The Squamidian Report – March 12 / 16
 
Issue #720

Including:
Lorne's Bird
The Ontarion

Hi All,

It took longer than expected but I got there. 400! Thats how many times, as of last Sunday afternoon, that I've been up the gondola since it opened. The reason it took longer than expected is that is has rained of 2 months straight around here and many of those rainy days were also quite stormy. On stormy days when the winds pick up they shut down the gondola for safety reasons and on those days no one goes up, no even me. Don't they know who I think I am? ;)

Its not that its a contest or race or any such thing, we just tend to go up there for a nice morning walk almost every day. But, the days that they must remain closed do tend to cut into our routine. Now when I say its rained for 2 months straight, I'm not implying 'none-stop'. On lots of days it only rained all night, or all afternoon or whatever. There has even been some sunshine on some of those days where it didn't rain all day. But there has been lots of days where it did rain none-stop for days on end and this past week has been just that. When those Pacific storms pump in one after another it can start to get a bit endless. And when they include gail force winds, well, trees come down, power goes out in may areas of the Lower Mainland and gondolas close.

Its kind of fun to do the math regarding 400+ times up the gondola because that also means 400 times back down. I'm not stupid enough to walk back down. Heck, even the fitness freaks who hike up don't walk back down, they ride. Its a 2km trip in each direction, therefore, its a round trip on 4km. Therefore, I've now travelled over 1600km riding up and down in those gondolas. Thats a thousand horizontal miles. The ride each way climbs or descends, depending on direction, about a kilometer. Therefore, over those same 400+ trips, I've ascended 400km and descended 400km. Good thing they cancel each other out or I'd be left stranded at some weird altitude.

Getting back to closures due to the weather, the gondola was closed again this past Thursday, high winds and driving rain being the reason. So, we went down to Maple Ridge. 'The Wife' heads east again this coming Sunday and she wanted to see the youngest granddaughter before leaving, and wanted to fetch Kyra up to our place for a few days. That drive down was rather stressful. Driving rain and howling winds made controlling a car exhausting and the resultant traffic mess made it even more so. To make it worse, power was out in many areas meaning that the traffic signal lights were out. Four lane busy streets that are always choked with traffic become even more scary under  conditions like that. Many of the intersections with lights out, or malfunctioning lights, had the expected crashes. Many drivers are so unaware of what is going on around them that they just sail right on through, paying no attention at all to anything. Not a fun drive. The drive home was a bit better and once we left the Lower Mainland behind as we rounded the curve above Horseshoe Bay, we could relax. From there on up to 'here' the only issue was wind and rain. We were ahead of the commuter crush that heads back up to Squamish every evening, and the adrenalin junkies that head for Whistler. We had left Willow at home. She was glad to see us, she always seems to think she has been abandoned forever, and she was excited to see Kyra. Kyra is always excited and happy to be at our place, so the day ended just fine.

doug
****

Lorne's Bird

Thursday March 10.   Hearing a tapping noise in the sunroom area, I thought first a tree branch was blowing against a window. However there is no wind. I then stood in the room to find out what was making the noise.  Noticed a  female robin is repeatedly frying or jumping from the porch railing to the window a distance of about 18".  She would hit the window with her beak then bounce back to the railing. After many unsuccessful attempts to get in to build a nest,  she then went around the corner to the next window and from an evergreen about 3' away, her urgent drive to get inside to build her nest and raise her young was too overpowering to ever give up. Finely I opened the door and had a long talk with her about the possible injury that could occur, she took my advise to heart and flew into a nearby tree. Great if she can find a more suitable spot nearby even though her hungry family will find fresh peas in the garden and strip the cherry tree.

Lorne
****

THE ONTARION REPORT

Hello everyone!
Things are looking up as far as the coming of spring goes! Today I spotted my first Robin. He was sitting on the corner of our garage roof and was a fine specimen indeed. I’d say he hasn’t missed a meal all winter, as he was one of the plumpest Robins I’ve ever seen. Good to see that he weathered the winter in style and returned home well fed.
He wasn’t the only healthy specimen of nature seen around here today, Carole spotted a grey squirrel bounding along on top of our fence and he also looked like he’d been enjoying three meals a day all winter. I guess with the mild winter season our outdoor friends have seen no need to hibernate for more than a week or two at a time as the odd snowstorm blanketed southern Ontario. We even have a chipmunk living under our front porch and he’s opened up an exit at both ends of the porch at lease three weeks ago. We’ve seen his tracks in the limited snow we have had quite often all winter. I guess even the “Chippie” didn’t sleep much in the warm earth beneath our concrete porch. Oh well, with an early start to spring eating, most of the animals should be good and healthy this year.

Speaking of squirrels, our Prime Minister has emerged on the other side of the border and is causing quite a stir for the first time in almost 20 years in Washington. Let’s hope he accomplishes something more than just getting his face on every US magazine while he’s down there. He should fit right in with the rest of the nuts in the American capital! Maybe he’ll light up a “doobie” with Barry and get him to change his mind about the trans continental pipeline so we can get our Alberta oil workers back on the job! So far I haven’t heard anything about an official agenda for Justin’s visit. From what I’ve heard on the news, the most important item on their itinerary is whether or not the Whitehouse chef served them maple syrup from Canada or Vermont. Seems like the Americans can’t get anything right! Oh yeah, they did manage to set the dinner table with dinner ware in Sophie’s favourite colour so I guess that’s saying something. Do any of the American people even care that our PM is in Washington to meet with their President? I doubt that most of them even know he’s in the US Capital! Oh well, as long as the reporters that take a moment away from writing about Donald Trump’s smart mouth get the colour of Sophie’s dress right I guess at least someone is paying attention. Hopefully this historical meeting will accomplish something worthwhile and it won’t go down in the annals of history as Justin’s last supper! With Obama having only 7 months left of his term as President, I’d be surprised if anyone other than the fashion magazines even gives a damn that these two leaders are meeting. One is almost a “has been” and the other is a young rookie grade 10 teacher whose only political experience comes from being a former PM’s son with a mother who’s claim to fame is that she made love to The Rolling Stones and showed off her private parts at Studio 54 in New York while her Husband cursed “Fuddle Duddle” at the reporters in Ottawa when asked about forcing his personal choice for the design of the “New” Canadian flag on the citizens of the Great White North! If nothing else, the Trudeau family knows how to get their faces in the news! One thing’s for sure, Justin is a helluva lot prettier than Pierre Elliot ever was so lets hope that even though he’s another “Liberal”, that he does something constructive while he’s in office. He’s got 4 years to either make Canada a better place to live (If that’s possible) or like his Liberal predecessors, drive us so deeply into debt that we’ll be borrowing from the Chinese to keep afloat! His counterpart in the Ontario Liberal Party thinks she has all the answers and when she’s up against the wall she just turns around and sells another asset out from under the citizens to pay for her blunder! Now she’s paying the Chinese $16,000,000.00 to set up shop in Waterloo to compete with Blackberry and using our tax money to do so! I wonder how much her cut of the pie is worth? Let’s remember her mistakes come time to elect the next Provincial Government! Trudeau has 4 years to shit or get off the pot, let’s hope he isn’t sitting on the same pot as our provincial princess!

As you can tell, I’m starting to lose it here so I’ll call it a day for this week’s column!
Thanks for tuning in and I’ll look forward to talking to you all again next week in The Ontarion Report!

Bye for now … Greg

PS: Something To Think About>
Where is the world’s most populated city?
Shanghai China:
At a whopping 24,150,000 permanent inhabitants, Shanghai is the only city that is home to over 24 million people!

****

Have a good one..
the doug
The Fine Print!
The articles in these issues are the sole property of the persons writing them and should be respected as such.