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Issue #1025
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From Russ

The Ontarion

Hi All,

As you know, our rather impressive and repetitive dumping s of snow was finally terminated by last week’s ice-storm. The ice-storm ended when the temperature rose enough for the freezing rain to turn to good old fashion normal rain. Then, it rained none-stop for about 5 days. In fact, we had another one of those ‘atmospheric rivers’ that had been inundating us throughout the fall. That created it’s own set of problems but up our way the snow absorbed a lot of the rain and the rain melted down some of the snow, including the high banks and piles along the sides of the roads. We can now see a bit as we drive along, making intersections less scary but the streets are still narrow goat tracks, just not lined with walls that are as high as they were a while ago.

As snow accumulates, it tends to compress. Therefore, 4 ft of falling snow ends up about 2 ft deep on your lawn after a day or so. Well, after all the snowfall had done it’s compressing, we still had close to 4 ft of snow in the back yard. The only way to get around out there was on snowshoes. I had built a GT Snowracer track for the granddaughters that worked out quite well for them. They could launch from the big pile / ramp by our back deck and slide across the upper back yard, make a 90 degree turn and continue on down into the lower back yard. Of course the thing that would cause them to lose interest was the fact that they then had to pull their racers back up. Olivia was better at doing that then Kyra as she tends to be a bit more determined.

The girls were here for a few days as their mom had to work and their dad had to work. Their dad was working the Covid clinics here and up in Whistler so he used our place as his base and the girls came here with him. Being typical ‘west coast kids’, the rain didn’t faze them at all and they had no problem playing out in the yard for hours at at time. At one point Olivia came in to report to Granny that Kyra was stuck. She had been playing along the side fence and had sunken into the snow too far for her to climb out, swim out, or otherwise get herself unstuck. So, Granny had to come out and give Kyra a tow. Then the girls went back to playing and didn’t come in until their snowsuits were soaked through from the rain, at which time they come in, dump their wet coats and boots on the floor by the back door and continue on until they are told to go clean up their mess and hang their snowsuits up to dry. Somehow they have to be told this same thing over and over.

There is currently no more snow in our forecast, just lots of rainy west coast days and thats ok because it would be good for the snow along the roads to go away for a while. But, its only mid January and there is still lots of the winter season ahead of us.

doug

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From Russ

"Balls", exclaimed the Queen....

I shouldn't have said anything. That was my first mistake. Five long hours later I'm back home nursing another infection "down there". She's sweet, she's persistent, she's Dutch, and she's my "official care-giver". (She's also my daughter-in-law). I don't know whether to thank her for insisting I go to Emerg or rebuke her for making it happen! But, the lady Dr. Thomson said if I hadn't come to the hospital today, I'd be admitted and put on IV tomorrow! It still might happen if the prescribed pills don't do the job!

It seems January is my month for urinary tract infections - Jan. 2020, Jan. 2021, and now, Jan. 2022!

Forgive me for grumbling about it taking 5 hours - some big city hospitals have waiting time in the 'teens' hours!

This next paragraph is for you guys only. After checking my 'vitals', the triage nurse handed me a plastic bag containing that wee little "Dixie-cup", saying, "When you've finished, give it to the nurse in Registration, and take a seat in the 'brown area'. I tried the door of the john - locked. Waited 20 long minutes, convinced the occupant had died in there, before asking an attendant where I might find another facility to make pee-pee in the tiny cup. I won't mention what happened in that newly cleaned toilet, suffice to say - it's no longer clean!

Handing my 'efforts' to the kind, young nurse in Registration (who frowned because the bag was still dripping-wet) she said, "Go to Room #1, the doctor will see you soon". And here's where my 'ride' joined me (He's being patient - not like his usual self - I know, because my driver is also my son, Greg). Here, we waited another hour when, finally Leanne (Doctor Leanne) arrived. "I can't believe you're 92!". Yup, I'm going on 93 and I'm available. "Well, I'm not" she sadly replied. No harm in asking (I'm still healthy, horny, and desperate - I said to myself). At this point another nurse joins us, carrying a gown and blanket. "Strip from the waist down - get up on the gurney, and cover yourself with this blanket. You may leave now" she said to Greg. He showed some disappointment at being asked to leave. As he was leaving, Dr. Leanne asked me,

"Where is the pain?" In my pee-pee, I said sheepishly.

"Is the pain constant, or only when you pee?" It's always stinging, says I. "Any pain in your abdomen?" Yes, and also in my testicles. Why it took two nurses to check my privates, I'll never know!

"Does that hurt?" Lea asks as she presses on my lower ab. Ouch!

"Does this" OUCH "hurt?" she asks as she squeezes my testicles - first one OUCH then the other Ouch (I have two, you know!, and they've been swollen like a pair of "lover's nuts" for weeks!!)

"Good thing you came in early, if you'd left it any longer you'd be admitted and have antibiotics pumped through you veins, with a tube in your pee-pee". NO! I can't go through THAT again!

"Which Pharmacy do you go to?" Shoppers. "I'll have a prescription sent - take one pill in the morning, and one at night"

I'm reading the instructions before starting on the pills ......"Possible side affects - may cause diarrhea, dizziness, abdominal discomfort, nausea and vomiting. Additional information - this medication may interact with other medications, sometimes significantly (Hmm)

Rarely, this product causes damage to tendons, nerves or central nervous system disorders. Contact your doctor if you experience joint or muscle pain, tingling, numbness, weakness or confusion. Reactions can occur hours to weeks after taking the medication". (Also, hmm)

Now, I'm asking myself, "Do I really want to risk all these possible side effects?" Sometimes the cure is worse than the ailment! That was my second mistake - reading the INSTRUCTIONS.

PS; To complete the title, "If I had 'em, I'd be King!"

Russ.

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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!

Well, I finally caught up to Doug in years of age!

We are both 73 now and feeling like Jack Benny’s age of 39! LOL! Of course that’s not true but we’re both here and still kickin’ anyway! From what I can see in the picture he sent me of his pile of snow on the side of his driveway the west has inherited our usual amount of winter white stuff while we are experiencing what is their usual BC amount of snow! That’s ok with me and it can stay that way for the rest of this winter. He’s hoping his Toro Snow Blower will hold up for at least the remainder of this winter. I’m sure it will because I beat the heck out of my Toro of the same model for over 12 years and still was able to sell it for a good buck last month! I’m sure whoever the guy that bought it from me sells it to will still get a couple of years out of the old blister! The way Doug describes their snow situation their city doesn’t really bother to make much of an effort to clear their streets properly! They also allow parking on their streets year round and that of course makes it extra hard for the city plows to clear the snow properly for travel on the city streets! Our plows have been working overtime and I do mean overtime to scrape the bare pavement night after night. I say “overtime” because that seams to be the only time you see or hear them go up the streets of our neighbourhood, during what is I’m sure either time and a half or double time for the plow drivers! I’m surprised they aren’t wearing the blades off the plows due to all the bare pavement they are scraping! I think we’ve had all of 4” of snow over the entire winter so far this year. Maybe we’ll get a lot more in the coming months but the way it looks so far, it’s going to be a mild winter snow-wise. However the temperatures have been extra cold this year and they say we are in for many more very cold days and nights ahead. As you know, we’ve had temperatures in the -27 and more range this past few evenings. I’m sure we’re in for colder ones yet! While we suffer through the “Arctic Cold Air” days and nights, out west in the Calgary area they are enjoying temps in the +10 degree range! Pretty strange weather if you ask me! Oh Well, we’ve seen a lot of strange stuff over this past couple of years and it’s not about to stop any time soon!

*

This week has been a good one for me in that Carole Adam and I celebrated my 73rd birthday on Tuesday and it was a lovely day! We started off the day with a nice breakfast and the opening of a box filled with wrapped gifts to the birthday boy from my lovely wife and my terrific son! They presented me with a box filled with over half a dozen wrapped gifts! It’s always fun to see what they give me on any special occasion due to the fact that I rarely if ever ask for anything specific. This year they gave me the latest film in the James Bond series and two lovely books about the history of that series! I’ve been a James Bond fan for many years and have through their generosity managed to collect every one of the movies in the series! There have been many different actors who have portrayed the Bond character over all the years of the series and of course we all have our favourite star in this position. I still can’t find any one of these great actors that I prefer more than the original of the line up “Sean Connery” and it seems that most fans feel the same way as I do about this! I also received several items to finally complete the refurbishing of our MGB. It seems that Carole and Adam are always able to thrill me with their gift choices and this occasion was no exception! Now I can hardly wait for the warm weather to arrive so I can work on the MG to install the new parts that I received for this recent birthday. It’ll be fun once again to finally complete the MG after what I thought was already a complete restoration! I guess there will always be something that the LBC “Little British Car” will need over the coming years. I just wish I could replace my worn out body parts as easily as those on the MG! LOL! To top off the occasion on Tuesday, Carole cooked up my favourite meal! She presented me with a delicious meal of Pig Tails and mashed potatoes with Creamed Corn on the potatoes! I very seldom eat this sort of a meal since my restrictive diets do not include excessively fatty meals such a pig tails! However Carole treats me with my favourite once a year, usually on my birthday! Carole has a wonderful Mennonite recipe for the pig tail sauce and it’s a “never fail” meal for sure! When we were kids and my dad worked at Burns Meats on Guelph St, we were treated to all kinds of meals that nowadays aren’t good meals if you want to stay healthy! These meals consisted of items such as the pig tails, lots of greasy bacon, baloney sandwiches, Head Cheese and many other unusual meats and animal parts that were favourites of my dads! Funny how kids tend to get used to eating what their parents eat and we ate a lot of other processed meats as well, like wieners and other cold meats, especially on our lunch sandwiches that were packed for us to take to school! I still love hotdogs but I don’t eat them very often since my health problems don’t allow it! The one other item that I love to enjoy on my birthday is of course my beloved Chocolate Cake! Mmmmmmmmm!

Needless to say this item doesn’t last very long after it’s initial slicing on the special day! In fact, I just finished off the last wedge as I sat down to write this week’s column! Oh well, I’m sure waiting until next birthday will only enhance my enjoyment of the next Chocolate wonder! Carole’s not only a great cook, she’s a good baker as well and both of these skills make each special occasion that much more enjoyable! I think I’ll keep her around!

Thanks Carole and Adam for a wonderful birthday and entire week to celebrate the occasion again this year! You both always hit the nail on the head!

Love you both! >>>> Greg/Dad.

Well, that’s about it for this week folks! 
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now…. Greg

PS: Something To Think About>

What’s the next special occasion on the calendar?

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Take Care And Be Safe
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