The Squamidian Report – April 2 / 05

 

Also in this issue:

The Ontarion

 

Hi All,

 

The west coast has been getting its spring rains lately. That’s a good thing. It puts needed moisture into the forests, fills the lakes and rivers. A funny thing about rain around here, people don’t really seem to notice it very much. Life goes on, kids play in the streets, joggers jog and so on. There has been a lot of concern about the upcoming forest fire season. Lots of heavy rain will keep things green.

 

And guess what? The kids are moving out this weekend. They have taken an apartment or suite or whatever you call it that is on the ground level of a house. The house is owned by someone Emily car-pools with and is within walking distance of our ‘down town’ and a bus stop. They have been with us for 5 months now and have landed jobs, gotten to know people and basically have had a chance to settle in to the area. So the time is right for them to step out on their own and get on with their lives.

 

Their official address will still be the same as ours. There is simply no need at this point to jump through all those red tape hoops needed to do an address change. They can continue to get their mail delivered to our postal box. They both have cell phones so there is really no need for them to set up and pay for a landline phone. Ryan has signed up for cable high speed Internet, couldn’t live without that. Besides, what would be the point of having his 3 computers networked if they couldn’t all be downloading something at the same time.

 

Biggest difference for us besides our grocery bill dropping back down will be that we have two available guest rooms again and a bunch of boxes will be moved out of the garage. It will be good for them to be on their own again, it will be good for us as well.

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I spent several days this past week stripping the overburden on a site the will become a condo project. The machine I’ve been using is a big Cat 325 excavator. The overburden we are removing is the fine silts and light clayish materials that have been deposited over the centuries by floods. This stuff is spongy and unstable, not at all structural. This stuff is lovingly known as shmoo around here.  I ended up getting the machine stuck for a while. It simply sank deep enough that the tracks and undercarriage were out of sight. The upper structure that swings was pushing dirt when I would try to rotate. The way you extract a stuck excavator from mud is to use the boom and bucket to lift the tracks, rotate a bit and set the tracks down on a higher piece of ground. However, even a powerful machine like the 325 had difficulty lifting itself. Suction holds the tracks down and a lot of force is needed to pull them free. Eventually I worked my way out but by then there was shmoo on the sides of the machine, shmoo was even flowing onto the floor of the cab. Quite a mess.

 

It wouldn’t have sunk forever. We are stripping down to a solid layer of firm sand that is between 3 and 5 feet down. This sand qualifies as structural. It won’t shift, ooze, squish or otherwise let you down. It is on this layer that we build back up with pit-run gravel to form a solid pad for the construction project.

 

d

 

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THE ONTARION REPORT

 

APRIL 1, 2005

 

Hello everyone!

 

I know I almost always start with a comment about the weather and it must be getting boring but this week I simply must say something. When Doug calls our lovely province "Ontarible" I tend to get my back up a little. However, sitting here right now with the thought of the amazingly gentle way that March left us yesterday, I can't help but put myself into Doug's school of thought. The reason for this is the impending 10cm of snow that is forecast for our area on the weekend. How dare Mother Nature pull such a dirty trick on Southern Ontario! Maybe the "Ontarible" moniker is fitting after all!

 

Oh well, it's going to be short lived anyway. The forecast for Monday and Tuesday is full sunshine and warm temperatures once again. I'm sure with this weekend behind us it'll be smooth sailing and clear skies from then on. I know what the problem is actually, it's all the fault of those Elmira-ites to the north of us. If they hadn't planned to have their "Maple Syrup" festival this weekend the weather would be just fine. It seems every year their festival is dampened by the weather and this year is no exception. I think starting next year, they should bottle their syrup and hold the festival in mid July! They just might stand a better chance of a sunny weekend if they did.

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Today being April Fool's Day blew right over my head. I completely forgot about it until it was afternoon and of course, too late to fool anyone. Carole is usually the one person in this house that manages to fool someone. Even she forgot about it this year. I guess maybe we're getting too old for such shenanigans anyway. I heard on the news that someone sent out a press release to all the news agencies and papers in Ontario stating that there would be a press conference at the Waterloo International Airport this morning at 11am. It was to announce the launch of a new airline called Grand Air International and was the resurrection of JetsGo Air. The statement said that Grand would be based at Waterloo International and would be starting off with a fleet of 10 aircraft. The request for attendance at the press conference by all news agencies was apparently sent out from Waterloo Regional Headquarters. It was on official letter head and appeared to be legitimate. When CKCO TV made an early inquiry about the meeting the Region Offices new nothing about it. As it turned out, it was someone's idea of an April Fools joke. The Regional chairman was not amused and is considering asking the Regional Police to investigate. I think it's funny as hell and the perpetrator deserves a round of applause.

 

Most of the news we hear these days is pretty heavy and discouraging and it was good to hear something that tickled the funny bone for a change! Did any of you pull an April Fool's Joke on someone today? If so, I'd like to hear about it. With all the political correctness BS that goes on in our fine country these days, we are in dire need of some "lightening up".

 

It's a sad state of affairs when we are told flat out in our schools and work places that there is no tolerance for jokes of any kind. The government is so shit scared they'll offend some minority group that they are making life totally boring for the rest of us. It's a sad world when we aren't allowed to express any humor for fear of slighting someone. We were told during the NDP years in Ontario that every joke is at someone's expense and humor of any kind would not be tolerated in The Ontario Fire College in Gravenhurst. They told us that anyone caught telling or making jokes of any kind would be sent home immediately and would not get credit for the course. Let me tell you, that put a damper on the whole learning experience. They had everyone in the school afraid to open their mouths for fear of being misinterpreted or accused of being offensive. I've always enjoyed a good laugh and like it or not some of the best belly laughs are instigated by some of the most "seasoned" jokes. I myself have been the brunt of many a joke in my life time and have dished out my share as well. Life's too short to be offended at every turn in the road. I say laughter keeps you sane and is the greatest of all stress relievers and if today's governments can't laugh at a joke, they must be the most stressed out and insane bunch of bastards in the country!

 

In fact, if you've ever watched our government in action on parliamentary TV, you've witnessed first hand some of the biggest JOKES in Canada! I rest my case!

 

I almost got into the Political Correctness thing this week but I think I'll keep that topic for a full discussion in the near future. Thanks for tuning in this week. I look forward to seeing you all again next time in The Ontarion Report.

 

Bye for now. GREG.

PS: Something To Think About>

Did you hear the one about......?

 

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The Family and the Squamidian sites:

http://members.shaw.ca/doug_b/ and http://www.thedougsite.ca

Have a good one..

the doug

 

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