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The
Squamidian Report – Sept. 24 / 22
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Of This And Past Issues Issue
#1061 From Russ From Nova Scotia Sus The Ontarion
Hey There, We have been dealing with bears lately. You know, those black things that are big and powerful and come out of the forest to look for food. Normally they come around at night under cover of darkness and rummage through back yards looking for fruits and vegetables and any garbage that has been stupidly left out. Lately there has been a big one that has become quite brazen and has been patrolling the neighborhood during the day. I was out one day for a walk and had that feeling that something was behind me. Figuring it was one of the dogs that come out to see me regularly, I turned around. Not a dog. A very big black bear strolling down the middle of the street. Ok, I’ll just keep on going. That same bear has been poking around people’s yard all week now, during the day. One day he was working his way along, checking to see if there were any unlocked garbage cans or any ripe fruit available. Several people were out on a neighbor's lawn watching. Its what people do. I could see the bear quite well from my front porch but decided to join then. There was some talk regarding whether or not it might be dangerous to be standing there, just across the street from the wild critter. As I walked up to them I suggested that they no longer needed to be concerned, because, now that I was there, they were no longer in any danger. They looked at me rather strangely, wondering what I meant, to which I replied, “you guys are no longer in any danger because I am the slowest runner here”. That was met by a few groans. Did I mention that the bear is wearing an ear tag? No? Well, it is and we all know what that means. It has been trapped once before and relocated to some far away remote location. Unfortunately, it’s found it’s way back and there is no second chance. As it becomes a problem (again) it will be trapped again but this time there will be no second chance. It will be destroyed. We as a society seem to have very little patience for critters who invade our space, forgetting that we had invaded theirs. This
is a pic of the bear as it strolled across the lawn of
the house across the street from us.
And now, we have a nice musical interlude for this week’s optional entertainment. I’ve done a video of a song that kind of fits me quite well. It’s a Bellamy Brother’s song called ‘No Country Music For Old Men’ and laments the disappearance of the old, original, great singers of country music, and the loss of that music itself. I sure can relate as I have no use for the so called ‘modern’ version country music or the people performing it. So, here’s my attempt at this song. Next week I might have an audio version ready and available, we shall see. (a video by me) doug **** From Russ Tipping fatigue We Canadians are known world-wide as "poor tippers' - I for one am proud we have that reputation - that way, we don't have to try to keep up with our American friends, who have the reputation - - well, you know. Even though I'm against the practice of tipping, I find myself tipping more people now than ever - and more than ever. First of all, I don't mind tipping Service Industry people earning "minimum wage" (one can't live on that!), but, here is just a sample of others whom I find myself tipping: restaurant servers hair cutters & beard trimmers strippers the guy who plows my snow, and another guy who shovels my walks and decks the lady who cleans my house the persons who make deliveries to my door the kid who cuts my lawn strippers (or did I already mention them?) my driver, etc. But, as I said, I'm against the practice of tipping - I'm tired of it! With me, it began to 'take hold' in a big way during the COVID era, when businesses were struggling to keep afloat. I started at 10%, rose to 15%, now I find myself giving 20 to 30%! I can't afford this nonsense! You might say I'm suffering "tipping fatigue" Please don't get the idea I'm "well off". I'm not - I'm living on fixed pension like most older people who've worked all their lives, and are used to living frugally. I don't drink, smoke, or play golf, and the only charities I'm still able to support are the Red Cross, my church, the government, and strippers. Let's hear from some of you out there - are you a tipper? Why? Why not? Are you suffering from TF? Russ. **** From Nova Scotia Sus Well we are battening down the hatches as sailors would say. Fiona is on her way and may be over us sometime tonight. We have gassed up the generator and got out the camp stove since the power may be out for awhile. We will park our cars in and away from trees. So much to do and I'm sure we will forget something. Even the hot tub is tied down. Water shouldn't be a problem with all that rain coming. I'm hoping the worst of it will be in daylight it's quite hard to sleep at night with all that wind blowing. I'm also glad we don't live by the water. I feel for the people with cottages. Our pond needs refilling badly so the storm will do us a favor. The trout will be even happier. I should have lots to report next week...hopefully good news. What a great Squamidian last week....keep up the good work. Thanks to all! Sus **** The ONTARION Hello everyone! Last week’s Squid was a whopping success! I’d personally like to thank everyone that contributed to it’s send off! I know that all three of it’s main contributors Doug, Russ and myself were and are very happy to be back on track and to have such support from so many of you! Let’s keep up the good work, that makes our weekly efforts so much easier and more worth while! Now all we have to do is come up with enough content to fill another 20 years! LOL! There is always something going on that gives us loads to write about! * Just taking a look around the city of Kitchener is enough to fill a shelf of encyclopedia in anyone’s library! For instance, I just heard on last night’s news that the Oktoberfest celebration for this year has decided to put an end to the “Miss Oktoberfest” contest! They are ending the contestants (beautiful young women) of many years in the past! They have decided to allow any human being of any sex or gender to be allowed to enter the contest and the winner will be known as “The Oktoberfest Ambassador” instead of “Miss Oktoberfest”! So, I said to Carole and Adam that I just might toss my name into the ring for next year. It’s too late to enter this year’s contest so, Next year it is! I hope I can count on the support of all of the Squid members as I walk the boardwalk of Oktoberfest next year! I’m not sure just what my talent will be but I have a couple of choices such as performing a “Stand-up comedy” routine or maybe introduce my lovely singing talent to the multitudes of Oktober-festers! LOL! Hahahahaaa….. I guess maybe I just wrote my first Joke for the performance! Oh well, I have more than a full year to get ready haven’t I? Can you imagine a 74 year old retiree entering such a contest? Thinking about it a little more, I think my only real chance of winning the contest would be the “Beauty” section of the show, don’t cha think? LOL! See, I think I just wrote the second joke of my “Stand-up” show! And, the finale could be, dropping my shorts to moon the audience and judges with my wrinkly old butt! I’d most likely wind up the event by spending the night as a guest of the Waterloo Regional Police for such a winning performance! LOL! Now, on the more serious side of things, hasn’t Fall hit us rather quickly here in the Region? I think that Carole, Adam and I might just take a 6 month trip to visit Australia since their good weather us just starting for this year! I’m just jealous of their half of the year but, even their winters don’t seem to be as bone-chilling as ours! One would think they might experience heavy winters like ours since they are close to Antarctica! Or am I just another dough- head that doesn’t know much about other parts of this world? I guess I could be looked upon as an ignorant foreigner since I’ve often commented on the fact that many Americans don’t know squat about Canada and they live along and share a major border with us! I know we don’t live along or share a border with Australia like the US does with us but I would hope that I know some of the history and features of “The Land Down Under”! However, Karen and Karl will be sure to enlighten me if I ask them to do so! Carole and I have often said that visiting Australia is on our “bucket list”. At our ages, it would be quite a trip to endure but age or not, it would be an amazing trip to take! We are celebrating our 50th anniversary this coming January 19th and we’d love to visit a different country than those that we’ve already visited in the western part of Europe. So far, we’ve visited England, France, Northern Ireland/and part of the south as well as Italy! They were lovely trips indeed but there are so many choices still on the list and to admit it, so little time! Not that we don’t expect to live another 20 years but one never can tell! Fingers crossed, we’ll be mobile for many years to come and the world is our oyster! So we’ll keep on smiling and planning our future! That’s about all I have for this week folks! Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report! Bye for now…. Stay safe and healthy… Greg ****
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