The Squamidian Report – Jan. 13 / 18
 
Issue #816

Including:
Karl
From Lorne
From Russ
The Ontarion

Hi All,

I was hoping something of interest would pop up this week giving me something of interest to write about but nothing has transpired. So I'll just have to talk about what didn't happen, or to be more precise, won't be happening. As some of you know, both 'The Wife' and I will be back in KW this coming week. I'll be staying for about a week and 'The Wife' will be staying for several more weeks after I've returned to the coast. Now, what won't be happening is that we won't be flying back on good old Westjet. They have been our airline of choice for years now as they fly into and back out of Waterloo airport. They always actually cost us more to fly in to KW than Air Canada cost to fly in to Toronto as a none-stop flight, but the convenience of landing and leaving from YKF generally offset the extra cost. However, starting sometime last fall Westjet changed the schedule. It used to be that we'd leave Vancouver about 8am Pacific time, do a flight change in Calgary and end up getting in to YKF about 6pm or so in the evening, central time. Their flight out would be a quick turn-around, leave about 7pm, with a flight change in Calgary and a return arrival back into Vancouver around 11pm or so. Not great but do-able.

Well, the new Westjet schedule is so inconvenient that no one is taking it. Even seat sales can't get anyone interested in catching a red-eye flight that gets them into Waterloo at 4:30 in the morning. There would be no transportation at YKF at that time of the morning, no where to go, nothing open, and nothing to do until 'morning'. That flight leaves Calgary at midnight, making for along wait in Calgary as well. The flight back to Vancouver leaves YKF at around 6am, do-able but not very convenient, connects in Calgary and eventually gets you back to Vancouver. This didn't work for us at all. And didn't and isn't working for anyone. You have to wonder who makes these decisions that screw up everything and don't work for anyone at all. There was an article in the KW Record about how this schedule is not working. The airport employees are certainly as ticked off as the customers. And like I said, customer use has dropped off to the point where the route is in danger. They've had to address that but the changes won't take place until March when they will have the flight arrive into YKF at about 11pm or so after leaving the west in the afternoon instead of midnight. Flight back west won't change much but thats ok I guess.

So, we have been forced to fly AC into Toronto. Bummer, I hate flying into Toronto. The flight is cheaper than the Westjet Kitchener flights were, and none-stop, but we now have to put up with Pearson airport and the problem of getting out of there and up to KW. There are airport transportation services that pick you up and drop you off and thats how we will do it. The extra we are not paying Westjet for the privilege of landing in Waterloo covers most of the cost of the airporter service so we just have to put up with the extra time and fuss of booking and taking the airporter van from Toronto up to Maryhill where we will get dropped off at 'The Wife's' sister's place next Tuesday, then I'll do the reverse a week later. And that reminds me, I'm not sure I can do a Squid for the Saturday (Jan. 20) as I'll be away and I won't have a computer to work on or my 'send to' list to send to so if you don't get one next week its because I didn't send one. I may send one out when I get home, a few days late but thats how it goes. Thats definitely what I'll do if anyone has sent in a contribution to the letter.

The reason we are coming back at the same time, a situation we've avoided for years, is that 'The Wife's' father passed away before Christmas and they are doing a celebration of life service on the morning of the 20th. As well as us, Ryan and Kyra (who proudly just turned 6) will be there for a few days. They will be getting in late on Thursday and leaving Saturday evening to catch an early Sunday morning flight back to the coast, so anyone wanting to meet Kyra and see Ryan can do so if they try hard enough. I understand there will probably be some sort of get-together on Saturday afternoon and evening, probably at the homestead but I'm not real sure of the 'where' yet or any other details.

So, see some of you next week. I'm hoping very much to do breakfast with Greg if he's up to it. I'll be renting a guitar from Long & Mcquade to jam on if anyone is up for that. Gotta do something to pass the time.

doug
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From Karl In Australia

Happy New Year to all Squamidian readers, HI all from Melbourne Australia ,Thanks for another good read Doug ,Im sorry to hear you Canadians are COLD ,On the 6th we had our most "HOTEST “ day this Year, HA HA got to 43c much better today 21 c as I am writing this ,I went out in the 43c to a photo shoot at Port Melbourne which is the beach ,thank god when we all got there the cold change came in from the south, The north wind brings the HOT air from central Australia, lucky for us photographers for the cool change which was 28c ,we had 14 people show up for the photo shoot ,I will add a few photos from a a place called Princess Pier ,this is where we took photos of the Sunset, I hope you enjoy this little bit of my story, Greg, Im glad you are getting better, I had a chuckle when you said ONE dollar for a mile ??, Here if you go over by 3k you pay around 250 dollars and a couple points, Well have a great week everyone.





Karl
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From Lorne

An up to date report on the wayward wall clock. I reported in Dec. that it decided to run backwards for a while then as several watched it stopped and went forward as good clocks should. It reversed again last Mon. only to run forward on Wed. There has been no power interruption and all other appliances seem to work to rule.  Otherwise I have nothing to write about and everyone knows about our weird weather.

Lorne
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From Russ

Hey Doug, this Winter with its heavy snowfall, has put me in mind of a Winter back in the late 50s;
 
“Offisher Brubacher gave me a break”
 
It’s a bluster Winter night (actually early morning), hardly any traffic.....the plows had shoved the snow into deep piles along the sides of the streets. I’m a cop. I come across a car nosed into the deep snow on the right side of East Avenue in Kitchener, there’s a man behind the wheel....he’s trying to back the car out of the snow.  His rear wheels are spinning fast & furiously, the tires are smoking. I get out of my cruiser, knock on his window...he knocks back....I open his door.
“I’m stuck....tryin’ to get outahere!”
“How’s that workin’ out for yuh ?” I ask. Then, I realize I know this guy....it’s Bob Ross from Memorial Gardens....and he recognizes me.
 
“Hey Rush (hic)....can you help me out?”
He’s drunk(as usual). So I respond, “Shut off the car, give me the keys, get out of your car...into my cruiser...I’m taking you home”.
 
Before I was married, but while I was still an electrician, I tried my hand at selling cemetery property at Memory Gardens, and that’s where I met Bob Ross. He was a small, out-going, likable Scotsman, greying, older than me, typical salesman, always ready with a joke. We’d shared a few beers; I did some electrical work at his home one time, I had to lift a grate from the floor in his kitchen to look for a way I might fish some wires up from the basement into the wall to install an outlet.
 
I had no sooner opened the grill to the heating duct, when his ‘wee Scotish wify’ plunged headlong into the duct up to her waist wielding a vacuum cleaner hose! It seems she was a “clean freak” and didn’t want me to see any dust anywhere in her “wee hoose”
She got herself stuck in there, and Bob and I had to pull her out, she was wearing a skirt and I remember her “knickers” were exposed.
 
We talked about old times as I drove him home.
 
I’m leaving your car keys at the Front Desk at the Police Station....you can pick them up in the morning, after you’ve ‘slept it off’.
He thanked me profusely(at one point I thought he was going to kiss me!) blubbering...
“You’re the besht offisher on (hic) the whole damned poleesh forsh!”
 
Have a good night Bob.
 
I’m still on ‘night shift’. I report for duty early so I have time to read all the Reports from the previous twenty four hours; this one from Traffic Officer Davidson:
While on routine patrol along East Avenue,  I come upon a car plunged into a snowbank.
Upon speaking with the man behind the wheel, I could detect the strong odour of alcohol on his breath, his eyes were blood-shot and his speech was slurred, he was unsteady on his feet, my duty was to place him under arrest for ‘impaired in charge of a motor vehicle’. The accused pled with me to ‘give him a break’ as Officer Brubacher ‘had done earlier on that night’
 
Well, the s**t hit the fan!
 
I was ordered to report to the Chief of Police, John Patrick, to “Show Cause why I should not be charged with; Dereliction of Duty, under the Police Act”
 
WOW! When I came out of his office after receiving an Official Reprimand, I was shaking all over; my knees were rubber, my feet were lead, my mouth like a desert floor!
 
I learned a LOT about the Law that day.......
“A police officer is under a Sworn Duty, Punishable by law, when, knowing where an offender is to be found, fails to Report (to his/her Chief), is guilty of an offense”
 
Traffic Officer Davidson abided by law when he filed an ‘Arrest Report’
I violated the law by not making an ‘Occurrence Report’
 
Police are given leave to ‘caution’ an offender in lieu of prosecution, but my giving Bob a break, although well intentioned, and very generous, was “unethical” in ‘the eyes of the law’.
 
By now, you’ve guessed what happened after I drove Bob home (I should have sent him in a taxi)....he had a spare set of car keys at his home...so he called a cab, and “returned to the scene of the crime”
 
And the rest is history.
No good deed ever goes unpunished
 
R. G. Brubacher
Constable #21

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THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!

Well, today is in the history books (January 11th 2018) and that means that I am now officially a year older! That’s right, I am now 69 years old and am living proof that my parents had sex! Sshshhshhhhh Don’t let on I told you all that cuz it’ll embarrass my mother and I don’t want her haunting me for the rest of my days. Birthdays are something that I’ve always enjoyed celebrating but so many people don’t like to even admit their age. What’s to be ashamed of anyway?

Age is something to be proud of and even more so if you’ve lived a good life and possibly raised a good family. I know I’m proud of the life I’ve led and the family I’ve raised (or helped raise) with lot of help from my better half. Anyway, so far so good and hopefully we’ll have a good many family years together yet.

I’ve always liked taking pictures and way back in 1973 when we first got married Carole gave me a “Zenit E” Russian 35 mm camera for Christmas. I had a few different lenses to go with the camera and had loads of fun over the years documenting our family activities. I took photos of everything from our son’s first minutes in this world to summer vacations in Florida. It’s loads of fun to have those photo albums to look back on over the years and I miss having actual printed copies to page through in these modern times. Today on my 69th birthday Carole and Adam as a birthday gift presented me with a beautiful new digital camera. They gave me a Canon EOS Rebel T6 digital with all the accessories to get me back into the hobby of photography. I’d been talking about the old days when my Zenit E was still working. What started me thinking about it again was a short conversation I had with Karl in Australia about the amazing photos he posted with his write up in the Christmas edition of the Squamidian. I complimented him on his fine photos and he wrote back to say how much he enjoys belonging to his local camera club and the fun he has just taking his camera out for afternoon or evening shoots. It’s great to just wander around and take pictures of things that you personally find interesting and unusual. I’m looking forward to doing just that around Waterloo Region once I’m back in shape!

I’ve often said that I wish I had taken a camera and wandered through my hometown photographing so many of the old buildings that are now nothing but memories. This city had so many beautiful buildings at one time and it seems that our elected councils of the time just didn’t give a damn about conserving them. For instance, Kitchener’s original City Hall was a beauty and they demolished it at the blink of an eye back in 1974 or thereabouts and replaced it with an “Eaton’s” shopping centre that is now a collection of odd and also empty stores. Our memories of the Kitchener City Hall would be greatly enhanced had I thought to take a photo of it while it was still standing proud at King and Frederick Sts. The last time Carole and I were in that building was in late 1972 to buy our marriage license and that lead to a 45-year union (January 19, 1973) that we’ll be celebrating on January 19 of this year! So many memories of classic old buildings in KW have now faded with time and I’m going to make it my mission to wander the streets of KW with my new camera and try my best to preserve the memory of today’s prominent structures. Hopefully there are still some classics worth the effort, that is, if our city leaders haven’t torn them all down!

The world of photography is a never-ending list of subjects that surround us and with the new digital age of photography at our fingertips it will be easier than ever to accumulate a library of wonderful and interesting pictures. I love the fact that I’ll be able to pick and choose the photos that I’d like to put into a print album from the unlimited supply available on a digital chip! No costly film to purchase that has to be used sparingly so as not to waste any photos! I’m looking forward to being able to transfer my photos to my computer and then have only the “good ones” put to print! Most people don’t bother printing photos and placing them in an album these days and of course after a short while they are lost to “digital oblivion” never to be seen again. I’m sure that right now we have many digital photos that we’ve forgotten are even there in the memory bank of our desktop and will only see them again if we come across them by accident. I’m going to make a point of storing all of my new photos in one place so they don’t get lost!

This new (old) hobby has me all enthused again and I’ll be sure to fill my spare time with the use of my new Canon! I may even post a few good shots along with the Ontarion should I take any that I deem good enough to share!

That’s about all for this week folks.
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now … Greg

PS: Something To Think About>
If it’s worth looking at it’s worth taking a picture of!
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Have a good one..
the doug

The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.