The Squamidian Report – Oct. 24 / 20
 

Issue #961
Including:

From Nova Scotia Sus
From Russ
The Ontarion


Hi All,

An interesting coincidence after Greg’s backyard visitor in last weeks’s issue’… my nice new (well, now 8 month old with 11,000 km under her belt) truck has a bit of a stink to it. Yup. Skunk. The proverbial ‘dead skunk in the middle of the road’ situation. And thats exactly what it was. I knew it was there, could see it up ahead but due to the traffic around me there was no way I could maneuver around it, no way to avoid driving right over it, or it’s remains as the case actually was. It didn’t make much of a bump as it had already been well squished and flattened but it still had some degree of potency to share with anyone lucky enough to squeeze a bit more juice out of it. So, small bump on the road then that unmistakable aroma wafting into the cab. It soon dissipated but could still be smelled on the outside by the front wheel. Oh well, this too shall pass.

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Those of you who watch the night sky will be fully aware of the cool views that are happening these days. Things like a very bright Mars rising in the east after sunset. Mars is currently at the closest to Earth in it’s orbit, and won’t be this close again for another 15 years. So, it’s big and bright. There is Venus who rises in the same place but at dawn. Again, big and very bright, pretty hard to miss. In fact the only way you could miss her would be to purposely not look for her. Right now the Moon, Jupiter and Saturn are close together in the south once the sky is dark, creating a very nice display. The Moon will quickly move eastward and go from a crescent to a half and on to a full display with each passing day. The Moon’s appears to move quickly in relation to the planets of course because she orbits the Earth while they orbit the Sun, so that display is ever changing. However, getting back to Jupiter and Saturn, there is another cool display taking shape. They are relatively close together now and they are moving ever closer (from our visual perspective). They will continue to move closer to each other as seen from our vantage and by December 21 form what is called a ‘grand conjunction’. On that date they will appear to be only 0.1 degrees apart, about a fifth of a moon’s diameter, so, visually right beside each other.

Therefore, there is a whole lot more to look forward to for December 21st than just the start of winter. Assuming a clear sky we can all, or at least those who want, see a rather rare celestial sight. Mark your calendars and hope for a clear night sky. Don’t want to miss this one.

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I’ve go a treat for everyone this week….no videos of me for you to put up with. For this week’s musical distraction I’ve found time to put together an audio recording with all it’s instrumentation and harmonies. In fact, I can only do this number as an audio recording because it is built around harmony. I think one of the first groups to do it was the Eagles way back when, and it tends to turn up every now and then when being done by some of the newer groups and bands, but always arranged around the multiple vocal parts. As I get older I’m finding the harmony tracks are getting harder to do as I can no longer reach those higher notes and any attempt at falsetto would induce fits of coughing and gaging from me and fits of laughter from you. This song begs for those high notes but we will have to do with out. A bit of mandolin here and there helps but only for balance between verses, it can’t replace the high vocals that are not there. As well, this song is supposed to be powerful and have some drive and punch to it. That I can’t do either because no matter how I arrange a tune, it always comes out laid back and sounding like its me. Oh well. This is what you get this week, my audio version of a song called ‘Seven Bridges Road’. Enjoy.

Seven Bridges Road

And guess what? I’ve go another treat for you, this one is a video, one that Ryan sent in. Here’s my main competition rockin’ out on a guitar, making it up as she goes. Olivia letting lose.

Olivia & Her Song

doug

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From Nova Scotia Sus

It sure is dark at 7 in the morning these days. Even the chickens are feeling it. I go out every morning early to turn on their light and I feel like I'm disturbing their sleep. I'm told the more light they have the more egg production we get. Also another trick I learned is to not collect some eggs too early in the morning as they will be inspired to lay more. And no treats from the garden until they are done laying. Learning to be a farmer is pretty complicated and rewarding. We have 11 young chickens we raised from one day old that will start laying soon. Somewhere between 18 to 20 weeks old is about their time. I have regular customers that buy eggs from us so the more the better. Another crop that has been doing very well is our garlic. It seems everyone wants to buy garlic or start planting it themselves. So to date I have sold over $200 worth. With so much interest we decided to plant over a thousand cloves this fall. Each clove will give us a whole garlic bulb to harvest next August 2021. So lets hope there is enough interest next year for the sale of garlic.

We sure can't complain about our weather this summer and fall. This would have been a great year for the tourist season but with the covid things were very quiet and empty. We are doing really good here with very low numbers of active cases and good long stretches of no new cases. I am very thankful for where we live and our lifestyle. There is so much to do right at home where we would rather be anyway. Avoiding people is not a problem living out in the country surrounded by trees and fields. When we go to town its just a quick trip and back because that is the uncomfortable place, wearing masks and avoiding everyone. I hope everyone keeps safe and patient while we get through this time.

Sus

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From Russ

Nightmare (conclusion)

The local fire-fighters arrive before the Army, and in no time the cops on the roof are being blasted with ice-cold water! Lucky for them, they have a place to ‘hide’ from the cruel force of relentless water – like most flat roof structures of the time, there is an extension of the outer brick walls rising above the flat roof to contain rainwater until the roof-drain takes over. The local ‘smoke-eaters’ keep pouring water onto the roof –

We’re gonna die by drowning!”, the cops cry in one voice, as the water is now a foot deep on the flat roof. The short wall protects them from the blast of water, but not from the smoke which is terrible!

Cough! Cough! – Can’t breathe! – Can’t see!”. The flames are now leaping higher than their protective wall – threatening to burn them to death!!

HELP! They all scream – terrified!! A second fire-truck arrives, but there’s only one hydrant – so the firemen sit and watch?!

(The heavy rumbling is now much nearer)

The Army’s here!! Thank God!” – everyone breathes a sigh-of-relief! The Army comes well-equipped. They have ‘high-rescue’ boom-trucks, and water-tankers. They almost immediately begin hosing the inside of the flaming old cop-shop (something the local’s hadn’t thought about), while getting their boom-trucks in position to rescue the boys, clinging to the top of the brick wall like sparrows on a telephone wire.

OH-NO!! – ROOF’S COLAPSING!!” everybody screams. As in slow-motion, the whole flat roof starting with the rear, slides down – pouring hundreds of gallons of water onto the flames below; with a roar like Niagara, a hiss like 10 steam-engines, sending ash and steam high in the former blue sky above the ‘Jerk-off town’.

Although badly singed by the heat and flames, suffering from smoke-inhalation, and smelling like J.M. Schnider’s smoked-sausage, no lives were lost – not even those of the Bikers!

Where are they? No sign of them anywhere?” asks a cop. “GOOD!!”. Hell’s Angels” was disbanded shortly after this happening.

C O N C L U S I O N

The police station (formerly Bank of Toronto Bldg.), was completely destroyed, along with the ‘borrowed’ 50-cupper and all of their ‘borrowed coffee. What a shame! The Chinese gentleman, a victim of Police brutality is suing the P.D. and the Town of < > for the loss business and his coffee-maker. The police station is now located in the former Presbyterian Church (with necessary renovations). Cost to the town, approximately $200.000.

Sergeant George is promoted without pay increase, to Acting Chief of Police (The real Chief resigned due to “medical issues”).

The Fire Chief is credited with saving the lives of the entire P.D.

The Army has submitted a bill for their “Rescue Operation”. ($300.000). Town Property Taxes are raised 15% to cover the ‘expenses’.

My house rent is doubled. I move back to my ‘home town’ and apply to KPD – am quickly hired as a “Cadet”. How embarrassing – I left KPD as a Sergeant!


Your old Uncle Russ.


PS I hope readers of The Great Squamidian enjoyed my “Nightmare” as much as I did writing it. As you may recall, it was based on a true story of which I was a part, when with Kitchener Police Department (a million years ago). The story came to me as a recurring “Bad dream”.

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THE ONTARION REPORT


Hello everyone!

I hope you’re all staying safe these days during the second wave of this Covid-19 problem we’re having here in Canada. It will all be over soon we all hope!

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It seems that fall is passing us by at a quick rate this year. The leaves have all turned and are now falling like lead balloons from the trees. I guess it’s just the way things happen when the weather gets colder as it has been over the past couple of weeks.

We’ve had a lot of bird action at the feeder lately including the visits from our Blue Jay family or families. We’ve had many different birds out at the feeder and sometimes all at the same time. We’ve had Jays, Cardinals, Sparrows, Read headed woodpeckers and even the odd Cedar Waxwing at the feeder and sometimes all at once. It’s been amazing to see the variety of wildlife out back enjoying the seeds that Adam puts out in the feeder.

I’m sure many of them will hang around for most of the winter. Even the little chipmunk family has been busy packing the seeds etc away for their winter stash! There has even been a few squirrels grabbing up the castoffs from the feeder to store for their winter food supply! Last week Adam looked out at the feeder and spotted another cat sitting at the foot of the flagpole/feeder just waiting for the chance to pounce upon a bird or two for a quick lunch. He was one that we hadn’t seen before and was a domestic cat from somewhere in the neighbourhood. He or she was wearing a blue colour. After the last times when the ferule (Spelling?) cat destroyed and ate the baby Robins out back we didn’t want to take a chance that this one would do the same to the unsuspecting bird life at the feeder. So, Adam set a live animal trap in the yard, figuring we’d catch the cat and deliver him/her to the Humane Society to be returned to it’s owners for a hefty lecture and fine for letting it run free! This would hopefully teach it’s owners a lesson and it wouldn’t run free again. However, the cat never came back and Adam managed to catch a large Raccoon in the trap the first night it was set. He decided to call the Humane Society that day and ask if they would come pick up the Raccoon. When he phoned them they gave him a phone number for a wild animal rescue company in Cambridge. When he phoned that number, he was told that they would only respond if the animal was in distress or injured and there would be a hefty charge for doing so! So he phoned the Humane Society once more and asked what else he could do and was told to take the Raccoon to a spot about a kilometre from our location and turn it loose. With no other alternative, he put the trap and animal in the back of his truck and took it out to the country side and released it in a remote spot. He said the Raccoon didn’t even look back at him and ran immediately into the bush at the location of it’s release! I’m sure it will make another home at it’s new location and be just fine. I doubt they are like cats or dogs that find their way home when moved to or lost in a remote location.


So much for our latest adventure involving our back yard animal sanctuary! LOL!

That’s about all for this week folks!

Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next time in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now …. Greg

PS: Something To Think About>

What is your guess when it comes to the American Presidential Election?

Thank goodness we don’t have to go through a federal election and face a change of government here in Canada! During this time of a serious pandemic, that’s the last thing we need!

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Take Care And Be Safe
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.