The Squamidian Report – May 26 / 18
 
Issue #835

Including:
From Russ
From Lorne
The Ontarion

Hi All,

I guess if one has to have visitors from out of province its good to have good weather at the same time, and we have both. Well, to me its been a bit on the warm side and to my sister its been a bit on the cold side but generally its been good. Sure beats the snowstorms on the east coast. However, even as the flooding in the interior of BC is still an issue, forest fire season has shown its ugly head. There was one a week ago just down the highway from here above Lion's Bay, started of course by people. There had been some hikers up on the mountain side and they managed to set the mountain on fire. There are two very large and out of control fires north east of here, one near Lillooet and the other north of Kamloops, again, started by brain dead idiots who have most likely tossed a butt. And speaking of butts, I had to report a jerk smoking on the gondola deck the other day. That whole area is posted as 'None-Smoking' for good reason. Its up the side of a mountain, surrounded by drying forest and the structure is all wood. As well, should the need to evacuate ever arise, it would be very hard to do given that each gondola cabin holds a max of 8 people and if a fire was anywhere near the tram they wouldn't be able to use it as anyone stuck in a cabin would be BBQ'd. So, I reported the idiot that figured he was above the rules and could smoke anywhere he wanted. The attendant spoke with him and he did put out his cancer stick but he had a few choice words for me when he walked by on his way to leave that I simply ignored. Such is the attitude of smokers. Gondola staff have had to deal with smokers up there who argued that it was their given right to smoke where ever and when ever they wanted. Boggles the mind. A cool aside to this is that the requirement to keep the brain-dead from burning down the lodge and the mountain on which it sits is so important that management has granted staff up there the right to douse any smoker with a pail of water. That would be a last resort probably but it sure would be fun to do and I've volunteered to be an official douser, should the need arise.

And on the topic of 'brain dead'..... if the rest of Canada knew what our slime-ball PM and the Alberta premier were pulling on everyone, there would be an uprising. And its all being done to appease a big Texas-based oil company that masterfully manipulates governments that are so easily duped. The only real need for the Kinder Morgan pipe line is that PM Slime-ball has promised China a pipeline to the coast in order to give, as in hand out, away our resources so China can reap the benefits with no cost to them at all. And, no cost to Kinder Morgan at all. The way PM Slime-ball and Alberta have caved to the oil company has ensured that not only will the oil company be off the hook for any of the costs of building or running the pipeline, they will be off the hook for any liability of spills or other calamities. And, it is you and I, the tax payers, who will be on the hook, 100%, for all the cost. No added value, no refinery jobs in Alberta or elsewhere, just give the stuff away, let Kinder Morgan make huge profits with minimal responsibility, and then hopefully we can buy back a little bit of the finished product if we are willing to pay a high enough price for it. Kinder Morgan doesn't have and never had any intention of building that pipeline. It has all been a scam to conn Alberta and the Feds into doing it for them. And they fell for it, in fact, they fell over each other trying to be first to sell out the tax payers of this country to the multi nationals, again, as we always do. Did you know that Kinder Morgan convinced PM Slime-ball to appoint their own people to the NEB, yup, American business execs sit on the Canadian National Energy Board to make sure things go their way. And just think, we elect these self indulging, traitorous greedy A-holes and give them full run of the country.

And don't for a minute think that only BC's energy supply is in constant question at the whims of Alberta and that the rest of the country has nothing to worry about. Alberta did it to Ontario and the East back in the '70s and can and will do it again, AND, once PM Slime-ball and crew blow upwards of 10 BILLION on an un-needed pipeline, its all of us that will be stuck with the bill. We should all be apologizing to our children for the mess we have permitted to happen in this country and for the crippling tax burden we have buried them under.

doug
****

From Russ

As we age, we become aware of some mysterious ‘out- croppings’ appearing on our otherwise perfect bodies. Case in point; I can’t overlook the ‘bump’ located above my navel and below my breast bone (which I fondly refer to as my “bay window”) Anything that misses my mouth when I’m eating falls directly onto this bump.

I don’t know whether to brag or complain, but it seems to be ‘growing every day’, or maybe my shirts, suits, sweaters, and jackets, have all “shrunk”!  I’ve come to the conclusion that the ‘enlargement’ is in direct proportion to what I eat; take Ziggy’s potato & egg salad, for instance, or Breyers vanilla ice cream, topped with Roasted, Salted cashews, or Farmer’s Market Oatmeal – chocolate chip cookies, or Kraft All Natural Peanut Butter and banana sandwiches. But, I don’t ‘always eat that healthy’, sometimes I go off my diet and eat what they call “free foods”...tomatoes, lettuce, celery, mushrooms. I eat mushrooms in every shape and form....even ‘raw’ in salads....I eat so many mushrooms that
 
Fungus grows between my toes
and spore up in my nose it grows.
 
Then, there’s that lump on my wrist, which the doc described as a “ganglion cyst”
“Does it hurt”? he asked
Only when I make a fist.
“We can remove it....it IS unsightly” But I reneged, if I remember rightly. I’m too old to go under the knife, I just won’t make a fist for the rest of my life.
 
Next week(if permitted), we’ll describe the many other shapes and meanings the words, “lumps”, “humps” and “bumps” have in the English language.
 
By your old Uncle Russ(who needs to get a life)
****

From Lorne

Second chapter. Monday,  the 1st really pleasant sunny day so far.  It started out on the cool side this morning so when arriving at the Summit lodge via gondola # 11,  I persuaded the others that this should be a good time to hike the  Panorama Trial.  The trail, as some of you know, skirts the top of the mountain, where the terminal and chalet are moored. Being about 1.6 km in length and although well groomed, does offer some steep grades both up and down. About 1/2 way around and the main purpose of the adventure is the 'look out' platform that  extends well beyond the natural terrain. Viewing opportunities on a clear day, provide a panoramic view from Mt. Garibaldi to the north and the faint view of the mountains on Vancouver Island in the West with the top end of Howe Sound, the town of Squamish looking down, part of the Sea to Sky Highway looking South and the Coastal mountain range beyond the sound, sporting several gushing torrents from melting glaciers.   Oh, incidentally,  the children are going home to-morrow! 

3rd chapter.   Visited the 'spit' last evening, watching wind surfers trying to stay on top rather than be plunged into Howe sound. To-day, Wed., we drove to Brandywine  falls just South of whistler. It is nearly a km hike round trip to view the falls that drops 200 feet, higher than Niagara, by about 20 feet. One clean drop from a stream of impressive volume that tumbles down rapidly from some high up wilderness.     We seem to have come at a good time as all the flowering shrubs and bushes are in full, beautiful bloom. Many varieties not found in the grey old East.

Chapter 4.  It's Friday already and 7 month from to-day is Christmas.  Last evening we visited Porteau Cove, a park with a wharf that extends well out over the Sound, located about 1/2 way to Vancouver along the Sea to Sky. On the way back, we climbed, in the car, the roads winding up the mountain back of Britannia to see the multimillion dollar homes that are perched on any bit of protruding rock that may support a structure. This morning back up the Gondola to up my count to 42 trips. Doug has around 1014. But that took 4 years for him to accomplish that feat.  By the time we read next weeks issue, we will be home.

Lorne
****

THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello Everyone!

Thursday was a lovely hot summer day here in Ontario and Carole and I decided to head out mid morning and drive to Port Dover in the MG for a Lake Erie Perch dinner. We tend to do this once or twice a year whenever the mood strikes us. Thursday was that day! We left home around 11 am and drove a nice calm drive down Trussler Rd, all the way from Kitchener to Port Dover. It’s almost one straight line south from our neighbourhood. We traveled the 90 or so kms in about an hour. We arrived in Port Dover at around 12:30pm and had a short drive around the town just to see what was added to it since our last visit about a year ago. They now have several new restaurants in town as well as a new “Harley” dealer… I wonder why that popped up in Port Dover? LOL! Of course it’s because of the thousand or so motorcycles that show up in Port Dover every “Friday the 13th” I’m sure! Even though they are not likely all Harleys, there are enough of them to make putting a dealership in this town for sure. Business is business and no doubt they’ll do a good deal of sales over the space of a year’s worth of motorcycle weeks from this gathering. The rest of the town looks like it’s much cleaner than it used to and that’s likely due to the prosperity brought in by the bikers! The beach is not very big but for a May “two four” week, with good weather and hot sunshine, it was quite busy with sunbathers and swimmers. We decided not to wait until suppertime to have out perch meal. It was around 2pm by the time we made the decision to eat so “Lunch it was!” and we climbed the stairs to the front door of the Erie Beach Motel where their reputation for great perch dinners is noted! We took a seat in the almost empty dining room and perused the menu. The perch dinners are not cheap but they are worth the drive to the Port for sure! You can choose anywhere from a 5 ounce fish dinner to a 21 ounce platter of the tasty little critters. We chose the 5 ounces of perch that comes with a healthy portion of homemade fries and cabbage salad as well as a large cube of “celery bread” that accompanies the meal. This selection comes in at $18.99 a plate but is well worth the money in my opinion. We enjoyed the 4 chunky perch fillets that come with the dinner and believe it or not, that was plenty when you actually finish the plate full. I was surprised that we were satisfied with that size portion since it was the smallest order you can choose from! Since I’m no longer gorging myself with oversized portions of food this meal was quite adequate and we’ll make the drive again sometime soon. Most likely once more this summer when the urge strikes!

After our meal, we took a walk the short block from the motel to the beach just to take a look at the lake. We then turned back along the opposite side of the street and stopped at the new Ice Cream Shack that is located a block from the beach. They say that they sell “London Ice Cream” and it’s supposed to be made the way Ice Cream used to be made! Whatever that means? We had two small Chocolate Peanut Butter Chunk cones on “Waffle” cones! They were amazing indeed! The cost of a small ice cream cone these days surprised me at a whopping $10.07 for the two of them! When Carole and I owned our little ice cream shop in the Frederick St Mall back in the early 80’s we charged $1.50 for a small and $2.00 for a large cone and they were waffle cones as well! Nowadays they charge $3.50 for a small scoop and you pay extra for the waffle cone to hold the ice cream! In the end, it was worth the fee just to enjoy a delicious and healthy portion of ice cream on a hot sunny day at the beach! We sat out front of the shop at a little table for two and enjoyed the cones in the sunshine. After our treat, we decided to hop back in the MG and take a leisurely drive home to KW. There was almost no traffic on the road and with the breeze blowing over us in the convertible it was indeed an enjoyable drive. We arrived home to KW by 4:50 pm and after all that fresh air were quite pooped out and looking forward to a bit of relaxation and a good cup of tea! We settled in for an evening of rest and TV watching and of course we slept quite well after a busy day in the summer sun. I’m still waiting to hear from the body shop owner as to when he’ll be able to do the repairs and paint job on the MG and I must say, I’m getting a little impatient. I guess if I don’t hear from him in the next day or so I’ll have to give him another phone call to see what the hold up is! I’m sure he’s quite busy this time of year so I’ll just have to go with the flow! I hope he’s got an answer for me when I call this time!

My head is throbbing tonight so a couple more Tylenol’s are in order for the evening. I was sure to wear a hat during the drive today as well as slathering myself with number 30 sun block! Gotta keep those bad rays off the open skin for sure!

Tomorrow it’s back to mowing the lawn again since it’s been growing like a weed patch this year. I guess that’s my own fault for fertilizing so well each spring summer and fall. We do have the best-looking lawn in the neighbourhood even if I do say so myself and its worth all the effort when I see the results. I’m a firm believer in using a mulching mower, as that tends to feed the grass each time I cut it! With a nice thick lawn, the weeds don’t stand as much of a chance of taking over your lawn. In fact, we only have about 5 dandelions on our lawn this year and tomorrow they will bight the dust when I take to the lawn with my trusty dandelion digger outer! LOL!

It’s that time of year again for sure! The lawn needs cutting at least once every three days when it’s well looked after. Our neighbour beside us finally cut his lawn after it reached an unhealthy 8 inches in height among the weed crop that is about 60% of it! He finally dug out some dandelions while his wife cut the grass last weekend and in doing so, he managed to dig deep enough to cut our cable line! So, we had no TV, no Phone and no Internet for the weekend. We had the cable company Rogers show up the other day to hook us back up temporarily to the line from the neighbour’s who cut the line in the first place. If I get a bill from Rogers, you can bet it’ll be passed on to the guy next door who caused the problem in the first place! When the work crew shows up in a few weeks to put in a new cable, I’ll be sure to ask them do burry it deep enough that it can’t be cut again! I don’t know why they didn’t dig it deeper the last time this happened but it could be that it happened in cold weather so they couldn’t dig deep at that time of year. They just tucked it under the sod and never came back to burry it properly! This time I’ll be sure to have them do it right!

Carole and I went to Niagara Falls NY last weekend and did a little bit of shopping as well as spent a night in a nice motel just to get away for a bit. While there I cashed in a NY POWER BALL ticket I had purchased when we were over in the states last July. I had won a huge $4.00 on that ticket and kept it handy for our next visit to Niagara Falls NY. This past weekend was the time to cash it in so I bought two new tickets with my winnings. When I checked the numbers after the weekend draw for $306,000,000.00 I found out that I had won another $8.00 American so I guess this means we’ll be taking another trip to NY before the year time limit runs out. Nobody won the three hundred and six million last weekend so the jackpot just keeps on growing. I would indeed love to win that one for sure! I think I’d have some fun trying to manage to spend that kind of winnings! WOW! Would that be a challenge eh?

That’s about all for this week folks!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now … Greg

PS: Something To Think About>
What would you do with that kind of a Jackpot win?

****
Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.