The Squamidian Report – July 29 / 17
Issue #792
Including:
The Ontarion
Hi All,
As you well know, I tend to get a bit steamed at things that are
stupid, especially when those things are people. Being that there are
so many people around I never quite run out of things to be steamed at.
Case in point; we are constantly being reminded to NOT toss lit
cigarette butts out of our car windows as they, and the moron that did
the tossing, have now caused way too many of the forest fires raging in
this province. Yet the message just does not seem to get through, bone
heads remain bone heads. Case in point; there is a never ending supply
of people riding bicycles around these parts that ignore the rules of
the road that are inconvenient for them while expecting all other users
of the road to watch out for them. I was on my way to the grocery store
the other day and a young woman on a bicycle came flying out from a
side street, not even pretending to slow down for the stop sign she had
just blown, and not even bothering to look to see if anyone was
approaching on the through street. And just to show the world how
incredibly stupid this particular example of a person was, she had two
little kids in a double seat thing on the back of her bike. I guess she
figures the rest of the world is responsible for looking out for her
and her kids because she sure wasn't. And she can be glad that the
vehicle coming was not being driven by some equally stupid jerk who's
attention was on their phone and not the road. Perhaps 'stupid' is just
nature's way of letting natural selection cull the herd a bit which
would mean the rest of us should stop trying so much.
In a totally different direction, I'm now getting about a handful of
blueberries per day from my backyard patch. Thats more than I expected
given that last year was very stressful on the plants due to drought
and then this past winter just never ended causing any plant-life
around here to be over a month late. Late rather than never is good for
me, but when you look at the wild berries up in the hill you can't help
be feel very badly for the birds and bears that rely on them for
calories. Where there should be abundance there is only the occasional
berry. Not good at all.
But guess what still is a 'good thing'... There is still snow up on the
higher sections of the hills around here, still reaching down the south
side of Brohm Ridge and still in pockets that are protected from the
hot summer winds. Those same winds that are whipping the forest fires
into a frenzy are eating though last winter's snow but there was so
much of it that the snow has not yet melted back to a normal summer
level. Snow is good.
doug
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THE ONTARION REPORT
Hello everyone!
I’m almost at a loss for words today now that
it’s time to write The Ontarion Report. However, I do have one recent
tragedy in mind but it’s not one that occurred in Ontario or even in
Canada. It happened south of the 49th Parallel in neighbouring USA,
specifically in the state of Ohio. It was opening day of the Ohio State
Fair and everything seemed to be going well with smiles on the faces of
everyone enjoying the day’s festivities. One of the major thrill rides
at the fair was in full swing so to speak when suddenly tragedy struck!
Some of the rigging holding one of the passenger compartments at the
end of a huge pendulum arm that was swinging back and forth and
spinning to the thrill of those riding in said compartment broke loose
and the section of the ride holding 7 occupants suddenly dislodged. The
section of the ride and its occupants went flying freely through the
air and unfortunately one of the riders fell to his/her death. The
other 6 riders also crashed to the pavement below and three of the six
were critically injured. The other three were in serious but not
critical condition.
I have always been skeptical about the safety
of midway rides but this particular incident puts the icing on the cake
for me! When I was a kid we used to attend the local midway held
annually at the Kitchener Auditorium in the North Side Parking Lot. It
was always fun to attend but I rarely partook of any of the “scary”
rides at the Fair. This particular day I was with my brother who was
two years my senior and a few of our neighbourhood friends. You may
recall my mentioning “The Floyd Street Gang” in earlier Ontarion
Reports. Well, that was the same group attending the Fair that day and
they were to say the least, a fun loving bunch of kids. These kids
ranged in age from 8 to 12 years of age and of course like any other
group of boys they liked to challenge each other to do daredevil type
things whenever the opportunity arose. We had been at the fair for
about an hour and things were going well when one of the guys suggested
we take a ride on the roller coaster. Well, back in those days the
roller coaster wasn’t one of great size but it was to my way of
thinking “scary” enough that I really didn’t want to ride on it for
fear of the car I’d be riding in flying off the track. Well, after much
coaxing and teasing about being a sissy, I relented and handed the
operator my ride ticket. Once aboard I crouched as low in my seat as I
could and grabbed onto the bar in front of me, holding on for dear
life! I hadn’t told anyone about my having thoughts of this ride flying
off the track for fear of being teased even more! The ride started to
move and having watched this ride for a good twenty minutes before
getting up the nerve to board it, I knew that I’d have to stick it out
for five trips around the entire track run before the coaster would
stop so I could get the heck off and once again have my feet safely on
solid ground. We picked up speed and things in my mind couldn’t come to
a safe end soon enough. We were on the fourth trip around the track
when suddenly there was a loud bang behind our car and the coaster came
to a screeching halt.
Amid the screams and noise of the midway there was a sudden dead calm!
The Floyd Street Gang had all been in the front four cars of a five car
train and were safe but the fifth car directly behind the one I was in
had disconnected from the train and flown off the track landing in a
heap against the side of one of the midway trailers. The kids that were
in the car were spilled onto the pavement and were all crying and some
were bleeding from cuts and scrapes. Fortunately, this was a small ride
that at it’s greatest height was only about 8’ off the ground. The
aluminum side of the trailer had crushed in and took a lot of the
momentum out of the crash. The car had contained the riders until
making impact with the trailer, which was, parked about 20 feet from
the coaster track. Once the car struck the trailer’s side it dropped
about 6 feet strait to the ground and stopped. The kids that fell out
onto the pavement did so once the car impacted the pavement. Luckily
none of the kids on the ride were seriously injured. Most of them had
scrapes and bruises but there were a few bad cuts and likely a few
broken bones.
In those days, the only first aid available was from members of St
John’s Ambulance volunteer group. Luckily they had a tent set up for
first aid not more than 100 feet from the crash sight and were within a
minute or two from helping the injured riders. I remember watching the
first aiders that were working with the injured kids and also seeing
the three large Cadillac station wagon Ambulances as they pulled into
the fair grounds to take the injured kids to KW Hospital. What a site
that was and that particular experience finished my midway thrill rides
for the rest of my life. This incident comes to mind whenever I even
think of a midway or county fair!
I was as I said about 8 years old at that time
and the next time I went anywhere near an amusement park ride was when
I was a married man with a young son. It was way back in the mid 80’s
and a cousin of mine talked Carole and I into accompanying he and his
wife to Canada’s Wonderland. The park, which is Canada’s first park of
its kind, had only been open for a few years. We decided to go and take
Adam along because “Kids love thrill rides!” and “I’d be cheating Adam
out of a wonderful day of fun if I chickened out”! So off we went and
it was a lovely summer day in July. Now keep in mind that my cousin and
his wife as well as my wife Carole all knew that I hate midway rides
and was only along for the day to watch as they did the thrill riding.
I had agreed to accompany Adam who was about 6 years old on the
kiddies’ rides but would under no circumstances go on the adult rides.
Once we were at the park, I finally agreed to go on one ride of my
cousin’s choice just to shut him up! Well, as I might have known, he
picked the newest and most dangerous ride in the park. It was called
The Dragon Fire and it was a loop d loop style roller coaster that
reached a mind-boggling 200 feet in the air at its highest point! Of
course I was told that sitting in the front seat of the front car was
the safest and most comforting place to ride this monster! So In I got
and not having any fear of heights (because after all, I was a big
brave Fire Fighter) off we went. Well, for the first minute of the ride
the Dragon Fire moved slowly as it climbed to the top of the highest
point so as to gain momentum for the rest of the ride. I sat calmly
beside my loving wife and said to her “The height doesn’t bother me! In
fact the view is amazing!” then suddenly … “JEEEEEEEEEZZZZUS CHRIIIIST
please save meeeee!!!” We were blistering down toward the ground at
mach 2 with what hair I had left on my head tearing right out of my
scalp from the speed of this thing! We looped, jerked, and twisted,
yanked and swerved all over the sky until finally pulling into the
station. The attendant had to come over and pull the release to let us
out of the lead car and even though he had done so, I still had to have
Carole pry my bleeding fingers free from the safety bar in front of my
seat! LOL! I can laugh about this whole incident now but at the time, I
was lucky to make it through the rest of the day without punching my
cousin right in the mouth! I have to admit that I was about 10 seconds
from having to change my shorts after that terrifying ride on The
Dragon Fire. To warm up for that ride I had taken a ride on the FLUME
SLIDE, which you may or may not know, is a ride down a water slide in a
hollow log! I did this ride without any hesitation and after completing
that one was ready (I thought) for The Dragon Fire. WRONG!
It took me about an hour to calm down after The
Dragon Fire and then I was ready to take a ride with Adam on the Model
T cars kiddy ride. Now that was much more my style and Adam didn’t have
to pry my fingers off the grab bar once we stopped! LOL!
We really did enjoy the day at Wonderland; fear factor and all but that
really was the final straw for my ever riding a thrill ride again! Not
even to complete my “Bucket List” will I ever take a ride on a midway
thrill ride again! At least on The Dragon Fire, I wasn’t in the last
car that according to statistics is the most likely one to fly off the
track! I think I’ll be content to watch from ground level if I’m ever
anywhere near a midway again!
That’s it for this week folks! Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look
forward to talking to you all again next time in The Ontarion Report!
Bye for now … Greg
PS: Something To Think About>
If ever you’re thinking about taking a ride on The Dragon Fire in
Wonderland and you say to yourself “Should I or Shouldn’t I?” think.
“DEPENDS!”
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Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.
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