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Issue #986
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From Russ

From Nova Scotia Sus

The Ontarion

Hi All,

First off, I know I speak for all of us when I welcome Russ back. His wit and humor and outlook are an inspiration and source of amusement and entertainment to all of us. We sure missed him during his absence. He is back now and feeling better, and we are all feeling better because of that. Its great to have you back, Russ.

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Second off, you will have to wait another week or so for more info and pictures about my new motorcycle. The dealer is still waiting for some of the ‘extras’ that I had included in the deal, mostly the saddle bags and related hardware which have yet to turn up. So, just like you, I also must wait patiently for the bike to be ready which is a real shame because this week has seen some spectacular weather out here on the coast. Bummer.

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Some may have noticed that I’ve been doing these little ‘live’ videos for some time now, 38 weekly installments so far, to be exact. Like them or not, you must admit it takes quite an effort to do it and keep doing it. An interesting aside is that I’ve actually recorded more videos than I’ve posted and the reason is that as I work through my playlist, videoing the various numbers, I discover that not all of them come across quite like I thought they would. As I do a number, it plays out in my head and thats how I figure it would play out ‘live’ to someone else. But, low and behold, not all of them come across the same way I’d imagined. Some, when viewed after being videoed, fail quite badly, total flops. Videos like that are not only deleted, but those songs are deleted from my playlist as well. Once I know how they seem to come across to an observer, the overly embarrassing ones are purged. No point in exposing them, or me performing them, any more. I don’t need that and certainly any future live audience should there ever be one anymore, doesn’t need that. So, these videos have been a good way for me to judge my own music and how it comes across, to observe, learn, and in some cases cull the list a bit.

Interestingly, between rejecting some numbers and keeping others, I’m starting to run out of material to record. There are still lots of songs in my playlist that I haven’t yet videoed but not all of them worth videoing. I look at them as ‘filler’, obscure songs that no one would know, or be interested in, but something to fall back on if need be. Many of them are my own original songs, many are songs that for some reason I seem to know from years or decades ago but wouldn’t even catch anyone’s attention. Anyway, one of these weeks my stockpile of musical distractions could very well dry up.

This week’s musical distraction is one of those numbers that will not be noticed by some but will certainly be noticed by others. It’s another Ian Tyson song called ‘Fifty Years Ago’. The song is from the perspective of an old cowboy who, when young, had a fling with a lady working in the ‘service’ industry way back then, like about 50 years earlier. (The song is from the 80’s so 50 years earlier puts it further back than from the present). The cowboy remissness on how things could have been different if he had been willing to give up his cowboys ways and she willing to give up her ‘lady of the night’ ways. Her place of ‘employment’ was called Mona’s and the lady’s name was Juanita. The rest of the story is in the song.

Fifty Years Ago

doug

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From Russ

Retirement living and/or dying.

Facts, figures, and failures.

After two bouts of bladder infection that lead to blood infection and hospitalization this old guy was left very weak and needed time to get his strength back before returning home. My family made arrangements for me to stay at R Villa, a retirement home that also provides rehabilitation.

Facts: Located in Ripley, Ontario, R Villa primarily provides clean, comfortable, accommodation for those who can afford to pay about $100 per day. Clients consist mainly of widows spending their late husband’s life insurance. They appear to range in age from 67 to 97, and wear a permanent pout. This can quickly be changed to a ‘happy face’ if approached with respect and maybe something to make them laugh. We found most are ‘with-it’ and will carry on a conversation if encouraged. Others are shy, a few are “mistrusting” and will have nothing to do with us. During our brief two weeks at the home, we made several friends; a former postmaster who spent 17 years with the Ripley Post Office (she is severely bent-over and has trouble getting around). We never learned her name, but we had something in common – The Blue Jays! We also ‘clicked’ with two Joan’s, four Margaret’s, and several other nice old ladies whose names we never learned.

My dining room mate was Allister, a retired local farmer, who rents his farm to a German fellow. This way he still owns the farm, collects rent, and stays at R Villa for the winter months, going home to his farm for the rest of the year. He owns a large, old, arthritis-ridden dog (Duffy), who stays with Allister at R Villa (special privilege, as Allister lost his wife of 71 years just a few short months ago, and Duffy takes her place). Allister is blest with four daughters who are allowed to visit one at-a-time. Allister confided a secret. He owns an old 2004 Chev ‘Camero’ which is parked outside his door – he leaves without permission, loads Duffy and ‘takes off’. Oh, yes – Allister is a slim, white-haired, proud Scotsman who quietly admits he’s a “Millionaire”.

Men are outnumbered 55 to 6. We spoke with one of the lucky men each day before mealtime. His name is Barry, and he was formerly with the Hamilton Airport. Asked what his job was, he said he was “Jack-of-all-trades” until finally earning a ‘desk job’. Barry and I were always first into the dining room – me because I’m always on time, and he because of his need for caffeine – he told me he drinks 15 cups of coffee with cream and sugar every day! His upper abdomen protrudes nobly as proof! By the way, there were only two ‘smokers’, both men, who went ‘just’ outside the front door – their second-hand smoke spoiling the would-be ‘fresh air’ desired by the rest of us who were seated out front.

Her name is Rose – she is from the West Indies – she wears her hair like a man – she is built like a man – is gruff, and bold, and black. She is also my best friend, and will give me the sweetest, most dainty, and feminine ‘curtsy’ you ever saw! Rose is the Chef – the ‘boss of the kitchen’, her stove is in a room right next to mine, and when the widows are open it’s not hard to tell that Rose is “spicing -it-up” cooking our next meal!

R Villa is well-staffed, they cater to our every need.

“Our wish is their command” as the saying goes.

The “lady-in -charge” is on-the-go every minute! She has everything in order and is on site day and night. Yet, she has a pleasant manner, and time for every single person! She is very concerned about my ‘butt’, and will come to my room regularly, along with a “trainee”, to ‘treat’ my affliction. “Drop ‘em!”, is the order – so I do.

“Oh, yes!” she shouts with joy “This is almost healed” (but, I know it’s not). Now get this; she asked for my address, so she could come to my home when I’m discharged, to continue treating my bottom!! I don’t know what to say – and ‘that’s’ unusual for me! I know she likes me, and wants me to come back to R Villa next winter. (I’m sitting here shaking my head!)

Note: To keep this from getting too long, and to get off my butt and go for a bike ride, with your kind consent I’ll continue this tale next week with Figures and Failures.

Uncle Russ.

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From Nova Scotia Sus

Spring this year has come the earliest I can remember since I moved to Nova Scotia in 1984. Spring was always my least favourite season because it never seemed to happen and then by June suddenly it was summer. Our pond would take forever to thaw and open up since it was so sheltered by trees. We would make bets on when the last piece of ice would leave. I usually bet my birthdate, April 15th and always lost the bet. We would be lucky if the ice left by May 1st. So this year I marked the date as April 8th. We had warm temps in March, with temps in the mid teens that certainly helped. I've been keeping a close eye out for beavers looking for a home. So far none.

Today being the 15th of April and my birthday I decided to fill it with some fun and relaxation. First thing this morning a relaxing massage, then a yoga session and this afternoon I got my first Covid needle. Supper on the barbecue and ice cream and cake for dessert and oh yes a nice glass of wine.

We are doing very well here in Nova Scotia keeping the Covid cases down. Everyone seems to be taking it serious and staying safe. We have seen an upswing in houses selling to people from Ontario looking to get away from the big cities. It used to be people leaving here to go to Ontario or out west. The price of homes are up but still they are being bought up sometimes sight unseen.

Take care everyone,

Sus

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ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!

Just wondering if anybody is actually bothering to read what Doug and I write every week? It seems that we might as well be sending e-mails directly to one another and not bothering to write as if anybody is taking our efforts seriously! If you are actually out there and reading what is written each week by the two of us, how come there is no response or participation from the rest of the Squid membership?

Now that Uncle Russ is home again maybe we’ll get some input from a third party! It seems that Russ is the only other person that enjoys writing and reading these columns each week or even commenting on what is written by the originator of the Squid and Myself! I’m not complaining but just curious as to how many people actually care whether or not this weekly effort continues. I know that I put a good couple of hours each week into writing something that I think the readers might enjoy and I’m sure that Doug does the same! Without the writings of Uncle Russ when he’s well enough to participate the Squid would become a two man show and would continue to seem like an event such as the Indy 500 being run with only two lonely Volkswagen beetles racing to the echo of empty grandstands! Am I wrong in thinking we are writing to a newspaper that has no circulation and therefore no readership?

After almost twenty years of writing these columns every week hoping that someone is enjoying our efforts one would think that a small portion of our readers could at least comment on the product that Doug makes an effort to send out to dozens of “Readers” each Saturday! I guess I may be sounding like a beggar that stands on the corner with one of those cardboard signs asking for some recognition but that’s not how I’m intending this to come across! I am merely asking that our readership show that they are still out there and looking forward to receiving this news letter each weekend for what is possibly another twenty years!

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I hope you’re all still there and looking forward to another 20 years of The Squid! This commentary isn’t intended to insult anyone but just a fishing expedition to see if anybody is thinking it’s still worth our efforts each week to keep it going! 
After all these years, Doug and I enjoy writing our columns each week in hopes that you all still enjoy reading what is sent out each Saturday and will continue to do so if we keep the Squid and Ontarion going! That’s about all I have or had on my mind for this week folks! 
Thanks for tuning in and I sincerely hope you’ll all take this commentary to heart and continue to support the Squid in the weeks and possibly years to come!

Bye for now … Greg

PS: Something To Think About>
Please try to sit at your computer in the near future and jot down a short story to send in to Doug for inclusion in The Squid in the near future!Thanks so much for being there all these years!

Also: Welcome back Uncle Russ! We hope you’re feeling much better!

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Take Care And Be Safe
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.