The Squamidian Report – July 29 / 06

Issue #217

 

Also in this issue:

A Note From Carol

A Note From Ewan

Fern Glen Update

The Ontarion

 

Hi All,

 

For reasons quite beyond me, we picked one of the hottest days during our heat wave to shred some brush and other plant material in our back yard. Several shrubs had been trimmed back as well as the ivy hedge that encroaches over our fence making for a pile of brush and stuff. We had also removed some lower branches from our monkey tree that needed to be dealt with. So under a relentless sun and in temperatures that must have been about a zillion, we fired up the shredder and reduced the brush pile down to mulch. While the whole thing only took about half an hour, it was stifling work and left us exhausted and probably over heated. It’s amazing how cold the shower water needs be when you need to get cooled down.

 

The shredder is what I’d call a semi-useful tool. It is kind of like a heavy-duty version of an upright lawn mower with a chute that feeds the brush onto a flywheel with cutting edges. The material is drawn through the cutting edges and blown out the other end. The problem is, these machines have been made so safe for us dumb homeowners to use that they are almost useless. The design of the chute makes it is hard to feed the branches into the machine. The design of the machine makes it hard for anything to get into the machine. So it takes two people to feed stuff in, one to stick each handful into the chute and one to prod it forward and keep the stuff from hanging up on the frame and entrance area. But once things go through the cutters they come out as nice fine mulch that can go right back onto the flowerbeds. So because the shredder has been made so hard to use so that it is safe to use, it is only semi-useful, its almost easier to truck the stuff away for dumping but then you loose out on returning the mulch you make back to the ground it came from.

 

An interesting side effect of hot weather here in the mountains is that our streams and rivers rise and run faster. At least they do in the short term. Unlike watercourses in most parts of the country where the flow level drops during a heat wave, ours rises due to the accelerated rate of snow-melt high in the mountains. The danger is that areas that normally stay snow-covered all year have been shrinking and could melt right off if it stays too hot for too long.

 

But hey, we’ve got a lot of great stuff to read sent in by our other contributors so I’ll just shut up and let you get on with it.

 

 

doug

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A Note From Carol

 

Hi Doug,

 

As not all the Squid people can be reached with a "reply all"  would you please include in your next weekly that we will be having a barbecue for all to meet Australia Karin on August 19th.  It will be at the parents' place from 4 until whenever.

 

Carol

 

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A Note From Ewan

Hello all,

Well, here it is the middle of the summer and I'm writing to you already. Usually I don't have time until things slow down in the autumn! One factor is that some of us have been staying later recently, in part because of the gorgeous Brazilian cleaning lady who comes around our floor around 6:30 pm or so. But I digress.

It's been a lovely summer in southern Ontario so far, as Greg pointed out. I've been busy with all sorts of small adventures and mindless diversions. But I would like to tell you about a series of blunders that I made in the spring. I sort of see Doug as the personification of competence, and when he tells us about some knuckle headed thing that he did by mistake, it makes me feel a little bit better about my own mistakes. Sometimes when I find myself in a challenging situation I ask myself, "what would so and so do in this spot?"

Often my own answer is, "So and so wouldn't have been in this situation in the first place because so and so would have thought it out before hand. Also, so and so doesn't happen to be an idiot!"

I chalk it all up to learning. Case in point:

The day before we left for the Caribbean cruise I was picking up some dry cleaning. Just down the street from the cleaner's there is an old carpenter's shop. The place looks really rough, and so does the carpenter. But there was a shelving until sitting there that caught my eye. He told me that he only makes custom units, at a very reasonable price. His work is a bit crude around the edges, but so am I and I like it. I went home to take some measurements. I got all caught up in the moment, excited about the idea of a triangular corner book shelf and even a large cabinet for hanging cloths. I'd wanted to have a "double decker" closet for a long time. I have high ceilings but very little room, and almost no closet space. I figured the cabinet would go in two pieces, side by side. I took all my measurements and quickly went back to the shop.

We went over the drawings I'd made, and the dimensions. He suggested some minor improvements and I was all for it. I was also excited because the shelving would be done by the time I got back. Perfect! Never thought about it again.

Eventually I went back to pick up the shelving. It matched my description, but in real life it looked a tad bigger than I'd pictured it. That wasn't much of a problem, but the first rumbling of doubt about the cabinets started in my mind. I later realized that by this point in the story I'd already blown about three or four good opportunities to avoid a major headache.

I got the shelves home, and my downstairs neighbour came home just as I was beginning the ludicrously impossible task of heaving the thing up the stairs alone. A friend in need is a friend in deed! We gave up about three quarters of the way up, it wouldn't make the corner. But I'd thought of that! He handed it to me from the ground while I was on the balcony, and it worked like a charm. It was also handy because I still wanted to be able to finish it with some varnish before bringing it in. In this story the balcony is considerably closer to the ground than in the one where I threw the couch off.

I really starting looking long and hard at the spot in my apartment between the balcony and the rest the place. I made some measurements and assured myself that it'd be okay, and that in the worst case scenario I could keep the cabinets in my store room. It's right off the balcony, and I knew they'd fit through the door. By the time I had the second coat of varnish on the shelves it was time to pick up the cabinets.

The first thing to do here was do admit to myself that I'd made a mistake. But I wasn't quite ready for that yet. We'll call it "determination."

I knew I'd need a hand, and I knew that there would be some heaving involved. There is a small platform on my balcony, outside the railing, that is perfect for moving stuff. I thought to nail down some foot holds, and even went so far as to get a proper safety harness. Better safe than sorry! The dollars for these cheap cabinets were slowly adding up, but I wouldn't throw in the towel yet!

That Saturday started early, I was prepared with a few things and more than half a plan. Outside the landlord had some east European tough guys digging and hammering, doing your basic strong man labour type stuff. Maybe he wouldn't mind sparing a few of them for a couple of minutes? Having scene the cabinets, and being experienced in moving various large objects on and off the balcony I knew that it was a fundamentally stupid thing to do, but again I felt I had to try. But I also suspected that if I tried to arrange it before hand no one would go for it. Better to just show up and ask for a hand, like "Oops! These cabinets are a little too large for me! Give me a hand eh?"

So off I went to rent the truck. I'd never actually driven a pick up before (beyond a parking lot anyway), but if it wasn't a problem for the people at the rental place then I wouldn't worry about it either. It was a very simple route after all, and quite short. I was glad to be able to take the second to hugest truck. I don't remember the make, it was simply NEW. An interesting part of the rental process was that I first became aware that my platinum card, the one with the free insurance, had just expired. I had never received the replacement card.

I was very focused on safe driving. I went down Dundas street straight to the carpenter's shop. We tilted it on to the bed and tied it off. With the gate down it was just about a perfect fit for the truck. Perfect for my tiny apartment too! Was I thinking that I live on a farmstead or something?! Can't turn back now.

Getting home was a snap. I made one critical error however. I entered our parking lot via the wrong entrance. It meant that I would have to turn it in the lot. Easy enough in the small cars I usually drive. This was the first moment that my land lord got that, "Soooo what's Ewan up to today?" look on his face.

I spoke with the Alpha labourer, and he said yah, so I gingerly backed out the way I came and went in the other way. One of my neighbours took off, either because he had to go or he just didn't trust me around his car! Either way it gave me enough room to back the truck in on an angle just below the balcony. This saved moving the cabinet, and gave us a couple of feet up.

Fortunately the east Europeans had much of their own ropes, spikes, boards and implements of destruction. One of them removed my little toe holds and replaced them with a large board that would protect the eaves trough. Up the first one went, huff huff boom. They all took off before I could get the second one ready, but they were willing the next day. It spent the night covered by a tarp, in the back of the truck in the tiny parking lot. I wanted the truck back already, but I had it the extra day anyway. So on Sunday the second one was up and over also. Only very minor damage, and they were rough and unfinished anyway. I gave the lads a few bucks and all were happy. Somewhere in the back of my head a small voice wondered how normal folk go about doing things. I returned the truck without so much as a scratch on the bed.

At least I had time at this point. I focused on finishing them, which was more work than I'd imagined, and considerably less fun. Birds kept trying to live in the gap between one of the cabinets and the roof of the balcony. I would not let them. I also found that pivoting them was a hassle. The cabinets took priority over the shelves because the shelves were not slowly ruining my life. Eventually the cabinets were ready for the first attempt at getting them in to the house.

Before hand I had removed some other shelves that took up a critical corner on the path inside. Those needed finishing too, and since I was already up to my eye balls anyway I planned to finish those also while they were down. One evening after work everything was set. Reality and pretty much set in by now, and I wasn't kidding myself. I knew there was no way but I had to try, because they just might…

Heaving and lugging I got the first one in to the store room. I'm actually quite bad at moving large heavy things at the best of times, and this was definitely a two man job. The second man was needed to point out that it was a dumb idea! So it wouldn't go any further. Well, it was worth a try I thought. At least now I know. And hey, I can keep them in the store room. Wrong! Too tall! I could pivot them upright, they would have to have been about three inches shorter to fit on the diagonal. Exhausted and mentally numb I lugged it back out. I scratched the side of it too, just to rub salt in it.

That was the Thursday night before the long weekend in May. Bloody cabinets. Cost me half my spring. What was I thinking? Mentally, I gave up. I felt better. I felt free. It was as though I'd paid with blood, sweat and money just to learn a few simple lessons. Big things don't go in to small things, the world doesn't work that way. I thought about how I just could have asked the carpenter to build them in four pieces, to be assembled later. Or he could have assembled them in my room. I thought about how I know people who probably could have used the work, would have been grateful for a fraction of what I paid, and done a better job than what I was left with.

How is it that I can manage major projects at work, and figure ways out of critical outages, all of which involve complex networks of perpetually changing computer systems, and I can't see that a big box doesn't fit in to a small box? Isn't that kindergarten? Was I sick that day? Well, better to learn today than tomorrow.

The next night as we were finishing up a lovely dinner and a drink, in a fine cabin near Algonquin, I told the friends and family present about my whole messed up spring. We chuckled. It was apparent that perhaps I'm not quite ready for a house of my own. I'm getting there.

It was my long time friend Mark who suggested that I cut the cabinets in half. I agreed, if they're to be pitched it would be much easier in pieces. I had thought about trying to disassemble them to move in, but I didn't think it would work…

"No, I mean, why not just cut them in half nicely so that they can be reassembled inside?"

Whoa. I was just blown out of my chair by that idea! Mark has always been the technical one. So I asked him to help me. Really, that was my mistake from the beginning. Why try to do everything alone? So one Friday night he came around and we cut them in two. It was a good job. We went out for pizza. Later I put them back together in my room, where they now stand. It was so much easier with them in two. It cost me a lot of my free time in the spring, the rest of the place was a mess. But at least I could hang up my cloths. I just wanted to hang up my cloths in something better than these two cheap plastic Rubbermaid portable closets I was using.

And to think Jackie felt foolish for having the drill spin in reverse!

The epilogue to all this came the weekend after I rented the truck. I had contacted MasterCard, and they cancelled the missing card that was sent. It would take a bit longer for the new one to get to me. I had planned to rent a car for the weekend, nothing to do with the cabinet. I often do this, and never have any trouble. Of course I got all the insurance I could get. Well, wouldn't you know what happened next. I was looking for a parking spot at work. It was pretty full on the level that I was on. Normally I'd continue on to where ever there was a vacant spot or spots. But for some reason, maybe it was the knowledge that I didn't have the same coverage, maybe it wasn't, I felt compelled to park in a very tight spot between a wall and a pillar. To make matters worse, the car opposite wasn't backed in far enough, which made it extra tight. The fact that there were no other spaces anywhere near this one might have tipped me off too. But I wasn't in the truck, just a small car! So I gave it a shot. I ended up with a scratch on the bumper about the size of a quarter. Disgrace! Shame! $260! Immediately afterwards I noticed the collage of various scrape marks along the wall, from the other fools.

Any other time it would have cost me nothing. But any other time it wouldn't have happened! The summer pretty much got better from there.

Ewan

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Fern Glen Update

 

Whew, am I exhausted. But in a good way! This has been our busiest month ever and as tired as I can be at the end of the day, it feels good to know we are on the right track. The scary thing is, we need to be twice as busy in order to meet our long term goals. Yikes! We had a run of various guests for 13 nights straight, including dinner for seven of the  nights. Jim was ready for a break after about ten days of people. We had one couple here  for seven nights and that was a little much for him. There's nobody he likes for seven  days straight, not even me!

 

Other than losing power for a few hours, we weren't greatly affected by the big storms we had up here. There are places just 45 minutes north of here that were without power or phone for anywhere from three days to a week. We heard about roofs caving in, trees falling on cars and buildings and all sorts of damage. Jim was called out to a fire at a cabin that was struck by lightening. Thankfully, no one was there at the time.

 

We did have guests for dinner when the storm was raging and the power went out. We just lit a bunch of candles, opened another bottle of wine, and they loved it. They thought it was part of the adventure and charm of staying at this old farmhouse.

 

Often my day starts at 6:30am getting myself and breakfast ready for our guests; and winds down—especially when I'm doing a dinner— around midnight or later as a put the finishing touches on breakfast prep. In between, there's a lot of work to be done but we make time to enjoy ourselves, too. Most days I can fit in a bike ride down the trail or a swim at one of the local lakes. Even 15 minutes in the water can feel like a mini-vacation. It's one of the things I love about living here.

 

However, we did have a Lord of the Rings moment one day at Brook's Falls. Jim and I scooted over to the nearby waterfalls one afternoon for a swim in the rapids downstream. The river is a mix of shallow stretches, deep pools, rapids and falls over big boulders and small stones. Jim was in a deep section with a fast current when he felt his wedding band slip off his finger. He was in arm-pit deep water that was swirling and bubbling, with a jumble of boulders at his feet. There was no way to see where the ring landed. So he jumped in the car and raced home for his snorkel mask and fins. On his way back to our spot in the river, he noticed a bottle cap on the trail, picked it up and put it in his pocket (we like our tourist areas looking clean). Then he geared up and headed under water. He'd been looking for about 15-20 minutes when the bottle cap fell out of his pocket. He saw it as it fell and reached over to pick it back up... and that's when he saw it land right beside his wedding band! So he has his ring securely back on his finger (but removes it to go swimming now!). For you Tolkien fans out there, we like to think his ring WANTED to be found. I just love a happy ending! :)

 

And lastly, I'd like to tell you about a guest we had during all this business. She was here for one of our packages I call a mini-sabbatical, which is geared for a single traveller to just get away from everyday life and unwind. Our guest needed this getaway as she's had a difficult year. Her son was in a car accident last September and will not have a full physical recovery. Before his accident, he was a real adventurer, horseback riding across the Australian outback for example, travelling and experiencing things that many of us never will. His mother told us he was climbing out of his crib by the time he was seven months old, climbing trees at two years old. A going concern and loving every minute of it. But now his biggest challenge is simply to walk.

 

On to the point of my story... Along with extra meals, the mini-sabbatical package includes a printout of an inspirational quote tucked into the picnic lunch. I choose the quotes from a collection I've compiled over the years. When I chose the quote for our guest's first lunch, I had no idea about her son or any of her story. Later in her stay she told us about it. She thanked me for the quote and said it was perfect, just what she needed to hear. She said she hasn't cried in 30 years but when she read those words, she just sat there and bawled. She said her whole stay here was just what she needed.

 

I know I'm not saving lives or performing brain surgery here. But it is incredibly rewarding for me to know that people can come here and find so much more than just a place to sleep and a meal in their belly. I think life has a way, sometimes, of putting us in the right place at the right time, even when we don't even know it. On that note, I'll leave you with the quote.

 

Take care,

Jackie

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"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."

- Jack London

 

 

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THE ONTARION REPORT

 

Hello everyone!

 

Well, my main effort last week went largely unnoticed due to the short subject I suggested at the end of the column. Maybe I’ll have better luck this week. I can’t say I’m disappointed at the result but I was however, surprised at the barrage of input from many of you that are usually quite sedate in your participation. It makes me very happy to see that we have so many people still paying attention to the weekly after all the time it’s been “published”. I’m sure that Doug is pleased to see the participation as well. Keep up the input, it was GRRRRRRREAT! As Tony the Tiger would say!

 

I personally like it when we get on to a serious topic once in a while. It seems to solicit participation from more of the members than just reading an account of someone’s weekend. Thanks for all the input this past week, keep it up!

*

Our weather has been up and down this past week. With the threat of rain most days it’s put the damper on my thoughts of taking a motorcycle ride. I guess I’m a “fair weather” rider and don’t like the thought of getting caught in the rain while on the bike. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and get myself a rain suit so I can head out even if they’re predicting showers. On the other hand, if it’s supposed to rain, I’d much rather be in an air conditioned Jeep when it happens.

 

I was out on the bike Tuesday afternoon just to pick up a prescription and decided to stop in to the new Vespa “Scooter” dealership. Carole and I had identical 650 Honda Custom motorcycles in 1982. I kept mine for a couple of years but Carole only lasted about 2 months or so before she decided it wasn’t for her. She has however been noticing those cute little Vespas tooting around town since the dealers arrival. It was mentioned that she might just enjoy having a Scooter to bop around town on since they’re cute and automatic. This is why I figured it might be a good idea to check them out in person. Well, they have a very good assortment of them in the showroom they share with the Mitsubishi Dealer. These little machines range in engine size from 50cc to 500cc. The smaller ones are truly only for city streets but the bigger ones 250cc to 500cc can be ridden pretty much anywhere. I thought they’d be reasonably priced for the size of them. I got a bit of a shock when I started looking at the price tags. The basic 50cc lists at $2750.00 and I guess that’s not really too bad for a brand new vehicle. The next step up is a 150cc and its price is $5500.00, a little bigger engine but still the same machine size wise. Carole’s right, they are cute and they do give you incredible mileage but they’re still not what you get in a true motorcycle for not much more money. The mileage is best in the two smaller scooters. The little one gives 100 miles per gallon + and the 150cc manages around 80 mpg. For tooting around town doing errands they’re pretty cool.

They even come with a trunk, windshield and saddle bags for a few hundred more. If only we had the weather to warrant the use of such a vehicle year round we’d see a lot more of them on the roads. Italy, France and Spain are loaded with these scooters. Of course these countries have been paying huge money per gallon of gas for many years and know the value of the tiny two wheelers.

 

Carole and I were out to Stratford Thursday afternoon to do a little shopping and touring. While passing a Petro Canada station we noticed a Vespa Scooter on the lot for sale. We stopped in just to check it out and found out that it belongs to a customer. The station manager said that it was a 1955 model Vespa and only has 25kms on it. I’m sure it’s actually 100 thousand and 25kms after all these years. However, looking at the condition of the machine I’d be inclined to wonder. It was in amazing shape and I was told it runs like new. The colour isn’t original I’m sure as it is HOT PINK and the paint is flawless. I think the colour is what attracted Carole to the bike in the first place. The proprietor said he thinks the owner is asking $3500.00 for the scooter. I thanked him for the info and wrote the phone number down. When we got home, I phoned the Vespa dealer to tell him about the old scooter. I thought he might be interested in it for a promotional display. He thanked me for the tip and said he would definitely like to have the vintage bike. He said he’ll phone the owner and try to make a deal. He was very surprised at the year. I guess these little machines have been around for a long time. This one is 51 years old and you can still buy parts for them. The dealer told me he can have any part within two days of order no matter how old the scooter is. That’s amazing for sure. I hope he gets the scooter for his showroom but then again, what’s it to me?

 

I just think it’s neat that it’s so old and still in great shape. I doubt we’ll ever invest in a Scooter for Carole but it was fun checking them out anyway. I think Carole still prefers to be scooting around town in her MGB. At least if it rains, she’s got a roof she can put over her head. Not to mention a passenger seat and a trunk to carry her parcels when on her shopping sprees! LOL! Now that’s important!

 

Gotta go for now. Thanks for tuning in and I look forward to talking to you all again next time in The Ontarion Report.

 

Bye for now…GREG.

 

PS: Something To Think About>

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

 

 

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The Family and the Squamidian sites:

http://members.shaw.ca/doug_b/ and http://www.thedougsite.ca

Have a good one..

the doug

 

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