me a brand new product that had just come onto the market called boot-packs which were a leather upper, rubber lower, with big thick felt liners inside that could be removed for drying should they get damp or wet. The only problem was that they were expensive, costing about $10 which was more than a days wages for me. However, I was desperate and purchased a pair. To my total delight, my feet stayed warm and cosy for the rest of the winter. The other guys looked down on my footwear for a while but as the storms raged and the temperature continued to stay way way down, a few became converts and boot-packs began turning up on their feet. There was a couple of guys who held out all winter but by the next year they too were wearing warm, dry boot-pacs. My feet will for ever be in dept to that long gone but truly remembered store.

And now back to the present: we are all familiar with that horrible salt brine liquid chemical stuff that the highway departments like to spray on the roads ahead of expected freezing temperatures. That stuff is very destructive and corrosive. It eats away and destroys not just the metal parts of vehicles but also the electronic and electrical components. It does more damage than it saves. Anyway, we had driven down to Horseshoe Bay last Sunday morning to meet up with some of our biker friends for coffee. On the way the road became became quite wet as we caught up with a tanker truck that was spraying the deicing liquid onto the highway. It was spraying very liberally in order to cover both lanes and the brine was covering every vehicle that came up behind it and as they passed it. It was driving too slow to try to stay behind and we (my truck) were getting drenched so I too chose to pass the tanker, therefor driving through a shower of corrosive chemicals. This bothered me as I envisioned my truck turning into a pile of ugly rust.

I actually woke up during the following night worrying about the potential damage the brine solution would be doing to my truck. So, Monday morning we headed over to the local car wash where I found other drivers washing their vehicles for the same reason. I spent as much time rinsing off the underside and inside the grill area and the wheel wells as I did the body. And once done, I felt a very real sense of relief. In fact, we will start doing this on a regular basis for both of our vehicles because face it, we should have been doing it all along.

doug

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From Ewan

Happy new year all!

When I was a kid my cousins and I would often receive extra presents, in part because we were few. In time many more cousins came along. I’m thankful for big families on both sides, with great people. My son, Quinn, is in one of those situations where grandparents outnumber the grandkids. There are more uncles and aunts than first cousins too. This is one factor which means plenty of presents, but it is only one of many. There is the fact that we are middle aged parents, halfway between very young parents and grandparents. There are pros and cons to that of course, and it usually means a little extra for him. Then there is the whole Hanukkah / Christmas dynamic. In some ways Christmas became very commercial, or rather a whole marketing machine fed on Christmas. Hannukah is not a Jewish version of Christmas, nor is Christmas some version of Hannukah. Over time Hanukkah refused to be left behind. There may be a degree of overcompensation, I’m not yet sure. Definitely though I can say with certainty that it does seem to result in seven times Christmas in terms of volume of presents to Quinn.

But wait there’s more! When I was a kid, one wonderful day I received all the Fisher Price village stuff. There was an airport, a jet, a helicopter, a town, a circus train, a fire truck, cars, people and a few other things. It was fantastic and I played with it a lot. One day it was gone, I’d moved on. No doubt it was from some slightly older kid, and then on to one who was slightly younger. That really was a great thing. Since Quinn was born we did something like that with clothes. Some new clothes were added, some old cloths discarded, some never worn because they were too small by the time they were in season. Others became favourites, some immortalized in the best pictures. Most were packed up and sent along to the next kid.

The trouble is that in some cases this can all work a little too well. Houses are much more expensive than in the past, in comparison to annual incomes. Other stuff though, like toys, is actually cheaper compared to annual income. More and more of it is purchased, then passed along in heaps to other kids. Our neighbour was getting rid of some Hot Wheels sets, they didn’t even make it into the holidays. We need to decide what to do with it. There were three garbage bags! That’s like, I’m estimating, 12% of our house? I’m exaggerating but not by much. My friend Mark handed us his old Lego collection, which will take some time to explore. It is sorted into three cabinets each of 43 drawers, plus a couple of boxes. It’s a childhood of collecting Lego from the late 1970s through most of the 1980s. Many Lego users do not realize that Technic, Lego, Duplo and Quatro (huge Lego for very young kids) are all compatible. This means that older kids can use huge blocks leftover from their younger days as the foundation for large castles, train stations and other monuments made of Lego.

Quinn still really likes toy trains, which have both wooden and plastic tracks. There are tracks from different companies and different generations, some from family who saved it from the 1980s. Most of it is completely compatible. For those which are not compatible there are small adapters available on ETSY which are not expensive. There are very simple blocks now available which are universal train tracks on one side, and Duplo bricks on the other. This means that Quatro and Duplo can be used to make bridges and other implements to support the train tracks. It is all compatible to some extent, and it all has some limitations and bumps to overcome. Add to it Meccano and similar building sets for younger kids and even just plain old blocks, along with just whatever can be found and eventually it can be interesting. It is enough fun that it grows with him, in addition to growing in complexity and overall massive volume. Eventually there is no reason to send any of it along to the next kid until eventually he truly moves on.

Eventually this leads to nationwide computer networks with integrated PLCs with their own mechanical devices. All of it works together and none of it really works together perfectly, with various generations and solutions overlapping and coming together in different ways. That too is massive. That too seems to grow faster than our ability to outgrow it and move on.

So the holidays were great, they really were in all the ways that actually matter. The trouble is that I am writing this from inside a toy box we are making believe is a house! The grown-ups are playing house while the kid plays at being an engineer.

I hope that you all have a very happy, and uncluttered new year!

Ewan

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From Nova Scotia Sus

Christmas has come and gone and now things are getting back to normal. I closed my shop for two weeks for a good break. Winter is almost non existent so far which is not normal for us Maritimers. Today we woke up to a dusting of snow and a bit icy walking. It will be a short winter at this rate...I'm not complaining although a few feet of snow would cover up the mess of stumps and trees that we haven't got to cleaning up yet. It's a slow progress.

Our chickens are back to producing lots of eggs again...they took a break for awhile...not sure why but it happens. Last night I had to rescue one. It's leg got tangled up in some sprigs from the garden we had thrown in their pen. At first I thought it was just being stubborn and didn't want to go in the coop at night. But it was actually stuck. I always close up their trap door at night and was glad I noticed it. For Christmas I got one of those touques with a light on it and it has become very handy.

Keep up the good work with the Squamidian everyone.

Sus

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From Russ


One week old!

Our baby will be one week old on Sunday - entering a world of hope, and fear - her name? Year 2023.

It has taken us thousands of years and we have finally accomplished our goal - Total destruction of planet Earth!

Having polluted the air; poisoned our rivers, lakes and oceans; paved our fields and drained our wetlands; raped our forests; starved our wild-life, and finally, developed robots to kill each other - we now must explore the Universe to find ourselves a 'new' Earth!

*

Meanwhile, did you make any 'New Year's Resolutions'? If so, you are not alone, each January thousands of people 'ring-in' the new year by setting goals. We know this is not a new idea but when, and how did we start this 'nonsense'? Would you believe "The first new year's resolutions date back to over 4,000 years ago to ancient Babylon - and they held a 12-day celebration?" During these 12 days they weren't idle, or getting drunk, they'd plant crops, crown a new king (or pledge their loyalty to the reigning king), and make promises to the gods to pay their debts and return any borrowed items (like wives and tools!) They believed that if they kept their word the gods would look favorably on them for the year ahead. If the Babylons broke their promises they would fall on the bad luck side of their gods.

Fast forward thousands of years "Julius Caesar, Emperor of Rome introduced a new calendar in 46 BC. This new date honored Janus, a two-faced god who symbolically looked back into the previous year and forwards into the new year. The Romans would offer sacrifices to Janus and make promises of good behavior for the year ahead".

Fast forward a bunch to the Middle Ages, "Knights would renew their vow to chivalry by placing their hands on a live or roasted peacock. The annual "Peacock Vow" would take place at the end of the year as a resolution to maintain their knighted values". Is all this history boring you? Maybe you'd rather read about the Knight who was to leave home for months to fight the sacred wars and compelled his wife to wear a chastity belt during his absents. He was hard-pressed to find anyone he'd trust with the one-and-only key to the belt. He finally left the key to his best friend, Eli - and rode off to war. Looking back over his shoulder to his home and loving wife, he saw a man riding a horse furiously toward him shouting,

"SIRE! SIRE! THOU HAST LEFT ME THE WRONG KEY!!!

Getting back to the origin of New Year's Resolutions - by the 17th century resolutions appeared to be common. In 1671 a Scottish lady wrote a diary that contained several pages such as "I will not offend anymore". She wrote this entry on January 2nd and titled the page "Resolutions".

Jumping ahead to 1802, the tradition of making (and failing to keep) New Year's resolutions was common enough that people satirized the practice. Wilkers Hibernian Magazine wrote a series of joke resolutions such as, "Statesmen have resolved to have no other object in view than the good of their country....." (Yeah, right)

And finally, "The first recorded use of the phrase 'New Year Resolution’ appeared in a Boston newspaper in 1813".

Someone once said, "The road to Hell is paved with 'good intentions'" This seems to be true of New Year's Resolutions also. Look at the statistics> 40% set New Year's Resolutions; 80% break their resolutions by 1st week of February, only 8% are successful in achieving their goals.

Here are the most common resolutions for 2023 - are any of them yours?

Eat healthier; exercise more; lose weight; save more money and pay off debts; learn a new skill or hobby;

travel more; watch less TV; read more; find a new job; volunteer with a charity; start your own business;

quit smoking; drink less alcohol; spend more time with family and friends, and here are some of my personal resolutions: eat slower and chew food better; take larger steps and smaller bites; discontinue being a 'couch potato'; tell the truth for a change; be kind to my 'web-footed' friends (a duck may be somebody's mother) Just checking to see if you are still awake.

That was fun!

Russ.

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The Ontarion

Hello everyone!

Well, here we are at the beginning of 2023 and things are not all that bad so far! The streets are bare and driving is quite good because of that! Let’s hope the rest of our winter here in Southern Ontario at least is going to be this mild!

We should just be happy that we are not in the vacation hot spots of Mexico at this time. I just heard that there are many vacation spots in that southern country that are being looted and burned by one of Mexico’s many drug cartels and hundreds of tourists are trapped in their motels by rioting instigated by the Mexican drug cartels. They are apparently burning the buses that were supposed to transport the tourists to the airports for flights back to Canada and the US! This is all the results of the government capturing “el chappo” Guzman who is the leader of the largest cartel in Mexico. He is supposed to be flown to the USA for trial there and his followers aren’t happy about it! Sounds like they won’t stop their attacks until the government releases him from custody!

What a mess! I wouldn’t vacation in Mexico if you paid me to! Staying right here in Ontario is the best thing to do not only because of the dangers of flying but because of the threat of more Covid spread! No wonder we have been sheltering in our home for the past three years and will continue to do so until the Covi-19 problem is solved!

*

Things are bad enough right here in Southern Ontario with all that’s happening crime wise these days! If people are not being shot or knifed and more and more pharmacy’s being robbed, they are being pushed onto the tracks in front of subway trains in Toronto! Now there’s another hazardous place to avoid right here in our own country! Thank goodness Waterloo Region doesn’t have any underground transit system! There’s enough trouble above ground here in the Region!

Speaking of troubles, the so called “Safe” traffic “roundabouts” are in need of some sort of overhaul if you ask me! The crosswalks at each roundabout are a definite hazard if you ask me! They have had many people struck by vehicles driven by inattentive drivers using these roundabouts. The drivers tend to think that they have the ultimate right of way and just maintain their normal high speed as they enter the traffic circles that are supposed to be safer than traffic lights at intersections. What a mistake these new circles are if you ask me! I think the Region should install push button “crossing” lights at all of the crosswalks surrounding the roundabouts. It’s a very dangerous thing to do, using these walkways. Especially the ones along Ira Needles Blvd in Kitchener! The regional councillors don’t want to spend the money but what the heck, what is even one life worth these days?

It’s like any other difficult traffic spot, the governmental body will wait until someone is killed at one or more of these traffic circles before they’ll take it seriously and then MAYBE they’ll do something about the problem!

Oh well, here I am on my soapbox once more!

I guess all of my complaining to the audience won’t solve the problem so I’ll step down again for another week!

Thanks for tuning in and I hope at least our Squid readers will keep the safety of pedestrians more in mind when driving the roundabouts after reading this report!

Thanks again for being here for this week’s Ontarion!

I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now…. Greg

PS: I’m in tomorrow (yesterday) to the surgical table once again to have the cataract in my left eye removed! So, I’m looking forward to being able to see well with both eyes without my glasses after the surgery! SEE you next week through new eyes!

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