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The
Squamidian Report – Apr. 16 / 22
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Of This And Past Issues Issue
#1038 From Russ The Ontarion
Hi All, I am fully aware than no one wants to hear any of us go on and on about the weather. And so therefor I won’t, except to say that this past Wednesday, coastal BC set a new COLD record for that date with the official reading being taken at YVR. All the other days have been flirting with the record. Everyone knew we were having a colder than normal spring but now we have proof. I think its a government conspiracy and they are purposely denying us our rightfully warmth. Speaking of things denied, have you ever watched a bird try to land in a tree that wasn’t there? As many of you know, we have Jays out here, not the eastern blue jay, but the stellar jays. They are loud, rude, rambunctious critters and hang around waiting for handouts. We HAD an ornamental ceder tree on our front lawn that had gotten so big it was hiding our front door and ruining our front flower bed. It had to come down. It was a favorite perching place for the stellar jays as well as a nesting tree for them. It had to come down before nesting began. So, I took it down. Then I watched as jays would come gliding in on their landing approach, only to have to pull up their landing gear and hit full power just like an aborted airplane landing procedure. This went on for a couple of days before it or they finally processed the fact that the tree was no longer there. No way of knowing if it was the same very dumb bird and it took a while to sink in, or if it was several birds each of which had to find out the hard way. Even now, several days later, one will land in the flower bed and look up and around trying to figure out what has happened. Oh, did I mention that I dislike long weekends? Actually, I down right hate them and it turns out that this weekend is in fact a long one. Extra long given that it includes Monday as well as Friday. For one thing, it took us by surprise. We had forgotten one was coming. Long weekends are of no use at all to us, in fact, they are a big nuisance. Many businesses are closed which is a hassle. Traffic on our highway here gets even more nuts than on normal weekends. It becomes an unbroken gridlocked line of vehicles reaching from the city all the way to Whistler. I have no idea at all as to where all those cars and trucks will park, no idea how they can all even fit into Whistler. We basically have to shelter at home, no where to go, no way of getting somewhere due to highway congestion if there was somewhere to go. But its fine with me if the rest of you want to enjoy your long weekend. Nothing I could do about it anyway. And one last thing, not really related to the weekend…. Happy birthday Nova Scotia Sus. doug ****
From Russ
Bits & pieces. Had my four S's, & two B's, made a pot of awful-tasting coffee - seated on an inflated egg-carton, and ready to role. During morning ride on 3-wheeler, came upon an adult doe standing motionless in the middle of the road that runs parallel to to Lake Huron - nothing unusual about seeing deer around these parts. She looked me in the eye, hung a left into a private driveway, followed by another adult doe, followed by a half-grow fawn. They were likely headed for the water, but like most lake-front properties there was no access to the lake as owners had built tight to their property-lines, and enclosed all open spaces with shrubs and sheds. There was no way out except the way they'd entered, but I was there - no problem - the adults simply jumped over the nine-foot cedar hedge which ran parallel to the road. Their jump was a thing of beauty - effortless, smooth, and graceful. Not so for junior - he/she decided the jump was not an option, and instead tried to crash through the middle - bad idea - it struck an immovable object with a painful 'clunk'. I cringed. But apparently unhurt, it ran to catch up with mom and her 'significant other'. * No decent barber in Kincardine - had to go South to Goderich. "First Choice" again is trimming beards now that Pandemic Rules have relaxed a bit. She did a good job, was cheerful, and an interesting conversationalist. Did I mention she was cute? I was paying with 'debit', and she asked me what 'tip' I'd be giving (Odd). I was feeling generous so offered 15%. Something went wrong - instead of 'adding' the gratuity to my bill, she 'subtracted' same. What a bargain! I should have offered 20%! * Do any of you use a "heating blanket" in bed? I don't have a wife, and my housekeeper refuses to be a 'replacement'. Mine's been 'acting-up' lately - no longer dependable (heating blanket - not wife or housekeeper). Likely from 'old-age', but each night I get the chills, and find I must turn-on my blanket. Ahh.. that feels good, now I can relax and fall asleep quickly - wait a minute - it's not heating! I fiddle-around with the dial and switch, hoping that will bring the old blanket back-to- life. Sometimes yes, mostly no! Decided it was time to buy a new one - my old one is about 30 - if you can believe that! Went into Wally-mart in Goderich to look for a single-size heating blanket. Typical Wal-Mart, size of Lake Ontario! Had one heck-of-a-time finding one - and I mean "one". That's all they had my size - one! No choice. I bought it. There it sits on a chair in my bedroom, still in its box. Why? you ask - because my old one now works like-a-charm! What's happening here? * Also in the "Prettiest Town in Ontario" is a sort of automobile museum. Son, Greg was driving today, and decided to visit his friend, Ken McGee of Ken McGee Holdings Inc. Greg had some "manuals" for Antique cars for Ken, and we both wanted to again tour of his "Collector Cars, Toys & Automobilia". The show-room was not yet open for tours, but the very kind, and knowledgeable young lady offered us one anyway. We'd both been here before, but Ken is constantly buying/selling old cars, and restoring some so that the display is 'ever changing'. This day, there were 17 'vintage' cars on display. Entering the showroom- the first thing one must do is take a deep breath! The old cars are in 'mint' condition, neat-as-a-pin, and totally, breathtakingly beautiful!! And from one who's not an an antique car buff! The room is not only filled with old cars, but also with old, fond memories. Our dad was infatuated with cars. He learned to be an 'auto mechanic', ran his own garage business, and owned several cars, including a "Whippet", "Willys-Knight", and even a "Cadillac", just to name a few. His wish was always to own a "Cord", but they were more expensive than his Caddy. * I've always owned a car since I turned 16, but can't remember the Make/Model of very many of them - but we know a man who can tell us the Year, Make, and Model of every one he's ever owned - and he's owned a BUNCH! His name is Greg Payne I hope you have enjoyed reading my "Bits & Pieces" as much as I have enjoyed writing my column this week. Uncle Russ. ****
THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello everyone! With my mind on the new family addition in the family of the Cooper S Adam just purchased I’m looking forward to helping him put the finishing touches to the Car! I just received a note from Karl Zeller telling me that he used to have a Cooper S as well and was a member of a sports car club in Australia and used to race his Cooper S! So, I’m not the only British car fancier in the bunch as it turns out! I’m looking forward to receiving a photo of Karl’s Cooper that he has said he’ll send to me if he can find it in his archives! LOL! I wish I still had a photo of my old Cooper S as well but if I ever had a photo of it I’m sure it’s long gone just like the car! LOL! As Karl said, his Cooper was painted Blue with a white roof. Mine was dark blue on the bottom with silver roof posts and roof! Funny how we had similar cars that were a similar colour! I hope he finds the picture! I also had a 1967 mini Cooper that was not the “S” model and it was Red with a black roof! This was another car I wish I still had! Both of my Coopers were a load of fun to drive but the Cooper S was a lot faster than the Cooper since it had a much larger engine! Anyway, they are both history now but are fun to look back on! Now thatThat’s Adam has his Cooper S, it’s bringing so many fun memories of my Mini days back so I’m sure he’ll have loads of fun with his new acquisition and will create a ton of memories to enjoy as well! * On another note, we are having a few days of nice weather this week but I’m sure we’re in for more cold and possibly snow in the coming weeks yet! Since the prairie provinces are being hit with up to 70 cm of snow this week, it’s likely that that storm is heading in the direction of Ontario so …. It’s coming! That’s ok, since the Cooper isn’t ready for the road yet anyway and neither is the MGB derivable in the snowy weather! Oh well, the warm weather will be here soon enough, it’s only Late April! We’ve got lots of yard work and fence repairs to do yet before the fun things can be enjoyed! We’ve already begun thinking of where we can drive together in our Little British Cars so the delay in the warm weather will only give us more time to plan some fun spring and summer drives together! The memories of driving the Minis makes me think of my art teacher at KCI, Mr Peter Pigeon! Mr Pigeon had an MGB that he used to drive in Gymkhanas which are a course set up in large parking lots usually and MG’s and Minis and other sports cars drive through these courses to see which car can do the serpentine course through a set of Pylons the fastest or rather, in the shortest amount of time! When Mr Pigeon found out that I had bought a Mini Cooper, he asked me if I’d consider starting a car club at KCI and of course I agreed. During my time in that club, we had small car shows and some workshop gatherings with other club members to learn about maintaining our vehicles. It was a lot of fun and informative! I also planned and ran a car rally through Kitchener and the rest of Waterloo Region. It was a load of fun and we managed to have every member of the club join in on the rally! Mr Pigeon even financed a few trophies for the winner of the event as well as the second and third runner up! He was only about 10 years older than his students, including me so he might even still be around! I wonder if he’s still interested in British cars? Oh well, I partly credit him with urging me to stay interested in British sports cars since those days and thank him for the fun we had during those last two years at KCI! After I graduated from high school, I continued my membership in TCASC which was Twin City Auto Sport Club, a British sports car club that was not a part of the KCI club. That club folded about two years after my graduation. It was a lot of fun too and we used to set up Gymkhanas in what was the K-Mart parking lot on Hwy 8 down near the Costco in Kitchener. (or is that technically Cambridge?) No biggy, you know where I mean, I’m sure! Anyway, I’ve no doubt kept up my interest in British cars ever since and will like them until I’m on the under side of the grass I’m sure! I’ll keep you posted on the progress of Adam’s Cooper S over the next few months and hopefully he’ll have it on the road for this summer! That’s about it for this week folks! Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report! Bye for now… Greg PS:
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