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The Squamidian Report – July 13
Issue #894
Including: From Lorne From Russ The Ontarion Hi All, A Somewhat Typical Morning For The Girls…. When the girls are here, as they have been for the last 2 weeks, there is a predictable pattern to our days. Its not much different from any other day, just perhaps a bit more hectic. Getting them up and eating their breakfast can be a challenge but is doable with the right amount of coercion. Then, we get them ready to go to the gondola where we’d be going anyway for our usual morning coffee. That means pack some snacks and juice, the stuff they sell up there is too expensive so we bring our own. Like us, the girls know many if not most of the staff at the gondola, certainly the ones they interact with such as the lift attendants, the ladies working the retail outlet, as well as the ones at the coffee bar. We get there right as they open so we can enjoy the place before the madding crowds of tourists and other none-desirables turn up and take the fun out of it. This past week has actually included a couple of inches of badly needed and well received rain. Most weekday mornings there is a yoga class being held on the outer octagon deck. The girls have never had a problem with talking to and interacting with others, including adults and they have quite often inserted themselves, uninvited, into the yoga classes, borrowing the spare mats and just joining right in until they lose interest. This past Wednesday started out wet and socked in, the usual participants in the yoga class didn’t bother to turn up leaving the woman who leads the class with no one to lead. Well, as ‘the wife’ and I were sipping our coffee, the girls noticed the yoga lady laying out a few mats but there was no one else there. In the blink of an eye they were in there like dirty shirts, shoes off and on the mats ready to go. Upon checking with the yoga leader she said it was great to see their enthusiasm and if they wanted she’d just go ahead and do yoga with them which she and they did. Kyra did a pretty good job of following her instructions and Olivia did a good job of following Kyra. It brought a lot of smiles to the faces of the tourists who began showing up as the morning went by. No one from the normal, adult class showed but the leader ensured us she had fun with the girls who then even helped her put the mats and equipment away. The life and location these girls live would be the envy of most people but for the girls, its just the way it is. Here they are on their way up, with an interesting play of clouds in and around the mountains.  On the mats out on the outer octagon deck. Theres a small cloud moving through Shannon Valley down below.  Listening to instructions as the instructor tries to keep a straight face and the clouds create an ever changing back drop.  Hard at it, trying their best. When she had them 'be' wolves, they started howling at the top of their lungs. :)  * So, next time you are having a bad day, just think about that poor guy. doug
**** From Lorne Sequel. After a week of not feeding peanuts, I offered again from my hand and immediately chipmunks were back for a hand out. They again attempted to climb up my leg. This time however, adult entertainment was not part of the activities. At least not then and there. What was entertaining was all the creatures that make 234 Old Chicopee their home. Rabbits feeding on the lawn, a red squirrel on the deck, cardinals, yellow finches, grosbeaks and many others at the feeder, and most entertaining was watching a monster toad climb 5 concrete steps up to the front porch. He, maybe a he, jumped up toward the next level, never quite making it but used his ? front legs to pull himself over the edge. The hind legs were then employed to reach the edge as well, then hopping to the next step. I had seen this fellow on the porch other times and wondered how he? got there. Now I know. All this comes my way for free. No fees, no contracts, just sit, watch and swat the odd insect. Lorne
**** From Russ I'll never have... It’s lonely around here without a dog but I’ve decided long ago that a dog is too much for me, so I’ve been searching for a more suitable pet. I was never very fond of the smell of cat pee, so they are not on the table. I remember reading somewhere that exotic pets are very popular and legal in Canada; (subject to provincial/municipal laws). I began to do some more or less serious research which I’d like to share with you; first, let’s find out what exotic creatures are banned in Canada: Alligators & crocodiles – you can’t legally have one of these as a pet in Canada, which isn’t surprising, given that these reptilian predators aren’t exactly the cuddliest of companions. But, you and I know disreputable pet stores sell baby alligators (which some consider cute). The buyer keeps them in aquariums as ‘talking pieces’ until they get too big and nasty to handle, then they dump them into the most convenient pond. On last night’s news, they had found a 5 foot Alligator in a park in Chicago – that’s pretty far north to find one of those critters! Of those that are legal in Canada, I’ve loosely considered the following; Fennec Fox – These tiny fox-like exotic animals hail from N. Africa where they endure the hot, dry climate living on plants, rodents, insects, and small birds. They are as independent as cats, affectionate as dogs. Their most outstanding features are their extra-long ears – which allow them to hear their prey, even under ground making them formidable hunters. You sure wouldn’t want pet gerbils around your house, one of these would make a nice snack for ‘Fenny fox’! Wallaby – They are native to Australia and resemble a small kangaroo; and that’s pretty much what it is. If I were to acquire one of these (which I very much doubt I will), It would have to be kept in a stout playpen containing a “pouch” where it could retreat for solace and security. Where in Hell does one get a pouch? I suppose a large ladies purse like my tiny wife used to carry would do. But I don’t own a large property where it could graze on grass, nor ‘leap-for-joy’ as they are wont to do. Did I mention the grow to 3 feet high and weigh up to 50 pounds? Shush! Pygmy Goat - Smaller than normal goats, but adults weighing up to 75 pounds, “pygmy” is just a moniker. As kids (no pun intended), we used to raise goats, and we made pets of all of them. They of course were ‘domestic’ animals, and never got any heavier than 40 pounds, so why would I go to the bother/expense to buy an exotic Pygmy Goat? Scratch that one. Hedgehog – I’ve always thought they were so cute. They run wild in parts of England where people can approach some of them as they are docile, but petting one would not be so pleasant, as they are prickly – not quite porcupine prickly, but prickly. And here’s the kicker – one must socialize with it, otherwise it won’t become friendly – it’ll just role up into spiky little ball, which by the way, is their only mode of defense. Being nocturnal, they would sleep all day and ‘muck-about’ all night, keeping me awake. Scratch prickly too. Right now my butt is getting irritated, my stomach is complaining, so gatta go (and that too). If you’ve nothing better to do, tune in again next Saturday, ‘cause I’m not through looking for the “perfect exotic pet”. Your lonely, old Uncle Russ.
**** THE ONTARION REPORT Hello everyone! This past week has been one of those times when I had an occasion to relive something out of my past! You all may remember my mentioning a good friend of mine by the name of Frank Chatterson. Well, he was quite well known around Grand River Collegiate Institute and I understand that some of the Brubacher clan attended that high school. So I’m just wondering if any of you other than Doug would have remembered him. He played guitar in a rock band with Clyde Guilmour at one time and if you still have one of your high school year books you might just see a picture of him playing his guitar along with Clyde playing the drums in one of your school assemblies. I mention Frank because he and I were also in a band together from the time we were 16 years of age until we reached the ripe old age of 18! We practiced in the basement of our drummer’s parent’s house on Mary St in Kitchener. It was situated right beside the Centre In The Square. Well, it’s been 52 years since we were together as a band and for the most part I’ve let that part of my life fade into the distant past. So much so that I’ve forgotten the last name of our drummer. It’ll come to me eventually, most likely by the time I finish writing this week’s column. We had a few band members that came and went over the time we were together and I can remember most of the guys that played in “Tailor Made” which was the name of our band. Frank played lead and rhythm guitar Keith Leblanc played bass and I was the band’s singer. Steve, our drummer with no last name for the time being and another fellow spent some time with us playing rhythm and lead guitar and his name was Dave Whyte. He had incredible red hair so of course he was known as “Red” Whyte! LOL! I had as I said in the beginning of this story let the names of these guys fade into history until today! Today I had a project to work on to fix a bad rattle that developed beneath the MGB. Carole and I were out for a cruise a couple of days ago and noticed that there was a bad rattle that shook the car every time I turned the ignition off to park the car. I figured it might well be associated with the exhaust system. So, today I drove the MG up onto a pair of steel ramps I have to enable myself to slide under the car to see if I could find the source of the rattle. Well, with a little searching, I found that there was a broken bracket that usually holds the tail pipe tightly in place. It’s a bracket that’s bolted to two rubber mounts on the frame just in front of the rear bumper and from those mounts, there is a metal half round bracket that wraps around the tail pipe. This half round bracket had rusted badly over the past 18 or so years and finally broke in half. I figured it would be an easy fix if only I could locate that same bracket at the local muffler shop. I went to the local “Mufflerman” on Highland Rd but they said it was no longer in use as a bracket. The type that they now use is of a totally different design and they could not match the broken one. The Mufflerman service guy suggested I bring the car to their shop and he would try to “Jerry Rig” something to hold the tail pipe in place. I thanked him for his suggestion and left the shop figuring there must be someplace that still sold that old style bracket. SO, I drove across the street to the local “Parts Source” store and bought a new style bracket from one of their sales people. He told me to see if it would do the job and if not, just to return it to the store in the original box for a refund. Home I went and as it turned out, the bracket would not do the job so I decided to use some metal stock I had at home and make a bracket of my own to fit in place of the old one. I used the old bracket as a pattern and with the use of my vise and some trusty hammers; I managed to bend up a matching half round bracket to fit in place on the tail pipe. When I had finished the job and was quite happy with the result, I decided to take the MG out for a quick run. This would give me a chance to hear how quiet it would run with the new bracket in place as well as give me a chance to return the “new” bracket purchased earlier from “Parts Source”. I drove to Highland Rd to return the bracket. The home made one worked like a charm and the system was now as quiet as a mouse! When I entered the “Parts Source” store, the fellow I dealt with was no longer there. So I stepped up to talk to a different fellow behind the counter. I told him about my purchase and asked if I could return the bracket for a refund. He said “No problem, I can take care of that for you!” As I stood there at the counter this fellow would not stop staring at me. I just kept my cool and waited for him to do the paper work. He asked my phone number and then also what my last name was. I replied that my name was P A Y N E spelling it for him as he entered it into the computer. He then asked my first name and before I could say anything, he said “It’s GREG right?” and I was a tad stunned. How did this fellow know my first name? The name on his uniform chest was Brian but had no last name. He then said, “Are you still singing in a band?” I was even more stunned than before and replied “No, not for many years, why do you ask?” Then he said “I’m Brian Ratz!” Suddenly the light went on and I recognized him as “Ratzy”, another guitar player that had also played for two years in our band! Holy Cow what a blast from the past! I had forgotten all about him having been one of the Tailor Made band members. I guess I’m getting old when confronted by a former member of the band and not recognizing him! We both said “Holy Shit!” how long has it been?” With that, we both said it’s been over 50 years!!!! Ratzy was a very good guitar player and also very good at singing harmony along with Frank. They matched very well and if I recall correctly, they sounded very much like The Everly Brothers while singing background to my lead vocals! They made me sound very good when we blended our voices! We only had a couple of minutes to reminisce but vowed we’d get together for a coffee sometime soon to talk over old times. Ratzy said he’d played in many bands after our band broke up and said he’d made some good money doing it! Not many musicians can make that claim I’m sure! I think we made $20 each when we played a few gigs after practicing hard for three years in Steve Bender’s parent’s basement! SEE, I told you I’d finally remember our drummer’s name! Steve actually became a radio announcer after graduating from Grand River. It makes me wonder if any of the Squamidian clan remembers any of these guys’ names from high school? Like I said earlier, I was in shock and also very happy to finally meet up with Ratzy again after all these years! I’m going to make sure I set up a coffee date with Brian soon to yack about the old days and catch up on how our lives have gone since those times in our basement band! I can’t wait! I for one like to talk over old times and am looking forward to getting together with Brian. It’s just too bad Frank has passed on and can’t join with us for coffee when it happens! I’m sure Frank will be there in spirit since he’ll likely be the topic of the day! That’s about all for this week folks! Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report! Bye for now … Greg
PS: Something To Think About>EYES….. Mirrors of the soul. TONGUE…. Instruments of thought. SPEECH….. Ambassador of the mind. ****
Have a good one.. the doug The Fine Print! The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such. |